LawTalkers - Fashion Board 5-7-04 to 6-9-04

Originally posted by mmm3587
The few of you not still trying to recover from 13 Mojitos over the weekend may recall the saga of "Asshole," the incompetent partner who is a big asshole. We finally signed his stupid transaction today. (Interestingly, in an occurence I have NEVER seen in my few/many years of practice, he actually convinced the client to execute some delegation of authority documents so that he could sign the transaction. Like they couldn't just trade signature pages by fax like everybody else does. What an arrogant fucker! ASSHOLE!)

Anyway, he was very gracious and sweet to me about getting everything done, so the ethics partners at my firm must be leaving him alone. As "thanks for all [my] hard work," he gave me two tickets to Rent. Which is a nice gesture. I have actually never seen it, and I was looking forward to it. Until, I realized, and almost fell down laughing when I did, that the tickets are in fucking ATLANTA. ASSHOLE!

I have nothing against Atlanta, but I am not planning to go there for a weekend just to see Rent. I can't believe the gall of this fucker to give me tickets for an event in a different fucking city. ASSHOLE!

ASSHOLE!

And I have two tickets to the Suped Bowl for you . . . Between the Bangladesh Raiders and the Punjabi Vindaloos.

NotFromHere

05-18-2004 03:49 PM

Roy Horn makes public appearance

I know this will channel Montecore in some way, but here goes.

http://images.ibsys.com/2004/0517/3314974_200X150.jpg

Roy Horn made his first public appearance since his October 2003 mauling by a tiger.
Horn had glasses on, wore a short haircut and didn't move his left arm during the interview.

NoMoreSlave

05-18-2004 03:49 PM

mojitos on the house

Quote:

Originally posted by Slave Once Again
Please re-read the memo, the term "past its' sell by date" has become paigow. you of all people should be horrifically aware of this status update.

Mon deux! It is like JRUSS had a cyberbaby with Penske and all I got was this lousy tee shirt.

pony_trekker

05-18-2004 03:50 PM

Shoelace questions

Quote:

Originally posted by mmm3587
I need to buy a bunch of new shoelaces, and I have a few shoelace questions. These may not be as exciting as a bunch of big breast, bookshelf-style racks, but I suppose that you could tie someone up with shoelaces, or lightly touch them to exposed nipples, or something like that. So, bear with me.

First of all, what's the best type of retail establishment at which o buy shoelaces. Shoe repair places don't have them. The places I buy my shoes don't have them. I usually buy them at a Walgreen's-type place, and I just bought some on the internet, but that brings me to my next question.

What are the kind of shoelaces called that have an actual string on the inside, surrounded by a slight cushiony layer on the outside? All my dress shoes come with these types of laces originally, and they're great beceause, even if they're not that strong and durable, they can be tied with minimal tightness, but the compression of the outside layer holds them in place without loosening for a long time.

The only ones I can find are either braided or waxed, and they both suck for staying tied.

Thanks in advance. If it helps, I am looking for a size that would be slightly smaller than the measurement around ABBA's fabulous breasts.

Go to any Allen Edmonds shoe store, where you will probably get them for free if you promis the next shoes you buy are AEs.

OK, I know I am jinxing myself but the AE shoelaces last as long as the shoes. Same with Church's. I have had the same laces on my AEs since 1999 and the same on my Churches since 1995.

ThurgreedMarshall

05-18-2004 03:50 PM

You might be irredeemable white trash if . . .

Quote:

Originally posted by ltl/fb
I'm sure with an appropriate system of reward and punishment, you could teach her to hold her stomach in. Perhaps you could send her to pilates.

Or she could just cut down on the McDonalds. But I don't see how that will help her with her bent grill.

TM

evenodds

05-18-2004 03:51 PM

mojitos on the house

Quote:

Originally posted by NoMoreSlave
Mon deux! It is like JRUSS had a cyberbaby with Penske and all I got was this lousy tee shirt.

So, is this the lame sock action about which I've received complaints?

Hank Chinaski

05-18-2004 03:52 PM

You might be irredeemable white trash if . . .

Quote:

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Or she could just cut down on the McDonalds. But I don't see how that will help her with her bent grill.

