True Confessions
 

Please tell me you live far, far away from me.

True Confessions
 

Don't you think this was the most critical element to your argument considering it completely justifies it?

How Would Jesus Park?
 

Sigh, why can't lesbians have better taste?

Invitation hell.
 

You know, you don't HAVE to go to the shower - just send your regrets and get them a wedding present. I have never felt comfortable buying anyone else lingerie - unless, of course, it's a funny/gag shower and then you can buy the kinky stuff.

Second wedding - hopefully she's not expecting the type of haul you get at a first wedding. Me - I don't go to bridal showers unless it's a really really good friend. Otherwise - most people up the guest list just to get more stuff.

How Would Jesus Park?
 

You're a lesbian?

Invitation hell.
 

I don't need Miss Manners to tell me that is a serious breach of etiquette. Such tackiness must entitle you to an equivalent breach of gift giving etiquette -- give a donation in their name to a homeless shelter or a similar charity!


Don't assume being super-Bible-y means she wouldn't like racy underwear.

But if you don't want to buy undies, how about a gift certificate to a spa for a pre-wedding beauty treatment?

Invitation hell.
 

What do you make of this? Why, you can make a hat or a brooch or a pterodactyl —

Rainbow Wheels
 

My sister (married; 2 kids) has a Suburu. I'm going to have to keep my eyes on her. ;)

I'd never have thought there was a stereotypically gay or lesbian car choice. But with all those trucks and SUVs on the list, forget calling guys to help haul stuff home from Home Depot.

Invitation hell.
 

Too bad I rsvp'd before I got the invite - I thought it was a normal shower before. Unfortunately this is a neighbor and if I don't go it will be awkward.

She has just been added to the baby-shower list out of spite, however, so I'm feeling much better about this.

-TL

Rainbow Wheels
 

Is she cute?

My folks had a subaru years ago, before they got very expensive. It was a turbo station wagon. When the turbo went out, as was the wont on subarus back then, it went from 0-60 in 2 hours.

And they don't call it Homo Depot for nothing.

Now my dad has an SUV, he also has a minivan. He got the SUV to pull his boat and the minivan is going to my sister and brother in law who want one but don't have the money. The SUV replaced a big old ford bronco that my mom literally needed a step stool to climb into, he got sick of hearing her bitch. The minivan belonged to my mom and my dad winced every time he had to drive it.

Invitation hell.
 

Good ideas. I don't think that bibley = no fun, but in this case, the last I talked to her she made some comment about premarital sex being a major sin and so forth, so I really think she would keel over if I got anything rated more than pg-13.

Why wouldn't you take the car on a test drive before you bought it? What if it turns out to be a lemon? - you have only yourself to blame then.

-TL

Invitation hell.
 

Invitation hell.
 

I think you should get her something rated X. Maybe crotchless underwear and fishnet stockings. The underwear (or whatever we are calling it now) to be worn only after the wedding, of course.

Invitation hell.
 

You are not alone. The only way to save this couple embarrassment is to get them something from a totally different store that is unrelated to anything on their registry list. That way they can try to convince themselves that you didn't see it. It is the only kind thing to do.

Don't go. As with subsequent babies, one doesn't have showers for anything but a first marriage (exception granted if the first marriage was annulled and all gifts returned). Unfortunately, you can't let them off this hook by pretending you didn't see it, since you have to respond to the invitation. I suggest something like "I'm so sorry I won't be able to attend the shower, but I wish you the best of luck." If you can't resist adding "this time" to the end of that, I can't find it in my heart to chastize you.

Emily Post's rules about the conduct of second marriage ceremonies (wear a conservative dark suit to the event itself, don't have a lavish public celbration, only directly invovle a few friends, formal announcements aren't appropriate so inform people who must know by letter, don't involve children) have been mostly rewritten (actually, recycled for use in divorces), but the rules hold about double dipping for gifts among friends who are perhaps losing patience because they thought if you didn't mean that "to death" stuff last time around why should they believe you now? (The old "don't gift-wrap yourself in white bunting and veiling that looks stupid on anyone over 25" edict still stands, too.)

Invitation hell.
 

A wingnut friend of mine just announced her engagement. The wedding date is October something. We all were wondering why so soon, and she responded that if you're not having sex, you wanna get married as quickly as possible.