Tapped Out
 

Often, dogs can be a little jumpy around toddlers. Toddlers tend to make jerky movements, they tend to be closer to the sizes of dogs (which seems to engender some competitive or instinctual feelings in dogs) and they often make high-pitched noises.

A couple times, I've seen a dog try to jump up on a toddler, which results in a paw to the chest, which results in a toddler flying backwards with surprising speed and force. In each case, the kid was unhurt, and I hope he came away with an understanding of how to use his hands, body and voice to control a dog, instead of being petrified of dogs. Of course, having a thirty pound weight disadvantage on a dog will really require some skill, so the kid will have his work cut out for him until he gets bigger.

In both cases, the dog seemed as surprised by the flight as the kid did, and went over to sniff around the fallen, crying child to check out the situation. This, of course, contributed to the terror, as I'm sure the kid thought that the dog was coming up to rip his neck open.

Good times, dogs and kids. Good times.

(Of course, I don't think any sort of dog/child activity is funny if the kid is actually in danger, and I would never put either in such a situation. Unless it was on a reality show.)

Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

Poor Bill O'Reilly. And he is so unable to stand up and defend himself. For shame.

Maybe Fox News was "Fair & Balanced" in 1995 (I really don't know on this), but isn't there some way to take the trademark away if for the last 5 years it has not been "Fair & Balanced"? Did Fox News trademark "Fair and Balanced" or only "Fair & Balanced"? The sad thing for Fox News is that all they are doing is drumming up publicity for Franken's book. Sorta like when the Bond films studio sued Goldmember.

All I know is that after reading "Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot", I tend to agree that Rush Limbaugh IS a big fat idiot (okay, I might have thought that before).

Laughing at others' pain
 

That is freaky b/c when I read the first post about "America's Funniest.....", the only funny clip I could ever remember seeing was one of a cat falling off of a television (I don't remember whether it was fat). Is this a bizarre coincidence or do they have a clip of a cat falling off of a tv on every episode of "America's Funniest Whatever"?

And to keep my number of posts down (i don't want to be a loser and hit the dreaded 150), if I got on a reality tv show (fingers crossed for a fifth season of Amazing Race), I would try to have sex with the host. Would that be a first? Phil is yummy.

Monday Musings
 

Quite obviously, you are pregnant with a baby girl. Or your mom is. The father is Mark Dayton.

Cats, dogs and children
 

I remember the cat falling, mainly, because my cat does something similar. She falls off the couch when she is sleeping and is quite put out when I laugh at her.

As far as dogs, this weekend 3 dogs (Corgis) rushed the baby, actually they were rushing the baby's father who apparently startled them, and he was behind the baby. They stopped a few feet away and started to bark really loud. The baby stared at them for a moment with his mouth open, and then, in slow motion, his bottom lip started to quiver and he burst into tears.

He was fine not 2 seconds later, chasing the dogs around, and again, very funny.


Edited to say ooh I like my posting number. 969

Is that like an oral sex threesome? And is the first 9 just sort of out there in the cold, miserable and ignored?

Paradise Hotel (anyone watching this?)
 

So after Toni was ousted last week (not a spoiler b/c there is likely no one watching anyway, and the action is from 8 days ago), she has vowed to stay off the reality shows --

"Seemingly ubiquitous reality TV star Toni Ferrari, she of the bug eyes and Love Cruise, was voted out of Paradise Hotel last week. Now, she tells TV Guide that she's "done" with reality TV. "I think the world's had enough of Toni. I think they've overdosed on Toni, and they want me out. They're done with me. I don't think the world would miss me if I was gone.""


My question - how long does this camera whore last with her promise? I think she may have the world record for most unaffiliated reality shows appeared on:

Love Cruise, on which she was a beotsch
Blind Date, on which she emasculated her "date" and might have offered to bench press him or something
Paradise Hotel, on which she used her beotsch powers to attempt to manipulate others

Ah, Toni, we'll miss you.

Ps to Paigow: You really are going to catch third. I'm not even close and I'm sure we all agree that I post too much. WTG.

Paradise Hotel (anyone watching this?)
 

