PETE ROSE
 

Thank you dear sweet leagle. How about I just stick with "Pete didn't really bet on baseball and he didn't lie about it but he is lying now because he has to in order to placate the Commissioner and try to get into the HoF before the decision is left up to those veterans who are obviously just jealous of him."

I believe in Santa, I believe in Santa...

PETE ROSE
 

Baseball fanatics are always going on and on about "the game" --- as if this elevates it from a sport or hobby or pastime. They gave every Commissioner before Selig the power to act autocratically in defense of some etherial standard called "the best interest of baseball." How would it ever be in the best interest of baseball to impose ostracism on a player for damaging the integrity of the game, only to later agree with his supporters that his playing merit gives him a right to be honored?

Punishment for misconduct means nothing if it is overridden by performance on the field.

PETE ROSE
 

I believe this calls for another Joe Morgan impression. Was it Ty or TM?

How I learned to stop procrastinating and love the law
 

Sure but we're going to have to tinker with font size on the menu. Too many people thought they were ordering breaded clams. Should be ready for rollout by then, though.

PETE ROSE
 

Nobody freaking goes to Cooperstown anyway. It's too far from anywhere.

Rose is not the greatest hitter. He has the most base hits in the regular season of the north american major leagues, but he's not the greatest hitter ever. Using the "I'm down to one out, runners on first and second, down by one run, who do I want up at the plate," I'd go with:

1. Ruth
2. Williams
3. Bonds
(a lot of other people, including Hank Aaron, Lou Gehrig, Willie Mays, Canseco in his prime, Amos Otis)
Rose comes somewhere fairly far down the list

Kayaking
 

Kayaking is one of the ways junior varsity hockey players celebrate after making a goal. As described by Fugee Nephew #2, one builds up speed then drops to the knees and slides, pretending to paddle a kayak with the hockey stick. I am also told this is done in neighborhood broomball games though it is difficult to build up as much speed on foot.

So I assumed ABBA was scoring a lot and celebrating.

Whether or not she was actually on the ice.

PETE ROSE
 

Please mention this to Randy Moss for us.

PETE ROSE
 

Hey, whatever floats your boat babe. You know I'm here for you.

PETE ROSE
 

Stop smoking that shit.

He called other managers to ask them how he thought their pitchers looked that night. I'm sure he bet on teams other than the Reds using this information. That is a betrayal of your friends as well as a failure to uphold the integrity of the game.

And I bet he bet on games when he was a player too. The guy was a scumbag. I wouldn't have a problem if they allowed him to be voted on for the hall (and he might not even make it if they do), but he shouldn't be allowed in a ballpark and I don't want to hear his induction speech as it will be the biggest, steamiest, piece of crap in the history of the world.

Did you see his interview last night? He feels like he was wronged even though he fucking signed an agreement saying he agreed to be banned and that he couldn't be involved. He wasn't supposed to confirm or deny and he spent the next 14 years denying it to anyone who would put a microphone in his face. He should be permanently banned for just that.

Fuck him.

TM

How I learned to stop procrastinating and love the law
 

You might want to update the menu. Who eats bearded clams anymore?

How I learned to stop procrastinating and love the law
 

And for even more money, he might do said jacking off on live television for all to see. But, if I recall correctly, it would take a fair amount of money. The tv part, that is. You might get the 10 times part fairly cheaply, but I can't be sure. He's one complicated cat.

Ollie (that cat's something I can't explain) Ramone

How I learned to stop procrastinating and love the law
 

Our target demographic.

http://i.imdb.com/Photos/Ss/0265666/th-08-20R.jpg

PETE ROSE
 

You're not this stupid. He's a gambler. Gamblers know their games. Ask str8.

TM

PETE ROSE
 

And for the past 14 years, he has claimed that the prosecutor (MLBs??) is/was corrupt/dirty/every name in the book for trying to prosecute Rose for something he didn't do. The prosecutor (who would have been drawn & quartered had he stepped foot in the Nasty) hasn't received an apology.

PETE ROSE
 

Ask me? The guy who bet on Anthony Wright AND Quincy Carter on the same day? I ain't sayin nuthin.

lies
 

I have met with an ex. We had to meet to plan an alumni dinner. He told his wife about it and I sat with them at the dinner, but I sat next to her and not him. If I'd had an SO at the time, I'd have told him.

Most of my relationship wisdom comes from being an avid observer of interpersonal dynamics and how various relationships "tick."

I believe gift-giving is a tangible expression of love and just point out circumstances where that tangible expression might be made in sparklies, especially because many men I know are lame gift givers. The childbirth idea actually came from a former co-worker who wanted to buy his wife jewelry to commemorate the birth of their first child. I thought it was cool that she would always have that piece with the sentimental significance.

While I'm dishing out unwanted advice, I should point out that TUALIMM doesn't lead to much weight loss. :D

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

Hmmm. Maybe you're onto something...


I'll try that tonight and let you know how that turns out.

It's not just me he's, um... frugal with, it's himself too (he'd sooner wear pants with holes in them to work than spend for a new pair of DOCKERS -- and he walks around PLENTY in his underwear.

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

I too would rather wear pants with holes than spend for a new pair of Dockers. Fortunately, those are not the only options.

All it takes is Argyle?
 

I know that Orton collaborates a lot with the Chemical Brothers, but I don't think this is representative of her work in general.

I am listening to the The Kills album. Over and over.

