Law and Order Guy Has Cancer
 

Misfit.

I just want to sit in his lap
 

I'm thinking about how I'd like to spend my Generic Winter Day Off. I'm also thinking about how nice it would be to sit by a pool and not have people frantic and yelling all around me.
I'm thinking that I'd really like to sit in this Santa's lap. Anyone up for a trip to see Santa?

http://www.beverlycenter.com/scc/image.html?id=1050

Steriods
 

So the Giambis have admitted to taking:
Deca Durabolin - Side effects: Acne; baldness; shrinking of testes; possible prostate cancer risk.

Human growth hormone - Side effects: Thyroid deficiency; acromegaly, a condition marked by growth of hands, feet and head; enlarged heart.

Clomid - Side effects: Headaches, hot flashes. Can exacerbate pituitary gland tumors (which is what Jason had).

Depo-Testosterone - Side effects: Acne; baldness; increased aggressiveness. In men, breast development; in women, lowering of voice, clitoral enlargement.

That last one has some bizarre side effects. And I didn't really notice Jason's breasts. Or the shrunken nads.

Female Viagra
 

NY Times reported today on a hormone patch designed to increase a woman's sex drive. They are seeking FDA approval I believe.

Mrs. Finch is already worried that she's going to wake up one morning and find herself so covered with patches she looks like a Twister board.

Sorry if this info was already posted -- I tried scrolling back but ended up in a swamp of ERISA talk and other stuff so fascinating that I might need a few patches just to recover.

Steriods
 

Thurgreed?

Fringey?

Taxwonk? NotMe?

Female Viagra
 

So she doesn't like to fuck you? Shocking.

I would imagine that the patches are not for use by pregnant women or nursing mothers. Just guessing.

Steriods
 

Um, yeah. I read a book about female bodybuilding once and they all seem to take the last one. Descriptions of changes in their bodies, development of male traits were not pretty. If I recall correctly, they started growing body hair like men too.

Steriods
 

I mentioned (probably a year ago) that HGH enhances vision. Drastically. Hasn't Bonds been known for his eyes the past 3 years? All of the sportswriters who say that steroids can't help you hit a baseball better, only farther, are wrong. HGH can and does help you see the ball better. Seeing the ball better equates to more frequent contact.

Plus, Barry's head is twice the size it was in 1998.

Steriods
 

Trust me -- no fertility drugs for this girl. That's just nutty.

Steriods
 

Yeah, but they have giant clits.

Steriods
 

<click.>

TM

Female Viagra
 

on a different but tangentally related note, has anyone (this message is for the lay-dees, but men who have second hand knowledge are also welcome to reply) here talked to their doctor about this new periods-only-4-times-per-year pill? I am quite curious about this.

Female Viagra
 

I thought the scuttlebutt on that was that the patches didn't really work. Besides, who needs patches? Some of us just need a hot Santa, or a taut-abbed painter guy.
http://www.qleap.co.uk/acatalog/ASP4401.gif

Steriods
 

Sounds like Bret Boone's weekend bender

Female Viagra
 

You can do this with any regular-dose monophasic pill, I think -- you just skip the placebo pills for three months, and then get your period after 12 weeks (placebo week of 4th month of pills).

I tried this and had significant breakthrough bleeding, and was too busy to go back to the dr to try a different type of pill. Apparently different people react to different formulations differently.

Diff.

Steriods
 

Isn't clomid a fertility drug? It sounds familiar. I think a friend of mine was taking it when she was trying to get pregnant. (She has two kids now...)

Female Viagra
 

Can I comment on how wonderful this would be? Is that okay? B/c that's 8 less times per year that a certain someone hates my guts.

Steriods
 

Yes.

Clomid (clomiphene citrate)

Medical use: Female fertility drug.

Performance-enhancing use: Enhances the effect of testosterone and masks use of steroids on drug tests.

Female Viagra
 

Holy crap!! Just LOOK at that dude! His abs are almost as defined as mine!

Female Viagra
 

Fewer.

And I have heard that you still get the PMS even if you don't get the period.

I will comment that the only time I ever got PMS was when I was on the pill. Went off, and smooth sailing all year round. But that could just be because of my naturally sunny disposition.

Female Viagra
 

Thank you, dear heart. I was hoping someone would correct that, because I'm trying to lessen (ahem -- note correct usage -- sorry I can't help myself) the frequency of my schoolmarmish remarks; however, it was really nagging at me, and had you not done it, I don't think I could have restrained myself much longer.

Female Viagra
 

Hmm. there's some pill that is being marketed for this now. Seasonale or something. I saw an ad for it last night. If it worked, that would be so excellent. Unless those 4 periods were 3x as bad. Then I'd need to weigh the options.

HANK!!!
 

I found you the perfect carpet!! Rush right over to e-bay and bid on it toot sweet.

Is it not redolent of your trademark image?

http://www.ecarpetgallery.com/images/T_521561.jpg

Steriods
 

Why do you have such a hard-on for this guy? You're always on his ass.
Like Sosa and Bonds are just normal guys who bulked up through diet and exercise.

http://nomarsgirl4ever.tripod.com//s.../bretboone.jpg

Female Viagra
 

Thanks. I had forgotten (for a few seconds) this was the Fucking Dork Board. And all of you Timmies are vice-presidents...Sheesh.

To all of you VPs: thanks for taking the fun out of this board. Well done. I used to kick your asses in dodgeball in sixth grade.

Is it fucking Friday yet?

HANK!!!
 

Thank you. Now that I crossed Ron Artest's CD off my Xmas list, I need something new to ask for.

Female Viagra
 

No, no. We are all co-presidents (except you).

Is there any other kind of Friday? And in Australia -- yes.



et fix code

Steriods
 

What a lovely tripod logo.

Steriods
 

Not to steal Slave's thunder, but I'm pretty sure it has been me who has hounded Brestosterone Boone on the FB. Or perhaps it has been both of us.

Statistically, Boone's numbers are way out of whack.

Female Viagra
 

Is Fucking Friday the first Friday of every month or the second? I forget.

Female Viagra
 

I think fucking Friday coincides with Breasticle Day in odd-numbered years.

Steriods
 

I.


et note: Wow -- a real Coltrane pile-on! Let's keep the rubbernecking to a minimum.

Female Viagra
 

It would have been the 17th this month, but I'm pretty sure period issues fucked that up.

TM

Steriods
 

Goddamnit...I hate the fact that that was pretty funny.

Female Viagra
 

Hmm. When you were in 6th grade, I think I was 25. This is not saying anything one way or another about age - just that in all likelihood, I don't think you were kicking my grammar-loving ass at that time.

Female Viagra
 

You're 41?

Female Viagra
 

Hey, I'm working on that.

Steriods
 

I like the sound of this.

Female Viagra
 

In Canadian years, yes.

Yankee Schadenfreude Haiku
 

Does he throw staplers?
http://www.filmmonthly.com/Video/Art...ace/Milton.jpg

(Sorry, between the posts on the Staples auction and the pictures from Office Space I'm picturing Milton in a Yankee uniform, sitting on the bench in the bull pen rocking back and forth like Terry Francona)