The worst. My wife's boss was in his 40s when it struck him. His one wish was to see his kids graduate high school. He was a wonderful man. It never happens to the bad ones.

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child abuse. Don't go there unless you want your kid to look like Timmy.


http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...Wiki_timmy.gif

I am so sorry for this awful thing to happen to you and your family!!! Great advice on here. I would just add this: you might want to observe hidden concerns of your kids about the same thing happening to you. A family member died a few weeks ago and Vietbabe started asking about other deaths - why did the cat die, why did Grandpa's mommy die (this happened well before Vietbabe was born). I told her b/c they were sick and also, old, yadda yadda. She was acting strange one day and I finally got her to say what was on her mind -- she was concerned that I would also get sick (she didn't say it, but obviously concerned that I would die). So I think you want to reassure your kids - who knows what on their minds if they don't tell us? They might think your poor Mom's cancer is some kind of plague that is going to snare you or your spouse. Or them.

This sounds like good advice.

We traveled to see my mom a few weeks ago. The morning after we got there, she was not feeling well at all, and we took her to the hospital. She's been there ever since, and she there's for the duration, which won't be long. I've been with her since then, spending my waking hours in the hospital room (and I'm sitting next to her bed now). My wife took the kids back to our place a while ago now, so I basically haven't seen them in a few weeks, save for one visit to the hospital room. I'm sure they are quite concerned, and will be even more so with the news that will bring me home, but for the moment it falls to my wife to help them.

okay, kids may be worried about your feeling. let them know you're sad, but that you have great memories of her. ask them their favorite memories of her. let them know how lucky they are to have known her and that some kids don't know their grandparents.

Had an ultrasound today at 7 weeks. Anyone have advice on fraternal twins? Pregnancy, childhood, college investments?

Pick the one you like.

There's a former poster with twin five year old girls that I can put you in touch with if you want to PM me.

If this is ABBA I am going to cry.

The Twins (and I Don't Mean Tits)
 

there goes my guess.

The Twins (and I Don't Mean Tits)
 

Hell, no. If it was me, I'd do way more than cry.

Sign that your children might be getting too much religious education: "Daddy, is there The Berenstain Bears Get Crucified?"

Sign, in the same conversation, that they might not be getting enough: "Daddy, is there The Berenstain Bears Get Into a Knife Fight?"

Bill Simmons:

• That reminds me, somebody needs to launch a Web site for anyone thinking about having two or more kids. The Web site would be called "Why Didn't You Effing Tell Me?" and would include the following features:
  
  # The "Why Didn't You Effing Tell Me?" Blog, in which dads rip into their buddies for not warning them to stick with one kid.
  
  # A quote page of deranged things said by mothers melting down as both of their kids were crying at the same time; stuff like, "I swear to God, I'm going to stick this baby in the microwave soon and defrost him!" and "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, YOU WANTED TWO, I WISH YOU WERE DEAD!!!!"
  
  # A detailed explanation of my buddy Sully's 12 Percent Theory, which can be described in one sentence like this: "Assuming women start out at 100 percent on the Sanity Scale, every time she passes a living being out of her body, she becomes 12 percent less sane." By the way, this is why Hillary Clinton can run for president -- she only had one kid, so she's operating at 88 percent capacity. Still much higher than George W. Bush.
  
  # Transcripts of incoherent shouting matches between sleep-deprived parents.
  
  # Live webcams featuring streaming video inside the living rooms of families with two or more kids. And before anyone decides to have a second kid, by federal law, they'd have to spend three hours surfing around this Web site.

Funny. It was a big adjustment.

S_A_M

How are you doing over there?

Emergency Assistance to Orphanages
 

If anyone could make even a small donation (over the next day or two) for emergency orphan relief, it would be so appreciated. Orphanges in certain provinces in Viet Nam (Hanoi, Bac Giang, Hay Tay and Bac Ninh) have been hit hard by severe cold weather which is helping spread a virulent form of rhinovirus leading to pneumonia. We started hearing about it when adoptive parents were getting word that children referred to them had died. An organized called Ethica (I now the people there well) is organizing the drive to quickly get assistance to the orphanages through its representative in Hanoi. Ethica is a U.S.-based 501(c)(3) organization and donations are tax deductible. To donate even a small amount, please go to:

http://www.ethicanet.org/item.php?recordid=blankets

Thank you!!! (I just heard back that it has gotten $7,700 in donations and it needs about $9,400 -- so close!)

An old Friday tradition
 

For a limited time only, the Ramone girls visiting baby panthers in Mismaloya, Mexico.


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My mother died about a week after that post. Obviously, it blows, but I suppose I could be doing much worse. Thanks for asking.

A few thoughts:

The first two years suck. After that, it gets much better. By five, it's really pretty tolerable. Also, during the first two years, and especially the first year, traveling with twins is like traveling with a rock star. Everyone will want to fawn over them while you are trying to wrestle them out of their stroller and into the car/plane/house/daycare. No one will offer to help. It does get better, though.

All across the country are mothers of multiples clubs (sometimes they are "parents of multiples). Find your local one and join today. They'll have lots of useful information about what to expect, and they'll help you out in dealing with the first few months and years. They are often also a good source of gently used clothing and equipment, if that's an issue. I can't emphasize enough how helpful these groups are, even if the bias tends to be toward stay at home moms (if only because they are the ones who have time to volunteer).

