The Real Reason Women Hate Plastic Surgery (Goddamnit, Say What You Really Mean)
 

I'm in that sort of a mood I guess.

You'll please pardon my language as I explain.

I am surprised you have not heard it before. The first time I ever heard it was from a drag queen, and she was saying it to another drag queen. And basically it meant, don't be a stupid, silly queer.

It did tickle my funny bone when ABBA used it, it really is the perfect way to tell someone he or she is an utter moron, but in a loving kind of way. Sort of like when I tell another lesbian not to be such a dyke. Or a gay man not to be such a silly fag. It is also a phrase straight people can use though without being accused of using language inappropriately (since as we all know as a lesbian it is ok for me to say things to another lesbian or about myself that you cannot say, unless you are Slave who gets to call me a Dyke.)

And yes, you need to use the comma. It has to be

Bitch, please.

So no, no one will think you know me if you use it, even though you do know me...how strange...but they might think you are a fag hag.

The Real Reason Women Hate Plastic Surgery (Goddamnit, Say What You Really Mean)
 

Or that you know black people.

The Real Reason Women Hate Plastic Surgery (Goddamnit, Say What You Really Mean)
 

We need straight talk like this. You never hear anyone saying "Don't be such a hetero", but you should. Many people need to stop being such damned heteros.

For the cat people, from OddTodd
 

"The best time to shave a cat's nose is immediately after bathing. With the cat wrapped in a towel and happy to be over the ordeal of a bath, the nose shaving is usually an anticlimax and can be done very quickly with the cat raising no objection."

Um, right.

"Hibitane - in case the nose is nicked while shaving. Of course, it also comes in useful if dealing with an unpredictable cat who bites the hand that shaves him, then the Hibitane would be applied to the bitten hand."

Personally, I would not say that a just-bathed cat being held immobile enough to shave its teeny shoved-in nose with a bic razor would be "unpredictable" for biting the hand that was shaving it.

http://www.missionhillpersians.com/shaving.htm

The Real Reason Women Hate Plastic Surgery (Goddamnit, Say What You Really Mean)
 

That too.

Or maybe that she sees dead people.

The Real Reason Women Hate Plastic Surgery (Goddamnit, Say What You Really Mean)
 

Sarcasm. It's not on the LSAT.

The Real Reason Women Hate Plastic Surgery (Goddamnit, Say What You Really Mean)
 

I say it, but for some reason, the straight people never laugh.

No sense of humor.

Damn breeders.

And cause I am posting way too much and don't want to make yet another post, in regard to TM's post below, excellent point.

pointless
 

Except that the people who are pirating songs off of the web by file sharing don't burn those songs onto cds (or won't in the very near future). IPOD.

TM

Last Comic Standing
 

Final five last night

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Didn't it seem like they pulled the crowd out of the street again?

It was spotty. I got bored during Ralphie's rant, and I've seen him do better. Repeating the same thing over and over and over lost it's funniness at the third over. There was definite funniness in there, but it got lost in the rant.

I've seen Dat too many times and I've also seen him do better. He spent too much time on the Vietnam War, and his mom is losing her appeal. Had he not had to go up twice already, he probably would have done better if he had been able to use more of the material that he had used during the challenges.

Tess was great. She was consistant, her routine flowed well, and she made me laugh. The thong joke had me rolling, and she's a natural. I'm not surprised that she's been so calm throughout this whole thing.

Rich Vos was also a bit spotty. I'd never seen him perform before, and he seemed to be all over the place. Someone last week was talking about not wanting him to go up because he was rusty, and I can see why they were concerned. He's a funny guy, and i liked most of his act, but I wasn't overwhelmed with the total package.

Cory did well. I didn't realize that I liked her as a comic, but I think she was very strong, and very funny. She's fairly typical, but she pulls it together well, and she was very well packaged.

If I had to guess, I'd say that Tess and Cory will be getting the top votes, but I wouldn't count Ralphie out of the running. He's extraordinarily popular. Dat may get some sympathy votes, because the people voting have seen the crap he's gone through, but his annoyingness IRL will counter the sympathy votes. I'm not seeing Rich as having much of a chance here.

