Black Ambition
 

Coke-free Robin isn't half as funny as coked-up Robin.

Fancy schmancy
 

Speaking of fancy...in People mag this week, Oprah celebrates her 50th birthday. One of her pictures shows her with a sweater tied around her neck. Hmm. This really doesn't seem like her style. And yet it was Oprah. Many women will try to copy this look - you just wait and see.

In other news, the woman standing next to me on the train this morning (and constantly invading my personal space and rubbing up against me) was wearing a velour running suit.

Why?
 

Today, and every day, honey. Why do you ask?

Fancy schmancy
 

WEll, be glad it was a velour suit, not a sandpaper one.

But did it say "Juicy" on the ass?

Fancy schmancy
 

MMm, didn't get a look at the ass, as I was sitting down and she was standing and facing me. I was very uncomfortable. I need my personal space and her crotch was damn near in my face - I was looking away for the most part.

Black Ambition
 

I fixed your offending apostrophe.

A few summers ago at the Just for Laughs festival in Montreal (home of the Museum of Humour, btw) the cast members of the Simpsons sat on stage and acted out an episode. Sounds like it wouldn't work, but it did. Then they did funny ad-libs. I developed a crush on Hank Azaria. Then they took questions from the audience and some were pretty lame. I was star-struck and couldn't think of anything intelligent to ask, unfortunately, so I didn't ask anything.

Black Ambition
 

Yes the but the golf joke is his best work. Right up there with the viagra joke (with water bottle as prop).

Black Ambition
 

I don't know -- I liked the fourth and fifth jokes in those sets better.

Black Ambition
 

Stand up comic: A guy named David Feldman at the Punchline in S.F. He was more famous for writing Dennis Miller's jokes, but was pretty good himself. Saw him on TV once, and he totally sucked. But the night I saw him live, I was dehydrated from crying so much. Honorable mention: Greg Proops, same place, same show.

Comic actor: Ricky Gervais. Close second: Christopher Guest.

DXM
 

Two seemingly unrelated things tied together. So I went to the store the other day looking for cough drops. My favorite, and the only thing that works for me are the ones with dextromethorphan. Went to several drug stores and could not find. Bought Halls or something. So I'm reading the People mag, and there is a story about how the youth of today are abusing dextromethorphan for its hallucinogenic qualities - however, many kids are dying from it. It talks about abusing cough syrup and cold tablets. It's called robotrippin.

Anyone ever hear of this?

The parents of these kids want this DXM (which you can buy over the internet apparently) to be put "behind the counter" or to be made a controlled substance. Cough drops? Really?

Making Flower's Head Explode
 

Makes one proud to be a Canadian. Doubly so. Good old Avril.
Piece of Avril trivia; a Hollywood studio purchased the movie rights to her song "sk8er boi." Rumor is they got it cheap. Hope so.

Making Flower's Head Explode
 

str8, can you use your Canadian/Hollywood contacts to advise Ms. Lavigne that "complicated" does not, in fact, rhyme with "frustrated," notwithstanding the fact that the last four letters match? You'd think they'd know about meter up there, being metric and all.

Making Flower's Head Explode
 

Actually it does rhyme.

"rhyme also rime
n.
Correspondence of terminal sounds of words or of lines of verse.

A poem or verse having a regular correspondence of sounds, especially at the ends of lines.
Poetry or verse of this kind.
A word that corresponds with another in terminal sound, as behold and cold. "

But it's still a stupid song.

Black Ambition
 

1. That Chappelle skit was outrageous; I made my wife watch it, though I'm not sure she was as amused as I was. "I know better than to get between a Niggar and his pork. Get your fingers bit."

2. I suspect Eddie Murphy's transformation from funny to not funny has to do with the accumulation of insane amounts of wealth.

2b. I learned yesterday that the guy who uttered the line "In Philadelphia it's worth $50" is . . . well, let's make it a google-free trivia question. First person to answer correctly gets 10 points.

3. As much as I loathe him, one of Robin Williams' specials where he was on a lot of coke was as funny as anything I've ever seen. As far as live stand-up goes, I'll go with Jay Mohr, but I haven't seen a lot of the greats. I'm seeing Chris Rock next weekend.

She's with me.
 

Don't F with Avril.

Black Ambition
 

Bob Newhart. He started out in the business doing standup in Chicago, and after he got big on tv, he'd do an occasional spot in one of the comedy clubs here in town. A very close second would be Bonnie Hunt when she was in Second City. She's never been as good at anything since, but she used to have me rolling in the aisles.

Black Ambition
 

Str8, please. It's Bo Diddley.

Obviously, like Bo Jackson back in the day, you don't know Diddley...

DXM
 

How many kids? As many as have died from, say, X?* Seems to me that everything should be made over the counter and children should be placed into giant plastic bubbles until they are 18 years old, at which time they will be allowed to go to college and kill themselves on alcohol binges. WTF.


