Poll: Poem
 

Do I really need to answer this?


Although I suppose maybe middle-school English is more my true calling...

Nah. English professor it is.

whatever
 

You're right. I do post here b/c I'm bored. It is a welcome distraction from my somewhat mundane job. I never once said I was cooler than everyone else here. That's b/c I don't care either way. I don't give a shit. I don't understand why that's so hard to believe. Why should I care?

I'm sorry I don't. I think we may be in the minority, but I think there are others like me who take everything here with a grain of salt, a smirk or a shrug. I'm here for pure entertainment. If that involves bitch-slapping some insecure psycho who has played the same gig for months, than so be it. It's fun. Feel free to bitch slap me back. I know there are plenty of times I deserve it. But I don't take offense to any posts. Why should I? No one knows me personally. I'm here to entertain myself. If I find an argument or debate entertaining, I'll engage. If I happen to (on the rare occasion) entertain someone else, well that's just gravy.

Poll: Poem
 

I don't think I'll get any extra credit, and my favorite poem changes every so often, but here's my current lov-ah (I had to weave some kind of sexual innuendo in somehow!):

If I were loved, as I desire to be,
What is there in the great sphere of the earth,
And range of evil between death and birth,
That I should fear,--if I were loved by thee?
All the inner, all the outer world of pain
Clear Love would pierce and cleave, if thou wert mine
As I have heard that, somewhere in the main,
Fresh-water springs come up through bitter brine.
'T were joy, not fear, claspt hand-in-hand with thee,
To wait for death--mute--careless of all ills,
Apart upon a mountain, tho' the surge
Of some new deluge from a thousand hills
Flung leagues of roaring foam into the gorge
Below us, as far on as eye could see.

Bitch pretty please.
 

When I first read the original post -- I thought, "What's a diety? Someone on a diet?" then I realized it was a typo -- but I resisted the urge to correct it.

I'm masquerading as a pagan so I have to give something up for lent.

Going for the triple-post-score
 

I thought the fourth line was "As he wiped off his chin" -- I suppose either works.

I'm going to be embarrased if this is a 4-play, but...
 

I cannot help but be reminded of the classic film "Groundhog Day" when he recites a few lines from a French poem (and dammit, but I can't remember the poem) after goofing up the day before and remarking what a "waste of time" it was to major in French poetry.

This, my dear Thurgreed, is an example of injudicious callback.
 

This reminds me of the time we were dining at Le Moulin de Ponceau in Chartres, and Michael asked for "la pâtisserie a formé comme un cygne," and the waiter nearly fell into the millstream from laughing, because what he had actually said was "formé comme une singe." Oh, how we laughed!

Good times, good times.

Light as the Breeze, L. Cohen
 

Same here. My favorite snippet is from "Everybody knows"

Everybody knows that you love me baby
Everybody knows that you really do
Everybody knows that you've been faithful
Ah give or take a night or two
Everybody knows you've been discreet
But there were so many people you just had to meet
Without your clothes
And everybody knows

Not my favorite song (that is Sisters of Mercy), but I love that part of the song. Full lyrics here
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/leona...bodyknows.html

This, my dear Thurgreed, is an example of injudicious callback.
 

Oh mon Dieu! Has *everyone* had this same experience! For me it was in Lyons, and the part of Michael was played by doe-eyed maiden named Heather, but the story is otherwise spot on!

This, my dear Thurgreed, is an example of injudicious callback.
 

Fuck. I'm sorry I even brought it up.* Why does it always have to come back to Flinty?

*I still think it's a great poem, and almost makes the four fucking years I spent in French class worth it. Almost, but not quite. And even though she doesn't deserve it, I am putting this in a footnote just to piss off Paigow. And Thurgreed, since by doing so I'm simply repeating a not-funny insider joke that has been beaten to death.

up to snuff
 

Thanks for outing me, assclam.

whatever
 

Ah. I see. Whatever.

The point is, maybe no one knows you personally. But guess what? You're not the only person here. A lot of the people on this board know each other outside of this board. So don't act like everyone here is cloaked under a complete shroud of anonimity. People have moved with this board since it started. Maybe you were there for a couple of those moves, maybe not. During all that time, you have opportunities to meet people. So the board starts off as something to do as a lark and then you get to know each other. And here we are.

I'm not saying this to be fb cool. I'm saying this to show you that this place isn't made up of a bunch of strangers. The simple fact that we left infirmation and started our place (thanks leagle) should have clued you into the fact that people do give a shit about this place.

We try to police morons like Not Me and other stupid socks from ruining this place. Every once in awhile someone else kicks me (or whoever) in the ass when we're perpetuating a conversation or argument that no one else has interest in.* Every once in awhile, I tell people to stop being cloned sheep and to be funny or interesting. Surprise!

It is in all of our interests to keep this place interesting. Hell, we lost plenty of cool posters already because they got sick of it. If you want to have fun and be entertained, cool. But, if you don't care about the quality of what gets posted, fuck off.

TM

* Yeah, I know.

Fuck you Starbucks
 

Because you've become such a scary bitch, that's why.

Another death pool close call
 

John Randolph dead at 88 - http://www.cnn.com/2004/SHOWBIZ/Movi....ap/index.html

I don't believe anyone picked him. Don't pick him now.

this post is purely to entertain Abba
 

"It" being a particularly large dildo?