Metrosexuality, again
 

Now even frickin' Microsoft has jumped on the bandwagon:

http://content.health.msn.com/conten...e/71/81366.htm

Now all that needs to happen is for Madonna to do a song about it, and the misery will be complete.

There has *got* to be another way to describe gentlemen who assiduously attend to their back-and-ear thatch....

FLoM II
 

Watched it on Tivo last night. Erin and her trials and tribulations don't seem to hold the interest as well as cardboard-cutout Rob did. I think it isn't as interesting b/c she knows the secret. So all of her thoughts are about "I think he would pick me over the $ because..."

Str8, in response to your Wade=Ben Affleck statement yesterday, I give you Wade=Chris Isaak.

Who cares about any of these guys?

Last Comic Standing
 

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I was disappointed in all of their acts. Tess and Cory were the funniest of the bunch -- but that isn't saying much. Ralphie was bad -- there were very uncomfortably unfunny moments in his act. Disappointing from someone who is usually, rofl funny.

Shockingly, Rich had some funny bits --I don't like his stuff, but he made me laugh a couple of times last night. I think Rich is definitely the frontrunner because the show conditioned people to think he is the proto-typical stand-up. (Plus, I am sure other people recognized him from earlier performances, as I did.)

I haven't voted yet online, but I think I'll cast my votes for Tess or Cory.

Last Comic Standing
 

FUCK! I forgot this was on last night. I am not reading your post bc they rerun it on bravo or com central. was it the finale?

And congrats on your personal K.

Last Comic Standing
 

Thank you.

I'd like to thank all the people who made this possible . . . our mods, SD and his misogyny; Thurgreed and his porn needs; Atticus and his motto issues; you and your classy rants; our own indie rockers NCS, Jack, Str8 and the Flower; and PJ, Burger, AdL and the rest of the bike junkies.

I'd also like to give big ups to the kids from the Poker table, for holding it down.

Even(peace out)Odds

The Real Reason Women Hate Plastic Surgery (Truth Takes a Holiday)
 

I just know I'm going to regret this, but I just can't help it....

Are you saying that the LFB body is "perfect"? Ugh. That IS bullshit. She is seriously sick. Anorexia is not a joke, my friend. Lest you think I am speaking out of insecurity -- ask someone who has seen me in real life if they think I have any reason to be "insecure" about my looks (not that it should matter -- but it seems to matter to you). "Ripping" on the altered is not the same thing as "ripping" on people with trainers; and not all rippings on the altered are created equal.

Not all motivations for cosmetic surgery are the same. There are plenty of people (not just women) who just can't stop with the plastic surgery and do it because they think that "just one more" will finally make them "perfect" and they will finally be happy. That is indeed sad. Then again, there are people who are just really unhappy about their nose (or whatever) and they get it altered, are happy with the results, and don't think about it again, and get on with their lives. To them, I say -- good on 'ya! But to pretend that people get cosmetic surgery only for that reason is foolish -- but I'm not sure anyone is saying that.

While surely some people criticize [fake boobs -- insert cosmetic surgery of choice here] out of insecurity/anxiety/frustration at the unfairness of the perception (reality?) that the ideal is one that can be reached only by cosmetic enhancement, I doubt MOST people (your words -- see above) criticize on those bases.

My personal view? Implants of the Anna-Nicole variety are really icky. Do I think this because I have some insecurity and a secret desire to have freakishly large boobs? Uh, no. Do I think Anna-Nicole should be prohibited from altering herself however she wants? No indeed. But to suggest that MOST people who think that those kinds of freakish alterations (or serial plastic surgery patients) are kind of gross and/or sad think so out of insecurity is wishful thinking (or projection).

Sure, I can admit, I wish I had all day to devote to making my body like Madonna's, but I don't -- whatever. Doesn't mean I'm insecure because... [I don't even know what you would say here to twist this into 'dtb is really insecure', but imagine it here.]

Physician, heal thyself.

I think you would find consensus on the question of your not being 100% correct -- but just how far below 100%, I think you would find a lot of disagreement. And you are correct, sir [Ed McMahon voice]!! You can't include me in the "you all know" -- I certainly don't concede that you are even close to 100% correct (more like 20% maybe -- nothing close to "pretty much correct").

Well, DUH!