"Like to cuss and fight (in the basement)
Kid like to cuss and fight (in the basement)
She got a rattlesnake on in the basement
The young snake's got my name"

No idea what that means, but I find it oddly evocative, and it is sung over a low down riff that makes me think about fucking. What more can you ask for in a song?

lies
 

So, you haven't then.

Yeah. "I'm not a doctor, but I play one on tv" doesn't do it for me.

I thought that was what the kid was for.

The TUIMMALB was the preliminary. I was expecting a deluge of the "if you love something set it free" type crap, whereupon a full TUAOM* would occur.

TM

lies
 

Wait. Isn't that your philosophy?

Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

God, no. He doesn't do that. On those rare occasions when we do go out to dinner (for example), he never wants to have to look at the price of anything, or not order something because it's too expensive, as he feels that lessens the pleasure of the experience. However, spending large amounts of money on anything that isn't golf clubs or a car LITERALLY gives him the shakes.

So, to tie this all in with lying, I shop for myself and have my goods sent to my barn out-of-state, so that I never come home with shopping bags. If he sees comments that something looks new, I say, "What, this old thing?" (to which he responds, "dtb, don't even try that on me -- I invented that trick...".

So, in his heart of hearts, he knows I spend money on things he would consider frivolous, but he'd rather not know.

I'm the family accountant because he would freak out when he saw a grocery bill for $90. It just makes him panicky. He has issues.

lies
 

Well, I keep setting ya moms free, but the bitch keeps coming back.

TM

Point to ponder
 

Is subtle the ironic of 2004?

lies
 

Stop setting up the secret meetings with her then. Your wife will get suspicious at some point.

Point to ponder
 

No. Now go home.

Personal Ads (Confidential to Atticus)
 

It seems like almost every online version of a publication has an ad for an online personals ad company, in which there is a sample picture and some little factoid about the sample person. This is generally meant to be alluring and convince you that all sorts of sexy, non-sociopathic people use online personals services. The one that I just saw has a picture of a guy, below which reads the following:

"More about what I am looking for: 'Can define anthropomorphism and its significance in the metaphysics of a religious discussion.'"

3 points:

1. Atticus, you are not a bad looking guy. And, unsurprisingly, not a bad dresser.

2. I am terrified to think about the type of women you are going to attract with that ad.

3. Get a hold of yourself, man. This is a risky game you are playing. Does your wife not use the computer? You are sure to get caught, and you are going to have to come up with something a lot better than some sorry ass circus-in-town excuse to get out of this one.

lies
 

I'm separated, so it's okay.

(And no, that isn't why we're not together anymore.)

TM

To tie a couple of threads, when I read posts like this the unavoidable phrase that appears in the mind's eye is "inside baseball." There's so much here, I think it ceased to be English.

I think only about a dozen or two people really follow this, and I am one of them only on occasion.

That is all.

Point to ponder
 

Whiff.

lies
 

Want to grab a drink?

The Apprentice
 

Well the guy is gone, so you can't see him. He was a big dumb chubby guy. Really he reminded me of Ty, but that would have been cruel.

The Apprentice
 

How smart is the one girl who asked Trump's girlfriend how she keeps such a big place clean? A fucking maid answered the door.

Apprentice
 

Oh, I'd vote for that proposition, too. The only difficulty is convincing anyone else.

BR(always wanted to be the sort of woman who inspired gifts of outrageous jewelry)C

FYI, I quite liked the Apprentice. I watched only because I, for some peverse reason, really wanted to see the Donald fire someone. Not sure why, but I really, really did. It was slightly more than moderately interesting.

spoilers...



I also really enjoyed Trump telling that one guy to shut up - the "you're trying to impress me, asshole, you don't interrupt me to tell me to let you finish your thought" thing. Pretty fucking funny. What dickheads. I was rather surprised the women made more money, since they seemed much, much more dysfunctional as a group. T&A really must have carried the day, there. Anyhow, the whole set up reminds me of Huxley's description of the experiment of making everyone an alpha in Brave New World - no one wanted to take out the garbage so they all killed each other. This could produce some entertaining TV.

Very random/Pete Rose
 

My brother just emailed me from his blackberry:

"Pete Rose is on my flight from NY to LA."

I suspect he's throwing back a cocktail or two after the week he's had.

PETE ROSE
 

Define great. He had longevity and consistency. His batting average was decent.

Rose is money-hungry pig and a decrepit human being. Latest evidence being that his admission and non-apology came via a book and not a press conference. That Gammons should turn on him after all these years speaks it all to me.

Selig must continue the lifetime ban from baseball and put his Hall consideration on the shelf for 2 years. For then, the time period for sportswriter voting is up and it goes to the veterans committee. And lets see if Yogi and Gibson and Lefty and the rest of the true greats vote for their "peer"

Very random/Pete Rose
 

Or is checking the over/under on the flight's arrival time...

lies
 

If I told you I'm growing out my hair, and that it might soon be long enough to yank my head back when you are fucking me from behind, would you consider a trip to Texas?

How I learned to stop procrastinating and love the law
 

all you know is that he didn't join in the competitions. maybe he's a purist.

lies
 

And in other news...

Internet travel sites Orbitz, Travelocity and Expedia all crashed simultanously this evening due to an unprecedented rush of traffic by customers seeking flights to Texas. Details are sketchy at this time as to what in Texas caused the rush on the sites...