It Takes One to Mail One...
 

Arkansas lawyer convicted of sending poisonous snake in mail as a threat to a neighbor...

Somehow I expected more stable behavior from a guy named Bob Sam...

"Ho Phase"
 

ED Sufferer, please. Why would I ever want to have a relationship if that was gonna be my deal?

"Ho Phase"
 

Well, you'll always have your cats (not in the Sebby-sense). (Or they'll have you, as the case may be).

And who is ED?

And why do you shout his name?

"Ho Phase"
 

Since I am entering my Ho Phase now, I will take notes and let you know when it is over. Realistically, I can't see myself getting seriously involved with someone anytime soon. The freedom is taking some getting use to, but I am enjoying it.

New Superbowl Bet
 

According to CNN, CBS has added a secret performer to the half time show (which already features Janet Jackson, Nelly, Kid Rock, and P. Diddy).

Who do you think it is?

My guesses -
Michael Jackson or J. Lo

New Superbowl Bet
 

I'd say somebody like Outkast, Justin Timberlake or Beyonce, though if there's someone with a Houston connection that could be a possibility as well.

Likely not Michael Jackson... Given the controversy, they probably wouldn't touch him (not that anybody should anyway) even after their little deal with him to air his special. He could get booed pretty badly if he did show up.

Darwin takes a hit
 

'ATLANTA, Georgia (AP) -- The state's school superintendent has proposed striking the word evolution from Georgia's science curriculum and replacing it with the phrase "biological changes over time."'

http://www.cnn.com/2004/EDUCATION/01....ap/index.html

You can't replace "evolution" with a phrase that means "puberty."

By the way, the headline reads: Georgia considers banning 'evolution'.

You take those quotes out and you've got yourself a headline (although maybe not a newsflash).

TM

"Ho Phase"
 

I've never needed cats.

Bob Dole can help you with your question, sweetie.

"Ho Phase"
 

Translation: I had myself a deep drink for the cup o' Lestertini.

TM

New Superbowl Bet
 

I thought I had heard that Beyonce was doing the National Anthem anyway. Isn't this true?

I would agree about Michael Jackson, though it would be funny to watch him run off stage crying.

This is Texas we're talking about. What about a big name Country music person? Someone might have to help me with this one. Maybe someone like Garth Brooks "unretiring"?

"Ho Phase"
 

Whatever you say.

Oh, THAT ED!

Naw, Bob's not my type.

New Superbowl Bet
 

Please, no. She can't sing. And don't they already have T&A (un)covered by the cheerleaders?

New Superbowl Bet
 

R Kelly or Luther.

ETA: I actually forgot that it was in Houston. For some reason, I was thinking LA. It could be "Destiny's Child."

New Superbowl Bet
 

Won't be R Kelly. If he got court permission to go to Houston, the press here would have gotten hold of it in a court filing already...

New Superbowl Bet
 

Beyonce is singing the National Anthem.

Probably the most famous performers out of Houston are ZZ Top. They were saluted at the second to last Texans home game. Clint Black would be my second guess, though technically he's from Katy, not Houston.

New Superbowl Bet
 

I can only hope its Clay Aiken - thus making an unwatchable game even more unwatchable.

Oh wow - I have 999 posts. I guess I have to stop.

World Traveling
 

Not that you care, but my mil has visited exactly 100 countries.

And I missed a state--I forgot that visiting Cincinnati requires landing in Kentucky. So, 33.

Bilmore, how cold does it have to be before the bubble trick works? I would love to see it, but at the highest temperature at which it is possible. Dang--I should have thought to try it during our week of being frozen in early this month. That was likely our only chance this winter for below-freezing daytime highs.

tm

Announcement 2
 

Speaking of fucko Miles, this guy sure made a wise choice with his acting career, huh?

http://www.htautographs.com/celebrit...es/s/shaud.JPG

He's his generation's Julianna Margulies.

"Ho Phase"
 

A couple of years ago, I decided late on a Saturday night that I wanted to be alone around other people. The closest and most convenient place for me to do this was local Sullivan's. Because it would close soon, I didn't change out of the long sleeved t-shirt and jeans I was wearing and just threw on my leather jacket. I was admittedly underdressed for the easy money set at Sullivan's, but I really didn't care. I got a table by myself, ordered a beer, and watched the replay of some football game on one of the tvs.

Before long, a reasonably attractive, reasonably intoxicated woman and asked if I was alone. She pointed over to a table of rich assholes I happened to know and announced, "I'm tired of hanging out with rich assholes." I replied, "What makes you think I'm not rich?" She asked to join me.

She soon started using such subtle lines as "Would you like to fuck me?" Though attractive, I really wasn't in the mood and tried to explain to her that I just wanted to be by myself, I had a girlfriend. "I don't care. I just want you to fuck me," she interrupted. I started to raise another objection when she leaned in and kissed me. It was a very nice kiss.

