HANDJOBS
 

I worked at Friendly's once, for an hour.

I remember the guy telling me, this is how your supposed to serve salad. Walks down the counter, finds a pair of tongs under some stuff, walks back, uses them to put iceberg lettuce in a bowl. Then, this is how we serve salad. Reaches in with his hand, grabs a handful of lettuce, puts it in the bowl.

i am loath to do this
 

Darling, it was your mind that created that scenario and is nauseated by it. I'm sorry, but I will not take responsibility for alleviating your discomfort.

And you know what really turns my stomach, besides posts about fecal coliform bacteria? Substituting "yours truly" for "me."

i am loath to do this
 

Would myself work for you?

i am loath to do this
 

To ask you be a bridesmaid?

HANDJOBS
 

It's surprisingly filling.

FOR THOSE WHO ARE PLANNING WEDDINGS...And a NEW QUESTION re: Iraq
 

I'd open with "So, I'm glad you're not dead or maimed." Then you should blow him. He's bound to be horny.

HANDJOBS
 

I'm sorry -- I couldn't even read the rest of this post, because, obviously, you are pretending to be me. I used to work at Friendly's too!!! (I was a cook AND a waitress.)

Weren't those blue-checkered, polyester uniforms fab?!?

headhunter thank you?
 

The 40K or so they are making off you is enough, trust me.

Was it "E.D." London?

HANDJOBS
 

It's surprisingly filling.

i am loath to do this
 

You really know how to get under my skin, don't you?

FOR THOSE WHO ARE PLANNING WEDDINGS...And a NEW QUESTION re: Iraq
 

Unless, of course he was maimed.

HANDJOBS
 

The Happy Ending gained current popularity due to its use in an episode of the short-lived but quite funny Mind of a Married Man. The show bore no resemblance to reality, but then, what really does?

FOR THOSE WHO ARE PLANNING WEDDINGS...And a NEW QUESTION re: Iraq
 

It would be especially bad if she immediately offered to blow him after expressing Wonk's suggested sentiments and then learned that he'd had his genitals blown off.

(Anybody else remember the Will Ferrell bit?)

Double Pentration, Old School Style
 

Does anyone actually know somebody who's been double penetrated? I'm not talking about blowing a guy while get fucked by another guy... I'm talking about simultaneous pentration of slots A and B, porn style.

I have never even heard of anyone who did this and am honestly curious about whether anyone outside porn stars can work this feat.

HANDJOBS
 

This post is seriously fucked.

1) Mind of married man was the worst hbo show since the dread arliss.

2) i didnt know they killed it. cite please

3) i have heard trhe term far prio to that episode. .

FOR THOSE WHO ARE PLANNING WEDDINGS...And a NEW QUESTION re: Iraq
 

Hence the need for the opening comment. That way, if he discloses a maiming, she can just walk away instead of blowing him.

i am loath to do this
 

Burger, off my corner.

HANDJOBS
 

Apropos of nothing, I love Friendly's. After today, I won't ever order a salad there,* but I love Friendly's. And you cooked there? Wow.

Alas. Too bad you're already married.**

*Uh, has anyone ever actually ordered a salad at Friendly's?

**As am I. But a chick that knows Jane Austen and how to create the art that is Friendly's cuisine? That's a once in a lifetime thing, man.

FOR THOSE WHO ARE PLANNING WEDDINGS...And a NEW QUESTION re: Iraq
 

Be quiet. I am trying to concoct an absurd scenario for the bunny, because otherwise it will surely stay in the range of stupid and mundane.

i am loath to do this
 

Take it up with Hank. RP knows how to get him under her skin.

HANDJOBS
 

What is this Friendly's place of which you speak? I know it's an eating establishment of some sort, but what kind? Fast food? TGIF? Ice cream parlor?

FOR THOSE WHO ARE PLANNING WEDDINGS...And a NEW QUESTION re: Iraq
 

I've been thinking about updating the location on my profile. This works. Thanks.

