Two things
 

We are. It never hurts to find out about cock activities though.

Two things
 

I peed today. More than once!

JonBenet
 

So, creepy weird dude did not leave any DNA at the crime scene if he actually did the crime. What is the purpose of confessing if he didn't actually do it? Free trip back to US?

http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/i/msnbc/Co...oCase_240p.jpg

I give her an Oh.
 

ixnay. he paid $30 for the rights to that stuff, and now he's pm'ing he wants his money back- meanwhile NotBob has to "reconsider whether the "fringey likes donuts" stuff is worth $50 bucks-

baby needs new shoes Wonk, c'mon now.

JonBenet
 

you now how people keep asking you what the fuck you're thinking, or why you would bother to post such drivel? Well, that means we can't understand insane people. so we can't help with this guy either.

JonBenet
 

Dude, if you want to be an asshole, which is not a stretch for you, just call me a chubby, unattractive liar. All that other stuff seems to be too much work for you.

Two things
 

I was just at starbucks, and some guy handed me a straw. A guy I don't even know. He got me a long one.

ETA does this make me pretty, or fat?

Two things
 

It makes you pretty but only if he tried to make convo with you. did he?

More Stupid Family Tricks
 

I just got off the phone with my sister. Our brother, who I've long thought is a pathological liar, is working with a gym or training facility or something -- I can't tell quite how high level it is, though its own publicity material tries to make it look like the place that will churn out the next generation of star professional atheletes.

Among other things, it describes my brother's sports background, including the professional team he played on and the semi-pro camp where he trained.

Except, none of that stuff actually happened.

Should I laugh, or cry? Should I do either to his face?

(and before you ask, no, I don't really care an enormous amount -- I have very little contact with him. But my sister sees him several times a week, not necessarily by choice, and is afraid that he's going to say something that will just set her off in one direction or another.)

Ah, family. What would we do for laughs with out them?

Two things
 

We were both with other people. But he did look at me longingly. I'm pretty sure it was a copulatory gaze. (search "copulatory" on the page -- it's partway down)

Two things
 

That sounds like spanky's tactic with strippers.

Two things
 

Were you drooling?

More Stupid Family Tricks
 

you'd poke fun at me? have a straw.

Two things
 

No. Is that good or bad? Should I drool next time?

Two things
 

bad. drool he said only when he's wearing beer goggles.

Sugar
 

They didn't give me any sugar for my moccaccino the skim one. I know you aren't supposed to have any in one but I like it.

Two things
 

If you were drooling and he still offered you a straw, then you must be hot.

If you were not drooling, then he may have offered you a straw only because you are female.

Depending on what city you are in, he may have offered you a straw because you needed one and he was close to them. I hear that this doesn't happen in New York, where the only possible reason for a man to offer a woman a straw is an intense, overwhelming desire to fuck her. But in some cities, I think people do this just out of politeness and it's best not to read anything into it. YMMV, of course.

Two things
 

Well, since TM laid down the law from on high with the two tablets and scrolls I'm chubby and floppy boobed so why the heck would he have an overwhelming urge to anything except...bolt? why wait to give me even a straw just run.for.the.hills.

yeah, since I a nasty little troll no one pays attention to me except the playground in my mind. word.

Two things
 

Actually it is a little different. These stares are letting people know you are attracted to them and you are hopeing that they are attracted to you and will let you know. The Stripper already knows I am attracted to them. The stripper has already decided in her mind that I am just another drooling idiot that is there to check out her body and couldn't care less if she has a brain and probably she has absolutely no interest in me. The look into the eyes is to show them I am interested in them, not just their body (which of course is not true), and to separate me from the crowd. Females also are more into eyes than men and seem to appreciate it when they think a guy also thinks eyes are important. Like most things, I have a theory, but I really don't know why it works, I have just figured out it does so I go with it.

Two things
 

How about making a deal. No one on this board will ever discuss how good looking you are, or about your body characteristics, or what other people think of how you look, if you don't. In other words, no comments about the size of your breasts, no comments about what Frank at work said about your looks (or personality), or the looks you get from random people. And then no one else will bring up these topics either. So in other words, how you look and what anyone thinks about how you look (or your personality) will never be discussed again on this board again. Deal?

Two things
 

Since NYC is high octane. I offer u this.

There were no visible straws on the sbux credenza. I need a venti straw which is the big one. [two sizes, people] The guy in question had a tall drink so he needed a *small* one. I asked for a venti straw, but the barista didn't hear me due to the blender. He was young and cute. So he asked the guy for two Large [venti] straws, for both of us even though he needed a small one, gave me the once over, smiled, leaned into me and started chatting about rod stewart or the soundtrack. That was above and beyond. But no amount of protestations will convince y'all so whatever.

Two things
 

I don't make deals with men who bring home strippers. just a personal quirk of mine.

Two things
 

My father, a nearly lifelong Democrat and a Union carpenter by trade, came to believe in his final years that Al D'Amato was the world's greatest living human. His two proudest experiences in the final five years of his life were meeting D'Amato and George (GapKhaki) Pataki and getting a photo of that meeting, and (2) being able to tell his nurses that his daughter worked for Alan Greenspan (note that when the faculties start to go, one of the first things to suffer is the flipness detector).

Al Freakin' D'Amato!!!

Two things
 

So it's not Daniel Moynihan waddya want from me.

Two things
 

That's why you don't have the fancy purse, baloney-tits.

Two things
 

In Penske's case I think it's probably the drinking.

I give her an Oh.
 

Don't be such a dickless weenie. She'd still look great in your bed. Of course, if you're this whipped, she'd clearly look better in mine.

I give her an Oh.
 

50%. You're employed.

Two things
 

I'm not sure, but it definitely means he wants you. Bad.

More Stupid Family Tricks
 

We give straws to fat chicks at Starbucks.

Two things
 

Nice try, Spanky, but we already made this deal. She won't live up to it. On the other hand, it gladdens my heart that we have found common ground on something.

More Stupid Family Tricks
 

Ignore it as if you never knew about it. No good will come of any discussions with him.

Two things
 

OTOH, we all know what a thin straw means.

Two things
 

He's also a big poker player, and his blog is interconnected with my favorite poker blog: http://taopoker.blogspot.com/

Scissoring
 

I happened to read an article about "Flavor of Love" and it talked about how some of the women are "professionals" and mentioned that one Toastee, when she's not busy getting crunk, is partaking online in a porn fetish called "scissoring."

Urban dictionary offers this definition of scissoring.

But then there's this definition of "scissor sex."

Which is Flav's girl doing?

Two things
 

Oh, shit, that's not bad at all... My mother rants like crazy and reads all sorts of right wing junk. She's also developed a belief in alternative medicine over the past two years while becoming steadily more religious (which strikes me as odd, since the organic food crowd ain't usually stridently pro-Jesus).

While my old man stay fairly saucy at the golf course and comes home and rambles about the market and China.

My advice? Drink. When I visit home, we all stay good and plastered... Keeps the disputes to a minimum.

Two things
 

I specified long straw, not thick/wide straw. I think on the whole, the straws at coffee bean are wider/thicker. And purple.

Two things
 

Sometimes I am more inclined to argue with my dad if I've had a bit to drink. Though, fuck, aside from the effect on the kids, what do I care? It's not my friends/in-laws around.

Two things
 

I gotta be honest... It does get kind of depressing at times. It's almost like watching the Costanza parents go at it. It used to be funnier, but sometimes I think "fuck, they drink more than I do."

Two things
 

My mom doesn't drink that much. My sister's in-laws think I'm an alcoholic. I don't think the children understand alcohol yet.

They do bicker. all. the. time.