Oh, This is the big one, Lamonte!!!
 

I've had a few fake heart attacks. A lot of them were brought on from esophageal reflux, some by partying too much and some by a combination of the two.

The best way out of these (if you don't have xanax handy) is to take your pulse. If its drug induced, don't take your pulse - you'll just get more freaked out. If you're wired, drink three or four pulls of whatever hard booze is available quickly and then lots of water (you're probably dehydrated and need a fast downer). If you have reflux, take pepcid or zantac religiously before eating spicy food or drinking. And DON'T SMOKE. Cigarettes are hell on heartburn and you'll think they're calming you down but they'll only make things worse. If its reflux or pulled-muscle oriented pain, take your pulse. You'll see that its low and that will calm you down. Also, wherever you are, get to someplace nice and cool, preferably outside or in fron of an AC unit. The colder you are, the quicker you'll feel calm (don't know exactly why this works - maybe its the same principle behind the reason they ice live crabs at the market).

And those cheap erg machines are shit - they'll fucking kill your shoulders. I used to be able to do 20 min pieces on the ergs in college with no sweat, but the cheap ergs in my gym make my shoulders feel like they're being torn from the sockets. You really have to oil those things all the time to make sure they're safe.

i had an anatomy class in high school, so perhaps i can help, some of those symptons are not inconsistant with acute fecal bacteria poisoning

Oh, This is the big one, Lamonte!!!
 

A good rowing machine works your legs. A shitty one works your arms.

That business about Verizon is a little disturbing, but can you imagine how much computing power it would take to track and store the movements of Verizon's customers, and then to figure out what businesses, etc., are at those locations? I'm sure it could be done, but I'm not sure Verizon could raise the money to do it.

The symptoms are completely consistent with being full of shit.

Happy Friday!

Is It Art or Is It Vandalism?
 

Funny, is that the lame excuse that IBM used when they vandalized the sidewalks with their stoopid penguin logo?

Vandalism is vandalism bucko.

Oh, and tell your sock buddy Watchtower that the next time one of his "people" try to stick "reading material" in my face while I'm running for the train, someone's going to lose an arm.

Who Took the Hall Pass?
 

That's too cruel even for a cat.

Having gone to veterinary school in Bolivia, I did some research on this. The APDR* says this..."chest pains followed by mild freaking out and thoughts of SARS and tumors indicates presence of canine urine poisoning."

*Animal Physicians Desk Reference.

Alphabet Soup
 

:doh3:

Alphabet Soup
 

True enough. And c'mon people. Who among us knows a man who has not engaged in the occasional feces smearing and ingestion or who has not occasionally sucked the puss out of his own infected wounds? And it's not like every man out there (whether they admit it or not) has not downed the occasional glass of urine mixed with thick chunky menstrual blood. This whole "refusal to ingest body fluids" thing is straight up hypocrisy.

Bust out the midol bc I have PMS
 

What is going on with the PMS? My box says I have twenty but only ten show up. It says I have one unread but no unread ones show. I keep getting the gray prompt box for having a new PM every time I click on but then I dont except that one unread one I cant get to. This is driving me nuts. I think I need to go back to just getting emailed.

Bust out the midol bc I have PMS
 

My guess is that you had messages and read them and they are still listed as new because you have not logged out. I have had this happen before -- if I log out and then back in it says 0 new messages. YMMV

Will there be a ransom demand?
 

Who are you, what have you done with PLF, and how did you get him to give up his password?

Oh, This is the big one, Lamonte!!!
 

What's a good personal-best to have for a 5K erg? I was never on a crew team, but I'm pretty proud of my 18:20 (accomplished as a summer associate at the downtown YMCA in LA). Any other hardcore ergers here?

Bust out the midol bc I have PMS
 

If your box is set to showing only those messages from the last 2 days (or last 5 days, etc.), then that's all it will show. The other ten messages are still there. If you change your box to show messages from the last week ( or month, etc.), then all messages should show up. You have to adjust your box to fit everything in...

Bust out the midol bc I have PMS
 

Truer words were never spoken.