Nope, I will be fourth. I may have to pull a temporaary SI (is there such a thing as a permanent SI?) to ensure this. What a masterful way of Lester to get me to shut the fuck up. then again,maybe I wont.

and yes, thurgreed, I did that to annoy you.

Laminated list
 

My husband is similar - I think he's more familiar with my laminated list than I am. But he finds mine fascinating, because the people on it are rather strange, and none are remotely like him, or like each other. In fact, he's significantly better looking than just about all of them, except for Johny Depp. It is hard to feel threatened by Lance Henriksen and an 80 year old Ricardo Montalban.

Though he was almost as disturbed as Pony by my addition of Vin Diesel.

edited to add: Paddy Ashdown, now he's got some potential to be threatening. But the last pic I saw he's starting to look a little puffy, he may find himself off the list ....

Cats, dogs and children
 

I think this was Methuselah's age at death. Just sayin'.

There is no such thing as garden party chic
 

Silly boy, dress is simply a way for people like me to differentiate our crowd from the hordes of people like all of you. It's not that I know the "rules" -- please. The idea that there are "rules" that one must "know" is absurd. Only a striver would attempt to memorize such nonsense.

"But Snidely," you say. "How do you always wear the right thing?" Sigh. It's so easy. My man MacGillicuddy lays out my clothes for each function.

Anyhoo, ta-ta for now.

Cat-sup and Transexuals
 

Gosh darn, I didn't get picked for the jury. But I can report that the defendant (criminal case) had horribly bad fashion sense. Loud navy pinstripe suit (think British style) and the pinstripes were white and maroon. Flashy metal crest buttons too!! And the tie - ugh some abstract yellow/navy design. I feel like stopping by the courtroom today just to see what he is wearing.

Would I have sex on a reality show? Not unless I was drunk and horny. But then again, I don't plan on auditioning for any reality shows.

How many is too many cats? 2 (unless of course those 2 had kittens and you hav to keep them until they are weened and you've found homes for all of them).

Cape Cod Wedding attire? Personally I can't stand seersucker but some guys can pull it off. Are the bow tie and straw hat mandatory when wearing seersucker? I can't picture it any other way. I'd enourage the SO to weat a khaki or light colored suit. Golf attire is for the golf course, you'll look like you crashed the reception after playing 18.

On another topic - did anyone catch Sex Change (or something like that) last night on TLC? I was fascinated, but couldn't watch the whole program. It followed several men through the various stages of living as and becoming women. Facial surgery, hormones, gender modification surgery, etc. They really go thorugh a lot. I though it interesting that they only talked about men becoming women, not women who become men.

Anyone know anybody like this? One of the individuals they featured was a paralegal (no firm/city mentioned) and the only transsexual I've known of was a paralegal. Coincidence?


Anne
Never thought of using the Odwalla Lime Quencher as a mixer, but I'm thinking rum.

Noah Wylie leaving ER
 

http://www.eonline.com/News/Items/0,...0.html?eol.tkr

My question (one I've had for about 5 years) - who the hell is still watching this show?! That shark was jumped so many seasons ago. I just don't see how it could be on the air.

But then I had the same issues with Full House, Family Matters and whatever other crap family programming airs on Friday and Saturday nights, though, to be fair, I am likely not their target demographic.

Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
 

Chances are that cynical (and liberal) TM practicioners would observe that, if indeed registered, Fox News' mark is stronger than ever. Instead of being merely descriptive of the product, it's moved into the realm of "fanciful."

Cat-sup and Transexuals
 

I do. Jean (was Gene) is a 40ish computer software person who is a dive instructor on the side. She has the "final cut" in a few weeks. I only realize that she is not a born woman when her boobs float out of her dive gear. Or when Mr. Kiss told me about the time her balls fell out of her shorts. I missed that episode. Really a nice person though.

Laminated list
 

What?

http://ue.eu.int/pesc/envoye/imgs/Ashdown_new.jpg

Unless this is strictly an intellectual crush list. I have an intellect laminated list with Francis Deng, Philip Gourevitch and William Shawcross on it.