She excused herself to use the restroom and I reconsidered the course of my evening. The cocktail waitress came by to settle the tab. "You better be careful," she warned. This started my imagination racing as I wondered what kind of a woman could prompt a warning from a cocktail waitress. I decided that it wasn't worth the trouble, left the bar, and went home to some nice, safe internet porn.

I later learned from the rich assholes that she was just going through a ho phase after her divorce. Fucking cockblocking cocktail waitress.

Announcement 2
 

I call bullshit. Julianna Margulies is way hotter.

As a senior, I belonged to a practical joke group at Yale. At one meeting, someone had the idea that the next time the Whiffenpoofs were singing in public, we should attend, and vomit on or near them. We were ready to eat mashed potatoes with food coloring to make the effect even more spectacular.

The logistical problem: how to vomit on cue, without doing the finger-down-the-throat thing. Two members of our group volunteered to try ipacac syrup. At the next meeting, they reported back that instead of the spectacular projectile-vomit effect we'd hoped for, ipacac syrup makes you lie on the ground for an hour in pain with crap slowly dribbling out of your mouth.

Not so good.

In a later year, however, our group called the Whiffenpoof business manager, pretending to be the booker for the Today show, and told the Whiffenpoofs that the time of their appearance was pushed back 2 hours. They then got a bunch of people who couldn't sing to drive down to NYC at 5:00 a.m. and impersonate the Whiffenpoofs on the Today show. Good times.

New Superbowl Bet
 

If it was Rodney Crowell, I might actually watch.

Darwin takes a hit
 

:shakehd:

But we have Dany Heatley back....so all is good in Atlanta. And besides, Atlanta is like a tiny Yankee-enclave in the midst of bubba country so you cannot think that "we" agree with everything "they" do.

I so want to fuck you right now. Move over, Stephen Colbert!

"Ho Phase"
 

You should post more often.

Darwin takes a hit
 

That's pretty fucking embarassing...

Superbowl
 

Actually, I wouldn't be surprised to see a final score of New England 19, Carolina 0, or perhaps 19-10. The rest of yours are useless though.

"Ho Phase Math"
 

1. No
2. Yes, so long as the ho'ing can be done in view of the ex.

Announcement 2
 

I am a little slow today. who is that?

Superbowl
 

Exactly. That's the only combination I thought was being close to worth a damn.

"Ho Phase"
 

If you had a girlfriend, wouldnt that be the reason you didnt fuck her?

and i thought guy swere always in the mood. and would you really sully yourself with a rich hating prole tramp? they are so self loathing.

Superbowl
 

I think that the 29 pool paid out a few times this year. Maybe seven or eight games out of however many they play a year.

houston tennis center
 

given the sublime tennis matches I havebeen watching manside and the fact they are already heaviliy promoting the masters championships at the houston (westside?) tennis center, can someone tell me anything about this venue? good views? how are the spendy seats, how are the cheap seats? worth a trip down there for a few days to watch a bumch of matches?

favor
 

"Ho Phase"
 

Maybe he was not in the mood because of a recently completed sex marathon with the gf, and/or because his Viagra wore off and his health plan only gives him 5 pills per month?

Can anyone opine on how they feel about the 5 pill per month limit?

Darwin takes a hit
 

Yeah, in reliance of your earlier post, I'm going to go to a bar to watch the second and third period of the Leafs/Thrashers game. So I'll be looking for you on TV, though not entirely sure what to look for. Still . . . enjoy the game.

Fashion news
 

If you were with my mom you sure ain't the player you try and say here. That would have to be one sick hard-on, no offense. Beyond her babbling on endlessly, she's not exactly attractive. I'm mean, I never saw the surgical areas at all, so I'm just assuming, but shit.

Confidential to Thurgreed:
Was it a grudge fuck? You still pissed my high school team beat your's senior year?

"Ho Phase"
 

Not that he's an expert in any field, but Ashton Kucher says there's no way you should take a WHOLE PILL. That would be too much.

2 Stupid Questions
 

Announcement 2
 

He's the actor who played Miles on Murphy Brown, before deciding to leave the show so that he didn't get type-cast. Nobody incurs a greater wrath from Mrs. Str8 than douchebag actors who fail to realize that they're so incredibly lucky to get a regular TV gig (aka a meal ticket for you and, in the case of Ms. Margulies, your children and your children's children for the rest of your freakin' lives) that they decide to leave for stupid-ass reasons like "exploring other acting opportunities."

Shelly Long gets only a partial hammer on that one, because she did have a movie gig lined up when she left Cheers, but financially I'm sure she'd have been better off staying on the show. I'm sure there are others though; were the PD-babe on Night Court slot changes voluntary or forced by the producers? Anyone have other examples?