Communist plants
 

Wait. I wasn't playing. I have intentionally avoided having anything to do with the lameass duvet thread.

For the record, I am pro-sex in other people's homes but con-doing it on the duvet. Pull the damn thing down and use the sheets.

Communist plants
 

does this mean you are finally getting some?

Of course you can stay so long as you get those wild ass pubes under control. I would rather find splooge on my sheets than have one of my cats choke to death on that action.

Communist plants
 

When fucking at a friend's/relative's house, you should:

(1) fuck on the floor; or
(2) fuck in the shower (but don't let people know you're both in there. Give the whole "guy gets in while girl is 'doing hair/make-up' in the bathroom to save time" story; or
(2) fuck in the front yard

I Don't Bring You Flowersock posts
 

If it's any consolation, I loved your Mohammed Saheed Al Sahaat Sock on greedy politics in the last days of the old board. Some would say it was very-fixing-deck-chairs-on-the-Titanic in a doomed-message-board kind of way, but it made me proud to be one of your socks. Not proud in a sycophantic Sockless in Seattle kind of way, but proud in a my dad is stronger than your dad kinda' way.

Duvets and The Restaurant
 

Agree on the washing. The 5 year frequency is drastically shortened if you have a cat who expresses unhappiness about some perceived slight by peeing on the duvet in front of you. Mine has been to the laundry twice this year.

I saw an old friend of mine on The Restaurant last night. She was a guest at a table that didn't get the right food. I'm going to call her. How funny that my reality TV addiction leads to reconnecting with old friends.

Communist plants
 

Must have missed your post.

Anyway, by the time the black light at the party was rolled out (in the guest bedroom?!), there would be no way to know from whence the semen sprang. Doesn't club soda glow like semen under a black light? Perhaps spilling a little club soda would give a good alibi?

Communist plants
 

And if Larry David has taught us anything, it's that club soda and salt is a great remedy for getting rid of stains. It's a two-fer.

Communist plants
 

Huh. For years, I've been assuming that the reason people's teeth luminesce under black lights was the semen. I'd look for best prospects at clubs on that basis. No wonder I always wound up going home with tight-assed Vodka Collins drinkers who wouldn't give up the Lewinsky.

the bad seed
 

Is it just me or isn't the point of having sex as a houseguest to leave some splooge behind.....like a dog marking its territory?

Communist plants
 

No, man. Haven't you ever seen 20/20 or any crime drama. The shit they spray on reacts to the protein and then glows under the black light. Didn't you see the thing on hotels rooms and how disgusting they are. There's splooge and urine on walls, comforters (hotel should use covers), carpet, etc. (They tested places like the Hilton and Sheraton - not by-the-hour places)
And no, a damp rag won't get that shit off a down comforter/duvet - it only smears it around. You can't use enough water to make a difference without matting the feathers.

And what the hell is wrong? Do I look like a demented raving puppet?

Edited to add, no. I'm a happy moose (NFH not ncs)

Communist plants
 

The saddest thing about this post is that you think that a Vodka Collins is made with club soda.

The saddest thing about my post is that this freaking duvet incident is going to make me go over 150 posts. Then I won't be able to make fun of Lester anymore.

edited to add that the saddest thing about this post now is that I bartended for 5 years and never used club soda in my vodka collinses. I am a huge bartending loser. And I can't even make fun of people well.

Communist plants
 

Oh, hell, fuck where ever you want to, whoever, whenever. It is no ones business, including your hosts. Decent people of course know that sex happens, but they choose to ignore it unless personally involved. And hosts are supposed to clean up after their guests, it is part of the quid pro quo. The only rules about guest-fucking are:

1: the guest shouldn't advertise the fucking (meaning, at least pretend to be sneaking from room to room and try not to shriek like banshees).

2: The host shouldn't ask.

3: The host shouldn't suppose, which includes ignoring all evidence.

If the host really did notice and is peeved, the host can just come spooge on your linens when he or she comes to visit in return. If the guest really spooged something awful on the duvet, curtains, cat or other fixtures, and really wants to do something about it, they can leave a couple of twenties behind with a note stating "we didn't get to help you out around the house while we were staying with you as we wanted, but we are such messy guests please let us at least contribute a little to the cause of cleaning up after us!" Even that smacks unpleasantly of paying for hospitality.

Communist plants
 

Um, not to make you feel bad but I think that is a yearbook picture you are talking about...

Communist plants
 

Bingo! I am relieved to find that I am not alone in my easy cum easy go ways. After all, what cums around goes around.

The Restaurant
 

I have only recently started watching the restaurant, thanks to my dvr's ability to tape while I watch the HBO shows and adult swim.

Rocco comes across very, very poorly. Petulant, uncaring, and boorish.

Do you think he knew he was this way before, or is he on best Rocco behavior?