Cum is a fucking disaster if you don't wear underwear. If you get a little morning action before work you have to be incredibly diligent to make sure no residual gets anywhere near your pants as your throwing on clothes and rushing to get to to the office. The shit never dries and leaves marks on khaki and stone colored pants. The worst is finding yourself on a bus or train, holding the hand handstrap, then looking down and realizing that there is a cute young girl sitting within close eyesight of your crotch, WHICH HAS A HUGE FUCKIN' CUMSTAIN ON IT. What do you do? Say "Oh... excuse me, that's urine"??? You're fucked. Now every time she sees you on the bus she'll think "that's the cumstain or bladder problem guy" and you'll have to try to find a spot on the bus far away from her. God forbid you get on and the seat next to her is the only one open...

S(The only thing worse I could imagine would be to "gamble and lose" on the bus/train)D

The Simple Life
 

Uh, I dont see any of them jetsetting around the world in their Manolos to go from party to party. Why do you think Jacki O had to marry Onassis?

The Granddaddy of Reality TV
 

Still holding a special spot in my heart, news from Real World/Road Rules alum -

Road Rules Campus Crawl cast member Shane Landrum says that during the taping of The Real World/Road Rules Battle of the Sexes, Puck became "like a big brother" to Shane, giving him advice about how to deal with his impending fame. Shane also says that because the cast was "under lockdown" and the resort didn't offer anything to keep them amused, "we just sat around and got high." He also reveals that Bunim-Murray pays $1,000 for therapy for cast members, and says that appearing on the shows, "You are exploited. That's what you're signing up to be. Your life is taken from a different perspective. My sexuality and relationship with my parents was taken from me. They robbed me and left me with nothing." He'll be doing another Battle of the Sexes this fall.



PS to Paigs, you have any special plans for number 1000?

The Simple Life
 

Ted Kennedy recently disclosed blind trusts of between 25-25 mil.

JFK Jr was worth close to $100mil when he died allegedly.

The Kennedys have always shunned the manolo and jetsetting crowd. They're more ski and shore family vacation types... always trying to imitate the patrician wasps.

Jacki mrried O because he had a huge fucking cock.

Can I use you as a character in my soon to be world famous stand up routine? Seriously. I can recount your one night stand with the rimjob freak, your love of corn, your cumstain issues, your transition from pompous, class obsessed freak to plastic surgery diggin man of the people. I am sure the board will mainly agree that it will be mostly hilarious.

The Simple Life
 

Plus, she's got a set of pipes on her.

Or wait. That's XTina.

The Simple Life
 

John O'Hara??? I don't see the similarity.

Tori Spelling... dios mio was she uglier than a bag of assholes. I always found it bizarre that she played the character most obsessed with keeping her virginity in 90210. I wanted to scream, "Fuck... you look like Gumbi's sister! I say take whatever dick is offered becuase as soon as he sobers up, he's going to sprint from your place like Carl Lewis running the 400 on methamphetamines!"

The Simple Life
 

I recall from some crap biopic or another that there is an answer to this, involving trusts for offspring not widows or something, but I am too lazy to google it to find out. But I think the lack of jet-setting by Kennedys may have more to do with the family's continuing political ambitions than lack of funds. Jet-setting doesn't actually require that huge a fortune, I understand; it is quite usual to be a jet-setter riding on someone else's money or, once you're sort of established, getting comped to show up to add cache to jet-setty sorts of things.

But dilution is a real issue, particularly if the trusts aren't set up with the long-game in mind. I was told by a my-generation Rockefeller (5th gen? can't remember) some years ago that the estate was pretty thoroughly diluted since there were gazillions of them running around, and the only thing standing between him and actually having to work for a living was the fact that the trust was set up for the family as a whole, not individuals, therefore letting them escape a lot of raiding/profligacy problems and letting the aggregate investments actually make a real profit.

The Simple Life
 

First it was Elvis. Then Tupac. Now its JFK Jr? Does Oliver Stone know about this?

aV

Speaking of Tori Spelling...
 

Here's the Sport's Guy comparing OC to 90210 and Melrose and Dawson's Creek:

"But here's the big thing: None of the "OC" actors -- with the possible exception of the Aryan boyfriend -- are bad enough to rate on the Unintentional Comedy Scale, an integral part of 90210's success. Remember David Silver singing and dancing, Tori Spelling's cleavage (which looked like a a thumbprint in a pound of ground beef), Noah Hunter rattling out his lines like his mouth was on fire, or every scene with Ian Ziering? Remember Dr. Michael Mancini on "Melrose," or the immortal Andrew Shue? I'm not sure "The OC" has these things, which brings it closer to "Dawson's Creek" than anything. And that was the problem with "Dawson" -- it always took itself too seriously. That's why I didn't like that show. Josh Jackson stumbling through his lines can only go so far."

The Simple Life
 

But the rich are different. It's more relevant that Tori's dad is richer'n Onassis than that he's nominally a celebrity. It's so much easier to get long-lasting exposure when daddy is the executive producer of the show.

If you're merely the ugly child of a (non-astronomically wealthy) celebrity, your 15 minutes end fast, just ask the Osbourne kids in a couple years.

Speaking of Tori, has anyone even looked at her face since she got those implants?

The Simple Life
 

Implants!!??!! I don't believe it.

The Simple Life
 

On a mostly unrelated note, the E! True Hollywood Story: Jenna Jameson was on again last night, and I managed to catch most of it. I've never been a Jenna fan, but it was pretty interesting. For someone who's been in the business as long as she has, she still looks pretty good.

I do wish they would have had some pics from her druggie period -- she said she was smoking speed, didn't eat for weeks and was down under 80 pounds. That would have been freaky.

Her brother is the guy Jack Osbourne hopes to be in 20 years.

The Simple Life
 

Dude, no matter what they stick on her chest, she's still fuckable only from behind, and only after at least a six-pack.

Speaking of Tori Spelling...
 

I have no idea what OC is, but that is a great explanation. As for Dawson's Creek though, Dawson's freakishly enormous head was good for some unintentional comedy. He also forgot to mention Shannen Doherty's freakish asymmetric eyes and Jason Priestly's eyebrows and sideburns that looked like strategically placed furry rodents.