Daycare for two will be only slightly less than twice as much as you were expecting for one, unless you were already planning to hire a nanny or au pair.

Read a twins book or two, but don't obsess over the sections on birth defects: yes, twins are statistically more likely to have problems, but it's not like the chances are very high still. That being said, take pregnancy easy and eat well.

Twins can be very, very stressful. It helps to step back and acknowledge that when you are dealing with the other people in your life.

Good luck. I'm not around much, but I still check PMs occasionally.

Since I just remembered I don't need to give a shit about being outed on this board, I'll uncloak to say "thank you."

i read somewhere that twins are conceived most often when the woman doesn't orgasm. support?

How the hell would I know? Little help: what does it mean when they meow?

A large litter?

Hang in there and deepest sympathies on your loss. I have some idea how you must be feeling. When I lost my parents suddenly (in an accident), many well-meaning people said it would take a year before things felt "normal" again. I don't know about that. But I do know you shouldn't put an artificial time frame on it, or give too much credence to other people's expectations. Let it happen at whatever pace it takes.

There'll be bad moments and they'll come at you out of the blue--even after many months. Embrace them. It's part of the healing process....and time does, eventually, heal all wounds.

Best wishes,

CDF

I always thought meow means we didn't give it enough food or something, like it wanted something else maybe.

In order to make this a valid control, you're gonna have to stop fucking the bejeezus out of your cat. Lent is almost over, but it's never too late to start.

Damn Tests
 

So accroding to one of our kid's teachers, at every school in Massachusetts this last half-semester, it was mandated that one-third of the math grade for her class be based on the following two part test question:

"(a) If you work eight hours and are to be paid $95.76, will you be better off if you ask your boss to round your payment?

(b) If the number is rounded, what would it be rounded to?"

My daughter answered no, and her logic was, no, you are always better off being paid what you earn, neither more nor less. She then answered $95.80 to part 2, rather than $96, since they didn't ask for a rounding to the nearest dollar.

She was marked wrong on both questions.

I know the Republicans who require these tests believe you're better off with more money regardless of how you get it, but you'd think they'd at least have the precision to note what they want to round by.

The teacher said many of her best students didn't get this one, and all explained it the same way when she talked to them.

Damn Tests
 

the problem is that math is hard. we had the same thing in 5th grade math.

Q: a block is 2 inches wide, 3 inches tall and 4 inches deep. What is the area?

she said 12, tallXdepth. The teacher said area is always WideXTall.

Yes, that is always what area means.

Lot's of teachers barely get math so they can't really think through tihngs.

Sorry to bounce it back to union people.

Damn Tests
 

Wouldn't you want the area of all the surfaces? I think you're both wrong. It ought to be 2(2*3)+2(3*4)+2(2*4).

Actually, the teacher understood the explanations and would have thrown out at least part (a) of the question and given credit for any right answer on part (b); but education reform rules mandate that the question not only be used but be a very large part of the grade.

Is Spanky going to come along an blame legislative stupidity on the teachers as well?

Damn Tests
 

math in public education is frustrating until the kid gets to late middle school, then the kid can get in advanced math. then come 11th grade they get blindsiding by the SAT and ACT which assume the 11th grader JUST had trig, and bases math questions on that. Meanwhile all these kids in calculus can't remember that shit.

THEN the kid takes the college math placement and they want to put them into trig.

best thing to do is just not listen.

Damn Tests
 

It's true, but I'm still grading you down for the answer on areas.

I learned trig when I was about 12. My father would take me up to Fort Drum and take me out on the practice range where they would fire the howitzers. If I got the answer right, the broken down jeep out in the field would get blown up. Much better incentive than grades.

Damn Tests
 

This explains so much. I feel like Chazz Palminteri when he suddenly realized who Verbal Kint really was.

Damn Tests
 

Since this isn't the PB board, I'll just ask a factual question: What is the highest elected office held by a Republican in Massachusetts today?

Damn Tests
 

If the kid is taking calc, shouldn't he take the AP and get a score that places him out (or up) in college math?

Damn Tests
 

horrible idea. you blow an easy 3.5 or 4.0 from your freshman GPA. i think AP is just a bad idea. I know kids who took Psych AP in HS. How do you pass on taking Psych at college?

Damn Tests
 

for the last time, I am openly a nuisance sock. I make no bones about it. when i want to convey actual substance I use my notfrommensa sock.

Damn Tests
 

We're hoping this will soon be history given that we've finally taken back the corner office in the state. However, there's still this little bill passed down in Washington a few years ago championing this funny little thing called "standards based education" - you know, standards like charging people more than they owe in the name of "rounding". I forget the guy's name, but I believe he took office when they rounded up his vote in Florida.l

Damn Tests
 

Well that's all well and good, but the states are the ones responsible for developing the tests to comply with NCLB.

Damn Tests
 

Yes, and they have the same kinds of latitude often afforded to states when a federal bureaucracy annually determines whether their implementation has been compliant enough to remain eligible for funds. You've seen similar marketplace effects with speed limits and BAC thresholds.

Federalism!
In the high school halls
In the shopping malls
Conform or be cast out --
Federalism!

Damn Tests
 

you think bush forced Mass. to use an ambiguous math question?