LawTalkers - Fashionistas you have arrived 3-25-03

Well, my moral code doesn't involve being holier-than-thou about other showing their bodies; it is unfortunately restricted to things like breaking rules, laws or social contracts when those actions hurt others.

One of the common offender SUVs in question is a Jeep Grand Cherokee with not only a "WWJD" sticker, but a Jesus Fish and a "My Kid is an Honor Student at We'reDownWithGod Christian Elementary". I get it. I am going to hell, and you and your honor student and Jeep will be parked illegally in front of the pearly gates.

First of all, a Jeep Grand Cherokee is not so big that it can't (even though is shouldn't) be parked in the "compact car" space, but the Jeep in question is always parked skewed with respect to the lines, so that there is enough space on the driver's side, and would be enough space on the other side but for the inept parking. Second, I innately dislike people who feel the need to tell me all their affiliations, when those affiliations are being obviously ignored and disregarded. If you were really that down with God, you wouldn't park like an asshole.

As for angry, I would never actually get angry about something as stupid as parking. I get annoyed. The most I would do in that situation is to confront someone in a way that I think is likely to get that person to change his or her behaviour. I pity the people who think that my honking or other behaviour intended to get them to change their behaviour is based in anger; it is actually intended to get them to stop doing stupid shit.

bilmore

08-04-2003 04:39 PM

Timmy on Law Enforcement

Quote:

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
It might induce a heart attack if it's a fat slob driving the suv.

You people are starting to appear to be somewhat fanatical and unbalanced and . . . well, . . . wacko. Small-car drivers have their own quirks and unsafe practices that bug the shit out of others. Shall we all commence deflating tires and keying paint?

dtb	08-04-2003 04:40 PM

True Confessions

Quote:

Originally posted by mmm3587
And, if they don't care about gas mileage (which I'm guessing, if one has an Expedition, one doesn't, either morally or financially) and if one doesn't really like "driving" (which, I'm guessing, if one has an Expedition, instead of a 3-series, A4 of even X5 or Volvo XC, one does not)

Alas, Chez DTB, there is an Expedition. I was horrified when my husband insisted on getting one. I really didn't like it -- too big, terrible gas mileage, yadda yadda yadda. But I have to confess (well, I don't have to, but I'm trying to hone my conversational skills with all you fake people on this chat board...), I have gotten quite used to it. What with the children, babysitter, occasional ride-taker and the huge dog, we do need a big vehicle to tote all of us out of the city every weekend. We are often packed to the gills with crap coming back to the city.

Furthermore, one of those Volvo, Audi, Saab [etc.] "station wagons" (the Volvo SUV is really more like a station wagon -- I've driven one) are not as imposing on the road -- and when everyone has a huge vehicle, you're not as safe in a car (defensive driving, don't you know.)

These may be lame justifications, and the gas mileage thing does bother me quite a bit, but we really do need a big vehicle. And I will NOT drive a mini-van. Ick. Totally uncool.

W.W.L.D.

08-04-2003 04:41 PM

Timmy on Law Enforcement

Quote:

Extra! Extra! Get your bumper stickers here !!

Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)

08-04-2003 04:43 PM

Timmy on Law Enforcement

Quote:

Originally posted by bilmore
You people are starting to appear to be somewhat fanatical and unbalanced and . . . well, . . . wacko. Small-car drivers have their own quirks and unsafe practices that bug the shit out of others. Shall we all commence deflating tires and keying paint?

Yes, we shall. If a small-car driver parks right next to me, or takes a spot that I was waiting for, the tires will be flat. (look ma, no property damage!). SUVs are just so much more likely to expand outside their proper boundaries than a honda insight.

Tyrone Slothrop

08-04-2003 04:43 PM

Timmy on Law Enforcement

Quote:

Originally posted by mmm3587
There are several assholes in SUVs who will park poorly and stick out into the next space a little bit. A lof of people won't take these spaces. The assholes have plenty of space to get out on the driver's side; it's the car to their right which is inconvenienced. I would rather park next to them and just carefully slide out of my car than drive for another five minutes and risk getting my car all wet. Any maybe key their shit if they keep doing it, but I have too much restraint to fuck with somebody's car.

If you let the air out of a couple of their tires after you park, it reduces the chances that they'll ding your car with their doors.

edited to add:
What Burger said. But if you do one tire only, they can change with the spare; if you do two tires, that's a problem.

leagleaze

08-04-2003 04:44 PM

Actual Fashion News

Quote:

Originally posted by idle acts
I caught up on my fashion magazine reading this weekend. A brief summary:

1) Midriffs are out - thighs are in;
2) Gloves and fishnet stockings are THE must-have acessories for Fall;
3) Red is the new black (Elle);
4) Menswear tweed is the new black (Vogue);
5) Fall shoes are "ladylike" (high-heeled maryjanes with round toes or pointy-toed stilettos); and
6) Corsets and/or corset-inspired clothing is in.

I cannot wait to make a court appearance in a red suit jacket with corset detailing, tweed pencil skirt, fishnet stockings, maryjanes with 5 inch heels, and gloves. NTTAWWT

Um...can I watch?

