LawTalkers - Fashion Board 1-08-04 through 02-03-04

Originally posted by ThrashersFan
http://www.foxnews.com/images/114639...pink_pepsi.jpg

Pink, Britney and Beyonce play gladiators to Enrique Iglesias' evil Roman emperor in new Pepsi commerical.

Pink and Beyonce are no longer on speaking terms. I'm sure that saddens Beyonce to no end.

Pink and Beyoncé are battling it out. The bootylicious star wore fur to the London premiere of a Pepsi commercial which stars the two, along with Britney Spears. Pink, a staunch animal rights activist, became furious with Beyoncé, according to reports, and is now refusing to speak with her.
pepsi sucks anyway

purse junkie

01-29-2004 02:38 PM

Fashion news

Quote:

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
aphorisms are the way to go today. I'm sure we all have our favorites.

You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.

Of course.

taxwonk

01-29-2004 02:38 PM

Folk Wisdom

Quote:

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
Actually, maybe aphorisms are the way to go today. I'm sure we all have our favorites.

Mine: "The higher the monkey climbs, the more you see his ass." (sorry Flinty)

Anyone else?

Never try and teach a pig to sing. You waste your time and you annoy the pig.

robustpuppy

01-29-2004 02:39 PM

Folk Wisdom

Quote:

Originally posted by taxwonk
Never try and teach a pig to sing. You waste your time and you annoy the pig.

I thought your favorite was, "no matter how gorgeous the woman, someone, somewhere, is tired of fucking her."

bold_n_brazen

01-29-2004 02:40 PM

Fashion news

Quote:

Originally posted by dtb
Hard to improve upon advice extraordiaire, I would only note that there is an aphorism for the above-bolded language. The unfortunate part is that I can't remember it exactly, but I'm sure Atticus or someone will know the exact wording (and etymology -- but please, Atticus (or proxy thereof), restrain yourself).

It's something like "Mutton trying to be lamb."

Anyone? Bueller?

I had a British boss who used to say "Mutton in lamb's clothing".

purse junkie

01-29-2004 02:40 PM

This sells pop?

Quote:

Originally posted by NotFromHere
Pink and Beyonce are no longer on speaking terms. I'm sure that saddens Beyonce to no end.

Pink and Beyoncé are battling it out. The bootylicious star wore fur to the London premiere of a Pepsi commercial which stars the two, along with Britney Spears. Pink, a staunch animal rights activist, became furious with Beyoncé, according to reports, and is now refusing to speak with her.
pepsi sucks anyway

So those hideous tacky shiny bondage outfits she wears are not only hideous, tacky, and shiny, but vinyl as well?

She's batting a thousand.

bold_n_brazen

01-29-2004 02:42 PM

Folk Wisdom

Quote:

Originally posted by taxwonk
Never try and teach a pig to sing. You waste your time and you annoy the pig.

If your grandmother had wheels, she'd be a trolley car.

My grandfather used to say this. I still ahve no idea what he meant.

Alex_de_Large

01-29-2004 02:43 PM

Fashion news

Quote:

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
The sleeping shrimp is carried away by the stream.

I have no idea what this means.

"A sperm whale left to wait will explode."

I have no idea what this means either, but I have found a picture to illustrate:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/3...haleafp300.jpg

taxwonk

01-29-2004 02:44 PM

Folk Wisdom

Quote:

Originally posted by robustpuppy
I thought your favorite was, "no matter how gorgeous the woman, someone, somewhere, is tired of fucking her."

No, that's my best friend's favorite. My favorite sex-related chestnut is "Just shut up and fuck me."

Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)

01-29-2004 02:46 PM

Folk Wisdom

Quote:

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
If your grandmother had wheels, she'd be a trolley car.

My grandfather used to say this. I still ahve no idea what he meant.

You're Thurgreed's niece?

taxwonk

01-29-2004 02:47 PM

Folk Wisdom

Quote:

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
If your grandmother had wheels, she'd be a trolley car.

My grandfather used to say this. I still ahve no idea what he meant.

The Yiddish version is: If your bubbe had baytzim, she'd be a zayde. Translation: if granny had balls, she'd be granddad.

I always understood it to mean, never try to teach a pig to sing...

spookyfish

01-29-2004 02:47 PM

Folk Wisdom

Quote:

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
If your grandmother had wheels, she'd be a trolley car.

My grandfather used to say this. I still ahve no idea what he meant.

My grandfather said this too. I think it meant, "Damn, that bitch is fat!"