*all four of them

Black Ambition
 

Haven't we been over that Bo Diddley knows that watch is so hot it's smokin'?

ETA: Yes, apparently as recently as 6 minutes ago.

She's with me.
 

I'm simply floored that you want to. She has nothing to offer.

The Agony and the X
 

I don't think that ecstasy is really a children's drug. It's kind of expensive. Maybe 16 year olds and up. And there are plenty of people who have all sorts o long-term effects from ecstasy, but aren't dead. It's that kind of drug. So I heard. I think that you will all agree that it's mainly incorrect for a lawyer to be looking for concert tickets these days.

Black Ambition
 

Whoever it was stole the line from "I saw that once in New Orleans; cost me forty bucks." The N'awlins line is so old it may well have been coined by Shakespeare.

The Agony and the X
 

I'd debate you on this, but I don't find any amusement in debating you (after the wonderful "why don't I get a mentor" experience), so suffice it to say you are not mainly correct.

She's with me.
 

She's younger than you, Muffin.

I have never understood this
 

I know Boston sports fans? Fighting? Getting rowdy? Who'd

Black Ambition
 

Bill Cosby.

He can make anything funny. And very little of his humor consists of cheap shots.

The Agony and the X
 

If you figuratively mean "concert tickets", I'd suggest you adjust your drug lingo since that means something else.

Whereas if you literally mean "concert tickets", then I'd ask what the hell is wrong with you, you insipid bore.

Black Ambition
 

Chappelle has passed Rock in my book. The Chappelle show is hands down the funniest show on television, even miles beyond Curb Your Enthusiasm and my old favorite the Simpsons.

Chappelle's show ought to have a warning before it. I watched the Niggar Family bit last night and coughed a good chunk of black beans and spicy grilled onions into my sinuses.

Black Ambition
 

Fuck off, skank.

She's with me.
 

So is Kelly Osbourne. What's your point? Are you still pissed off about the wake up call?

Making Flower's Head Explode
 

As a father who must listen to these things, let me say that Avril is significantly preferable to most of her competition for the teenie-bopper sound.

How I loathe the days when the sound was "oops, I did it again..." Avril at least is uphill from there.

While we're on Canadian's, I saw Canadian Bacon again last night. Boy, I forget how much that makes me laugh!

Black Ambition
 

Fred Phelps, of course.

DXM
 

I think the exact number is in question because DXM is being sold as X at Raves. So people think they're taking X and their friends will say they've taken X when they're driven to the hospital, but it's really DXM. But the number is high enough that once people find out it's legal and it gets you high, more people will be taking it. And the theory is that there are none of the obvious "tells" like dilated pupils that you will see with X, so you can hide it from your parents easier. But I've been on cold pills, and if I had taken 30 of them, I'm pretty sure people would know something was wrong with me.

One of the girls in the article said she had tripped over 300 times on it with her bf and said she was becoming addicted. They stopped when they had a bad episode and got all paranoid and freaked out by how she was so thirsty that she ate snow.

Black Ambition
 

Oh, and NCS. But all of her humor consists of cheap shots.

Making Flower's Head Explode
 

Take it to the geezers board.

DXM
 

So how many people have died from it? Seriously. Because more people die from alcohol every day than have died in that last decade from X.

The Agony and the X
 

I agree kids should not fuck around with X. Its seems to do nothing for a while. so you keep taking more and suddenly, pow - you're kicked in the nuts. You're roaming the streets outside your hotel looking at the lights and thinking "Fuck, I neeeed a fifth of whiskey and xanax" at five in the morning.

All that said, like anything else, unless you're a shithead and takes mounds of the stuff, or you have some odd unknown health issue, X ain't likely to do much more than give you a really pleasant evening.

Yesterday I watched a special about what Tylenol can do to your liver. Holy shit. At least X gives you a fucking buzz.

DXM
 

DXM? I think they said several hundred last year, but again, like I said, the number is in question. Kids die. They took cold medicine. A lot of parents didn't know how much cold medicine and didn't bother to ask.

X is illegal at least. It's harder for a 12 year old to get than say a box of Coricidin. I don't think that many 12 year olds are dying from alcohol.

Black Ambition
 

Funny? Back in the day... waaaay back in the day. He's been senile for years. Did you see him guest host for Letterman a few years ago? Paul Shaeffer was better. Bill and Dylan should get together and do a Mumbling in 2005 Tour. Neither one is comprehensible half the time.

DXM
 

Do kids still go to raves? The last rave I went to was in 1994 and everyone was talking then that the "rave" thing was on the way out. A shame really, because the combination of x + music at a rave really helped uncoordinated girls like me believe they could actually dance.

This talk is reminding me of Sarah Polley passing off childrens aspirin as X in the movie Go. Kids are pretty stupid.