Dear Abby
 

Which FBer sent this in to her?

DEAR ABBY: I have a most embarrassing problem. My job requires me to make public appearances, and often I am "dressed to the nines." I admit, for dramatic purposes, I sometimes apply too much makeup. I have always been told I am beautiful, and I have even done some modeling.
Here's the dilemma: People think I am a man. Once I was cornered at a festival by an angry group of people who had been fired up by one drunkard's insistence that I was a drag queen. (Abby, I have children and I am definitely female.)

The first few times it happened, I tried to brush it off and regain my composure -- once I stopped crying. But lately, it is getting ridiculous. I am mistaken for a cross-dresser even when I wear very little makeup. At 5-foot-7 and 120 pounds, I'm hardly manly. A week doesn't go by without this happening.

My boyfriend says I should blow it off -- that people are jealous. My self-confidence is in the cellar and I'm at my wit's end. I have struggled with severe depression my whole life, and this isn't helping. A lot of the time I'd like to cower somewhere, but my job won't let me. Help! -- CRYING IN PHOENIX

DEAR CRYING: It's difficult to give you an answer sight unseen, but let's analyze this. Drag queens are often known for their flawless makeup and their flamboyant manner of dress. Could this be a description of you? If the answer is "maybe" -- then it's time for a fashion and image makeover.

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/

Bitch pretty please.
 

Hey, Skinny. Your Moms, who's fatter than me, but not by much called. She said to step off.

Am I doing this right? And if so, will Paigow start calling me Greatfuck again?

Dear Abby
 

I don't know if she lurks or posts here, but I think that chick works in my office.

up to snuff
 

"Assclam" is my new favorite word. By the end of the weekend, it will be my wife's least favorite word, and my three-year-old's most favorite word of all time.

Poll: Poem
 

There was a young lad from Nantucket....

Poll: Poem
 

Read then post, wonk. You are trailing even ABBA.

Cake or death
 

Is this her?

http://images.google.com/images?q=tb...izzard_150.jpg

Christopher Hitchens rips Mel Gibson a new asshole, a phrase I use intentionally. This makes the movie sound not only vile, but dangerous. Yuck. Before I was inclined to stay away out of distaste, but this makes me want to deny Gibson my money, too.

Speed or death
 

I think this might be

http://cache.eonline.com/Gossip/Fash...ove.021003.jpg

Speed or death
 

Couldn't be. I wouldn't exactly call that being dressed to the nines. More like gutter wear.

Darwin Award contender takes the Darwinism part a little too seriously. {Spree: Safe for work. No NSFW pics, but text is not for the squeamish.}

In other weird news, this 17-year-old is pleading guilty to attempted deliberate homicide for trying to mow down a jogger so he could have sex with her corpse. Can't really blame him for pleading out, since in Montana the public defenders are all completely fucking crazy. {Both are just news articles.}

And in still other news, Shakespeare and Gertrude Stein wouldn't get into Vassar, but Ted Kaczynski can write his own ticket to the Ivy League. {Sour grapes by the principals of The Princeton Review, courtesy of The Atlantic.}


[oops. meant to quote not edit. either that or I'm figuring out how to abuse my authority here. ncs]

For those you keeping score at home, that's one up and two down for Montana. Oro y plata.

Poem Poll
 

We kissed beneath a streetlight
Its harsh light projecting our transgression
Your lips like petals soft and pink
Your mouth redolent
Of red wine chocolate and cigarettes
And so we slipped

um, so, if he were a celebrity, he would NOT have been eligible for a wild card pick.

sounds like the plot to a disney movie with the cage escape by the critters, but then it takes a sudden turn away from most Disney movies...

Going for the triple-post-score
 

Actually, the line is "As he licked off his chin."

Poll: Poem
 

Hey, they don't call it wonking for nothing. Assclam.

This, my dear Thurgreed, is an example of injudicious callback.
 

Hey buddy, leave me the fuck out of this one. I'm just going to sit here and be quiet, lest somebody take offense at my boring posts. Oops, too late.

Starbucks Caffiene Dosage
 

Originally posted by pony_trekker

Holy shit, a Starbucks grande has as much caffiene as TEN cans of Mountain Dew.

Fuck you Starbucks
 

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan

Because we like to be dominated.

Copulative verbs
 

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick

It's no surprise that a maple flavored slut knows about copulative verbs. Yes, their predicates take the nominative case.

whatever
 

I don't even know who you are anymore.

You would be one harsh CEO Atticus, all they did was have a beer or two after dodging a meeting:
.
and a little anatomy study:
If a prosecutor can't have an occasional beer, and take a look at the porno ffrom time to time how they going to sell the long hour/low pay?

Bitch pretty please.
 

Everyone needs to watch out. This could become a case of standard office Darwinism. Once someone starts challenging management, management co-opts/promotes them. I give it a week or two and Thurgreed will be a moderator.

Bitch pretty please.
 

Step off fool!

This, my dear Thurgreed, is an example of injudicious callback.
 

Was this in the last year? An american saying that in France nowadays could really start a fight, especially if that WAG Michael follows up with his
vous savez, un singe de reddition
comedy bit.