ETA: Fuck. Too slow on the trigger.

bold_n_brazen

01-29-2004 02:49 PM

Folk Wisdom

Quote:

Originally posted by taxwonk
The Yiddish version is: If your bubbe had baytzim, she'd be a zayde. Translation: if granny had balls, she'd be granddad.

I always understood it to mean, never try to teach a pig to sing...

I called my grandfather Zayde. *sigh* now I'm missing the old fart.

spookyfish

01-29-2004 02:51 PM

Last Spinster Standing

Quote:

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Looks like Cathy is going to settle:

"Milestone" is a bit of an overstatement.

A true milestone would be if she finally grew a fucking nose.

http://www.tonystrading.co.uk/graphi...athy-size5.jpg

Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)

01-29-2004 02:52 PM

Folk Wisdom

Quote:

Originally posted by spookyfish

ETA: Fuck. Too slow on the trigger.

I was taking it to be more like the village bicycle. But only sebby talks that way about his wife.

Shape Shifter

01-29-2004 02:52 PM

Fashion news

Quote:

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
aphorisms

From a motion actually filed in federal court:

"Those who live in houses with fragile crystal roofs should not attempt rock-throwing at their neighbors roofs for their own are likely to be ruined!"

spookyfish

01-29-2004 02:54 PM

Mandy Moore nixes paigow's dream reality show

Quote:

Originally posted by paigowprincess
what an obstreperous twat.

See, bnb how well this works!

Okay Paigow, since you used it, and um, I invented it, how about some of that MOC?

Greedy,Greedy,Greedy

01-29-2004 02:55 PM

Fashion news

Quote:

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
From a motion actually filed in federal court:

"Those who live in houses with fragile crystal roofs should not attempt rock-throwing at their neighbors roofs for their own are likely to be ruined!"

Sounds like that one got run through english:yiddish and yiddish:english translator, maybe with a trip through serbo-croatian on the way.

Dave	01-29-2004 02:57 PM

Double Pentration, Old School Style

Quote:

Originally posted by leagleaze
You feel I need to enhance my reputation on the FB?

Followed by long story about lesbian DP

Next time, I'll remember to use the [Tounge-in-Cheek] and [/TIC] tags, okay? And, besides, you apparently did brighten a few days with your story.

spookyfish

01-29-2004 03:00 PM

Fashion news

Quote:

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
Sounds like that one got run through english:yiddish and yiddish:english translator, maybe with a trip through serbo-croatian on the way.

Funny you should say that. My first thought was that it was drafted by this guy.

http://fusionanomaly.net/kungfuhowdoyounot.jpg

Tyrone Slothrop

01-29-2004 03:00 PM

Rant: My least favorite thing about the laws

Quote:

Originally posted by paigowprincess
and it aint cats who blow shit out of both sides of thier mouths while wowing juries with sagas they think are mostly correct.

Documents with paragraphs that run over a page long without so much as a period or semicolon. god forbid you space out in the middle of it and lose your place. atticus, what is the historical reason for this lack of spacing and punctuation? where were tht timmies?

Defending a large corporation in front of a Yoknapatawhpha County jury is a bitch.

Greedy,Greedy,Greedy

01-29-2004 03:02 PM

Rant: My least favorite thing about the laws

Quote:

Originally posted by Tyrone_Slothrop
Defending a large corporation in front of a Yoknapatawhpha County jury is a bitch.

POTM, early candidate

Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)

01-29-2004 03:03 PM

Rant: My least favorite thing about the laws

Quote:

Originally posted by Tyrone_Slothrop
Defending a large corporation in front of a Yoknapatawhpha County jury is a bitch.

Perhaps you'll be able to put paigow's page-long sentence to use.

Anything That Moves

01-29-2004 03:06 PM

Fashion news

Quote:

Originally posted by my ltl eclair
Grandfather? So, when you were going through his belongings after he passed, did you determine what size ball gag he liked used on him while the giant dildo was being thrust up his ass?

Sweetums, I thought that you weren't going to discuss our ltl pegging episodes in public anymore. You know how shy I am.

And moving to a new board without telling me? Is this [sniff] your way of telling me it's over? Sigh. No matter what, we'll always have Paris (Texas) ... or was it Midland? Plano? Lubbock?

Tyrone Slothrop

01-29-2004 03:07 PM

This sells pop?

Quote:

I am not on speaking terms with either Pink or Beyonce, but now I'm wondering if I can use this rift between them to get on speaking terms with one of them.

