Warning Warning
 

The Internet may stop working today.

link to story regarding Sobig.F attack.

Warning Warning
 

"Antivirus researchers at Sophos and F-Secure have discovered that Sobig.F, the worm that has been flooding e-mail in-boxes this week, is programmed to download and run what most are describing as a "unknown program," on Friday at 19:00 UTC (3 p.m. EDT)."

Its three o'clock in the east, and my machined virus has not interrupted my ability to download good porn.

Enough Already
 

Yeah, I think Nabisco and such were sponsoring them.

Math problem:

Janet has three oreos; Ralph has two oreos. How many Oreos do Janet and Ralph have?

Science Question:

Which of the following is not a healthy lunch food:

1) Kraft Macaroni and Cheese
2) Oscar Mayer Lunchables
3) Cheetos
4) carrot sticks packed by mom.

It knows all! It sees all!
 

Connect the Dots = F

As someone who was mechanically emasculated by an algorithm, let me speak for the other similarly situated suitors who are, ostensibly, in touch with their feminine side and are therefore all sensitive and shit:

That machine made me want to cry. And do these pants make me look fat? Are you sure? You don't think they make me look hippy? You are not just saying that are you? Because I don't want to walk out of here in pants that make me look fat, so just tell me if they make me look fat okay? Look, I know you are just saying that, I look like a cow in these pants. You can almost feel see the cellulite through the gabberdine. What do you mean ment don't get cellulite? Are you calling me a liar? You are seeing someone else, aren't you? I want a name. I think I deserve that.

It knows all! It sees all!
 

Do actual women truly do this? I don't spend much time with women, so maybe I am not equipped to render an opinion, but none of the women I hang out with act like this.

Just In Case
 

From now on I am going to send all my email in binary code.

If you get one, go here to decode.

Shhhhhh.

It knows all! It sees all!
 

Look, why don't you come over, we'll get some ice cream, and we'll just spend the evening talking about your feelings about all of this, okay?

Enough Already
 

You have a lot to learn about writing questions for standardized tests/texts: answer choice 4 to the science question makes an impermissible assumption about gender roles, and the names Janet and Ralph are both too western european (and, to my mind and perhaps yours, too evocative of eating disorders).

It knows all! It sees all!
 

Stop. You're turning me on. anttwat

It knows all! It sees all!
 

I hope you're not equipped to render an opinion.

The Quiet Mayor

Just In Case
 

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Just In Case
 

One's enough.

It knows all! It sees all!
 

Did you just call me a fat?

Enough Already
 

Me neither.

For shame.

It knows all! It sees all!
 

I think women who do that often hang out together in flocks in the dressing room at Bloomingdale's. They have no body fat but want confirmation that they make Lara Flynn Boyle look like a farm animal.

I will make an honest but diplomatic assessment on how a piece of clothing looks on someone in a dressing room just once. After that, I am going out for coffee and dessert because I'm tired of shopping, and if they break the spell of my chocolote mousse with their whining about their ass size, I will cut them out of my life.