TM

All 13 year old girls who are that developed end up 200 lbs. by high school. on the plus side, the weight might soften her features.

pony_trekker

05-18-2004 03:52 PM

Public Service Announcement - Hey, DTB

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I read magazines at the gym while on the running and eliptical and stairmaster machines. Frequently, these cards will fly out of the magazine when I turn a page and float down to the floor nearby. I usually won't pick it up because I don't want to break up my workout. But sometimes somebody else will pick it up and hand it to me or throw it away before I'm done, which makes me feel like a jerk. I will try to stop them before they pick it up by saying "That's mine, I dot it", but some people will still pick it up.

My question is "What's the proper etiquette?" Should I pick each stupid fucking card up as it falls, or is it ok to wait until the end of my 15 min on the machine and then get it? I do try to scan the magazine to get out all these fucking cards before hand, but inevitably, one always remains and manages to fly out.

Forget it I leave 'em there. That's what I pays my 80 a month for.

NoMoreSlave

05-18-2004 03:54 PM

Wednesday is National Slave Day

Quote:

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
Good post, horrible new avatar.

In honor of this stroke of JRUSSIAN Genius, I declare Wednesday National Slave Day. In honor of this day, I propose every one wear an Italian Dinner Suit, a gold chain, and no body hair whatsoever. You should also create a sock that you have a conversation with about how Slave is the boss of this board. Dont forget to get drunk and puke in your office recycling bin.

Cheers!

LessinSF

05-18-2004 03:55 PM

Roy Horn makes public appearance

Quote:

Originally posted by NotFromHere
I know this will channel Montecore in some way, but here goes.

http://images.ibsys.com/2004/0517/3314974_200X150.jpg

Roy Horn made his first public appearance since his October 2003 mauling by a tiger.
Horn had glasses on, wore a short haircut and didn't move his left arm during the interview.

Just in time to watch the new NBC animated television show based on the tigers - http://www.nbc.com/nbc/Primetime_Pre...therofthepride . Presumably, the residuals from the "very special episode" showing his mauling will be dedicated to his reconstructive surgery.

pony_trekker

05-18-2004 03:56 PM

You might be irredeemable white trash if . . .

Quote:

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Or she could just cut down on the McDonalds. But I don't see how that will help her with her bent grill.

TM

I actually love the bent grill. I guess I will just have to flip her over so the beer belly doesn't get in the way.

Alex_de_Large

05-18-2004 03:59 PM

Public Service Announcement - Hey, DTB

Quote:

Originally posted by AnotherSarcasticSock
If you really want the shit to taste great, you should add some corn.

MR

I knew there was a scat joke in there somewhere...

Alex_de_Large

05-18-2004 04:00 PM

Public Service Announcement - Hey, DTB

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Nah, lately its just been a glass of Stoli Vanilla.

AdL - You're right. That stuff is great. I can down that straight on the rocks like candy. And the 70 proof is nice. Its a little easier than dealing with the 90 proof Maker's Mark shuttle I've been on for the past few years.

That's been my weapon of choice for a few years now. Never fails.

slavio

05-18-2004 04:00 PM

r-e-s-p-e-c-t

Quote:

Originally posted by evenodds
So, is this the lame sock action about which I've received complaints?

Right on e/o! these socks, always with the scenarios. and now attacks on a made admin.

My friends, you don't talk that way about Slave!

SlaveNoMore

05-18-2004 04:03 PM

Wednesday is National Slave Day

Quote:

NoMoreSlave
In honor of this stroke of JRUSSIAN Genius, I declare Wednesday National Slave Day. In honor of this day, I propose every one wear an Italian Dinner Suit, a gold chain, and no body hair whatsoever. You should also create a sock that you have a conversation with about how Slave is the boss of this board. Dont forget to get drunk and puke in your office recycling bin.

Cheers!

Notwithstanding the fact that I've never owned a gold chain...

I like it. National Slave Day. It could become a latter-day "Cinco de Mayo" with everyone getting laid and drinking Scotch drinks.

BTW JSOCK, are you placing any action on that 8 month over/under?

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