Alex_de_Large

01-29-2004 03:09 PM

Paging RT

Today's Sports Guy blog entry makes a crack about getting splattered by Light Rail in Houston. I thought of you, of course.

Hank Chinaski

01-29-2004 03:13 PM

This sells pop?

Quote:

Originally posted by Tyrone_Slothrop
I am not on speaking terms with either Pink or Beyonce, but now I'm wondering if I can use this rift between them to get on speaking terms with one of them.

When you're trying to decide which to go for, keep this in mind:
Pink, on Howard Stern was bragging about having dated her current boyfriend for, at that time, 5 months w/o giving up the pink, as it were.

Aloha Mr. Learned Hand

01-29-2004 03:16 PM

Fashion news

Quote:

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
"A sperm whale left to wait will explode."

I have no idea what this means either, but I have found a picture to illustrate:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/3...haleafp300.jpg

I heard about this too.

Just goes to show that if you play around with your sperm (whale) you might get a 50 ton explosion of sperm (whale) all over everybody. And a lot of ladies don't like to get a big old shot of sperm (whale) in the face because the sperm (whale) gets in their eyes and stings. And good luck getting her to swallow your sperm (whale) after that, I tell you!

Replaced_Texan

01-29-2004 03:17 PM

Paging RT

Quote:

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
Today's Sports Guy blog entry makes a crack about getting splattered by Light Rail in Houston. I thought of you, of course.

I sadly note that it was the light rail, and not the description of the women of Houston that reminded you of me...

Greedy,Greedy,Greedy

01-29-2004 03:20 PM

For more details

Sperm Whale Explosion Story and Photo

taxwonk

01-29-2004 03:23 PM

FB Reading List

I am recommending this for siblings of new brothers and sisters these days. It really helps the little beggars get used to the new addition.

http://www.bobfromaccounting.com/chi...enreplaced.jpg

Replaced_Texan

01-29-2004 03:24 PM

For more details

Quote:

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
Sperm Whale Explosion Story and Photo

This happens every time people try to fuck around with dead whales: whale parts end up all over the place. Do the people of Taiwan not read
Dave Berry?

spookyfish

01-29-2004 03:25 PM

Fashion news

Quote:

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
re: ass thrusting,

Marquis de Sade. . . could not get himself off without the aid of an 8-inch diameter dildo inserted in his ass.

Apropos of nothing, I'm thinking that if it hasn't happened already, there will soon be a porn film entitled Weapons of Ass Destruction

Aloha Mr. Learned Hand

01-29-2004 03:29 PM

Fashion news

Quote:

Originally posted by spookyfish
Apropos of nothing, I'm thinking that if it hasn't happened already, there will soon be a porn film entitled Weapons of Ass Destruction

There already is, and a sequel too.

Alex_de_Large

01-29-2004 03:31 PM

Paging RT

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
I sadly note that it was the light rail, and not the description of the women of Houston that reminded you of me...

Unless you can confirm that you were one of the lovlies who revealed herself on Breasticle day, that's all I have to go by, darling.

spookyfish

01-29-2004 03:34 PM

Fashion news

Quote:

Originally posted by Aloha Mr. Learned Hand
There already is, and a sequel too.

Wow. Who would have guessed someone from this board would know that?

ltl/fb

01-29-2004 03:36 PM

Fashion news

Quote:

Originally posted by Anything That Moves
Sweetums, I thought that you weren't going to discuss our ltl pegging episodes in public anymore. You know how shy I am.

And moving to a new board without telling me? Is this [sniff] your way of telling me it's over? Sigh. No matter what, we'll always have Paris (Texas) ... or was it Midland? Plano? Lubbock?

Waco, clown boy. Bend over.

ThurgreedMarshall

01-29-2004 03:46 PM

Hey Fringie

Quote:

Originally posted by leagleaze
You are just jealous that I can please a man simply by recounting experiences of my friends

Isn't that really the only way you'll be pleasing anybody?

TM

ThurgreedMarshall

01-29-2004 03:53 PM

Folk Wisdom

Quote:

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
If your grandmother had wheels, she'd be a trolley car.

My grandfather used to say this. I still ahve no idea what he meant.

Either:

1. She's really fucking fat.

or

2. Anyone can have a ride for a buck fifty.

TM

ThurgreedMarshall

01-29-2004 03:56 PM

Rant: My least favorite thing about the laws

Quote:

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
POTM, early candidate

It's the 29th.

TM

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