W.W.L.D.

08-04-2003 04:46 PM

How Would Jesus Park?

Quote:

Originally posted by mmm3587
Well, my moral code doesn't involve being holier-than-thou about other showing their bodies; it is unfortunately restricted to things like breaking rules, laws or social contracts when those actions hurt others.

One of the common offender SUVs in question is a Jeep Grand Cherokee with not only a "WWJD" sticker, but a Jesus Fish and a "My Kid is an Honor Student at We'reDownWithGod Christian Elementary". I get it. I am going to hell, and you and your honor student and Jeep will be parked illegally in front of the pearly gates.

First of all, a Jeep Grand Cherokee is not so big that it can't (even though is shouldn't) be parked in the "compact car" space, but the Jeep in question is always parked skewed with respect to the lines, so that there is enough space on the driver's side, and would be enough space on the other side but for the inept parking. Second, I innately dislike people who feel the need to tell me all their affiliations, when those affiliations are being obviously ignored and disregarded. If you were really that down with God, you wouldn't park like an asshole.

As for angry, I would never actually get angry about something as stupid as parking. I get annoyed. The most I would do in that situation is to confront someone in a way that I think is likely to get that person to change his or her behaviour. I pity the people who think that my honking or other behaviour intended to get them to change their behaviour is based in anger; it is actually intended to get them to stop doing stupid shit.

I still think you are dreamy.

SlaveNoMore

08-04-2003 04:46 PM

Timmy on Law Enforcement

Quote:

Atticus Grinch
I kind of fancy the "I'm Changing the Climate -- Ask Me How!" bumperstickers the guerrilla enviromentalists are using. I think everybody should immediately start sticking them on mega-SUVs in mall parking lots across America.*

*This statement should not be interpreted as advocating the defacing of private property to make political statements.

The glee I would derive from beating senseless any granola brazen enough to put a sticker like that on my vehicle is almost enough to make me consider an H2.

My only dilemma would be whether to use the tire iron, the baseball bat, the chainsaw, or - a la Bruce Willis - the sword.

not7yS

Did you just call me Coltrane?

08-04-2003 04:47 PM

How Would Jesus Park?

Quote:

Originally posted by mmm3587

One of the common offender SUVs in question is a Jeep Grand Cherokee with not only a "WWJD" sticker, but a Jesus Fish and a "My Kid is an Honor Student at We'reDownWithGod Christian Elementary".

My favorite is the Jesus Fish getting eaten by the larger fish with "Darwin" on it...

ThrashersFan

08-04-2003 04:47 PM

Timmy on Law Enforcement

Quote:

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
I kind of fancy the "I'm Changing the Climate -- Ask Me How!" bumperstickers the guerrilla enviromentalists are using. I think everybody should immediately start sticking them on mega-SUVs in mall parking lots across America.*

*This statement should not be interpreted as advocating the defacing of private property to make political statements.

Do the guerilla environmentalists only go after SUVs? I sometimes get worried that they will attack my sporty but very muscular V-8 (averages around 16 miles to the gallon but I don't go on the interstate). Maybe they have left me alone because they don't realize that doing 0 to 60 in under 5 seconds means you gotta suck some gas? I park my car well away from others (but always within sight of my office) but I still worry that some "crazy" will key it or something for being environmentally unfriendly*.

I consider myself somewhat environment conscious -- vegetarian, no fur, saving small bugs and animals all the time, keeping the thermostat low in the winter and high in the summer, etc. -- but I just love my car and I only drive it 13 miles each way for work.

edited to note that it is an American car so I do not fear the "Buy American" crazies.

mmm3587

08-04-2003 04:49 PM

True Confessions

Quote:

Originally posted by dtb
[valid reasons for owning an SUV or a minivan]

These may be lame justifications, and the gas mileage thing does bother me quite a bit, but we really do need a big vehicle. And I will NOT drive a mini-van. Ick. Totally uncool.

I guess that is all fine, but everything that makes an SUV good for you would make a minivan great. And being worried about being "uncool" is fine (yet superficial), as long as you admit it, I guess. I don't like that fact that people buy vehicles for image, but that's been a part of Americana for about 80 years now.

I own a car which gets me a decent amount of "image" attention, and it's all disgusting. Mid-twenties women are the worst about this; women who won't even look at me when I'm leaving the gym will talk to me when they see the valet bring my car. I own it because I always wanted one because of the capabilities and feel of it, and now that I work all the time I can afford it. Not that it was that expensive; most people can't tell mine (an '90) from the current versions.

W.W.L.D.

08-04-2003 04:51 PM

Timmy on Law Enforcement

Quote:

So true. I have a small fast car, and I drive like a fucking jerk.

And my only bumper sticker reads "Cash, Grass, or Ass ... Nobody rides for free."

Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)

08-04-2003 04:51 PM

Timmy on Law Enforcement

Quote:

Originally posted by W.W.L.D.
Extra! Extra! Get your bumper stickers here !!

Timmy sez: anyone find it curious that they make an analogy to the Battle of Bunker Hill? Perhaps Alamo is overused?

ABBAKiss