HANDJOBS
 

I liked it. You didn't. C'est la vie.

It's been two years since the last new episode aired. Call it a hunch.

I'm sure you have, being the old spinster hag that you are. Of course, I noted that it had gained "current" popularity. Like many expressions, it has been through up and down cycles.

Kind of like a friend of mine in DC.

HANDJOBS
 

Get out!* I worked there too. During the blue/white polyeseter checkered dress period. Was going to PM rp with the exciting news, but we appear to have a club forming.

Started as a ice cream scooper (hs bfs approved of the wrist-muscle strengthening that this involves), and later became a waitress.


*accompanied by Elaine-worthy push for effect

Holy rusty metal batman
 

Anyone notice how Hank and bunny are never in the room at the same time?

HANDJOBS
 

My gripe with Married Man was that this ugly troll had this superhot wife with a British accent, yet he was perpetually in angst about wanting to cheat on her. A dude that unattractive should kiss the ground and praise God every day he gets to fuck anything that isn't inflatable or has a graduation ring attached to it.

HANDJOBS
 

Um, sort of all three. It's a sit-down type of joint with fare like a Fridays, (except no liquor) and an Ice cream parlor combined. I think they also do carry-out, but I'm not sure.

I thought these things were everywhere.

( was going to say look it up on MSN, but I decided not to be a wise-ass this time - Yay me!)

HANDJOBS
 

Have to agree. Watching that show and claiming that you can understand married guys is about as absurd as thinking you can understand lesbians by watching the L-Word...

On a totally unrelated topic... last night's Bands Reunited --

S
P
O
I
L
E
R

Extreme's bass player is now an alpaca farmer (kind of like llamas, for those who don't know)... Absolutely hilarious unplanned moment when the host and the bass player are standing by the alpaca pen. Host breaks out a small boombox and starts playing Extreme's sappy song "More Than Words".

Almost immediately, one of the alpacas starts humping another one... Like that hasn't happened to that song before.

Double Pentration, Old School Style
 

Yes, me. Probably the best orgasm ever.

Double Pentration, Old School Style
 

Yup.

HANDJOBS
 

restaurant/ice cream parlor. if you drive on the Mass pike, you can even see a shrub/stone formation of the logo in Wilbraham, MA (its hometown).

all over NY and New England. very tasty sundaes. greasy food.

oh, and of course, cute little high school-aged waitresses and ice cream scoopers.


see friendlys.com for more info (clever url, eh?)

HANDJOBS
 

They're everywhere, provided you live next to the atlantic ocean.

And thank you for your restraint.

Locations
Connecticut
Delaware
Florida
Massachusetts
Maryland
Maine
New Hampshire
New Jersey
New York
North Carolina
Ohio
Pennsylvania
Rhode Island
South Carolina
Virginia
Vermont

Double Pentration, Old School Style
 

In response to question about DP'ing

It's moments like this when I remember why I have been reading this board as long as I have...

HANDJOBS
 

Howard Johnson's, Brigham's, Bailey's. Ice cream parlor with burgers, grilled cheese, etc. I think it's New England plus mid-atlantic. Or think Cracker Barrel with northern charm.

Are they still in business? The one in my hometown had become a starbucks. Now, query the need for a starbucks in the middle of a shopping mall parking lot. But, I guess like Paris Metro Stations, they want one every 500m.

HANDJOBS
 

One of the wisest things I ever heard that wasn't a Grateful Dead lyric was an expression my best friend uses: no matter how gorgeous a woman is, somebody, somewhere, is tired of fucking her.

HANDJOBS
 

Ice cream/casual family type restaurant. http://www.friendlys.com/

HANDJOBS
 

Yeah. Imagine how she feels about the troll.

Double Pentration, Old School Style
 

Embellish, please.

HANDJOBS
 

Who are you, Oil Can Boyd?

[eta: five penskebucks to anyone, other than Ty, who knows the reference]

HANDJOBS
 

Fuck! Ohio's next to the Atlantic Ocean?

I demand better seafood!