Happy Gilmour!
 

I don't think they had those when he was in school. It would probably just confuse him.

Happy, Bilmore?
 

I have never understood why this quote caught on. England is cold, wet, and dreary. Why not think of the French Riviera or the Mediterranean coast instead?

CDF (yes, I know the provenance of the line, but nationalism be damned)

Happy, Bilmore?
 

One is fulfilling one's duty to provide heirs to the nobility of England (or cannon fodder or workhouse fodder or whatever). So you are thinking of your pride in fulfilling your civic duty.

If you thought about something happy you might start crying (the contrast, you know) and that might anger your husband. Very bad to anger the husband.

Happy Gilmour!
 

If Venn is in as nice a mood as is ltl today, he can keep his diagram.

Happy, Bilmore?
 

I dunno. A lapdance is so much better when the stripper is crying.

My wife remembers seeing an old book of household protocol from the '10s and '20s, where the book (written by a woman) helpfully suggests that during the act, wifey might distract herself with thoughts of various consumer products she would like to buy, like a nice dress or a fancy kitchen tool.

Combine this with the thought that hubby is furiously pumping away with thoughts of baseball dancing in his head and you'll have the Mother of All Stereotypes. I bet both Sears and MLB planted these helpful tips as some kind of multi-level marketing ploy.

Happy Gilmour!
 

Pshaw. I'm sweeter than a beehive in, uh, whatever month it would have the most honey.

Hot or Not
 

What a let down. Christina has talent (and they must have turned her mike down when all three of them sang the chorus), but jesus. Britney and Madonna cannot sing. Period.

I always wondered why everyone has so much respect for Madonna. I had an argument about this with some brain dead bimbo at a dinner party one time. She was spouting off about the Madonna concert she had been to and how she rocks and is such a hero and legend and whatever. I asked her if she was kidding. She said, "No way! She totally reinvented herself and is enormously talented!" I said, "She's a slut. She started off as a poor white trash slut. Turned herself into a Spanish whore, Italian tramp, a black ho, a lesbian whore and a fag hag slut. That's not really reinventing yourself, since there's been one constant. She has NO talent. All she's good at is working out, eating right (and probably) fucking. The girl I was talking to was highly offended.

TM

Happy Gilmour!
 

And yet, I still avoid beehives.

Happy, Bilmore?
 

Why would this be? I'm never getting married. Sounds like the sex is depressing as hell.

Close Your Eyes and Think of the Front Loader
 

Yeah, that image came from a "book" your "wife" read. Did any of Sebby's friends see this book, too?

Happy Gilmour!
 

Dammit, I'm losing my edge again.

Damn damn damn damn.

:brick:

Edited to add the emoticon because what post exists that can't be enhanced by an emoticon!

Minnesota, Hooray!
 

Bilmore, here is something of which you can be proud:

"U.S. cyber investigators arrested a Minnesota teenager Friday who the FBI said has admitted unleashing one version of a damaging virus-like infection weeks ago on the Internet.

A court official identified the teenager as Jeffrey Lee Parson, 18, of Hopkins, Minn., known online as ``teekid.'' A U.S. official in Washington also confirmed an arrest was made early Friday."

Here's the full article so your Minnesota heart can fill with pride:
http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/tech...Attack.html?hp

The Tara Reid challenge
 

Via Slave's penis and less than 3 degrees of separation, I suspect you've already slept with Tara Reid and all of Newark.

Minnesota, Hooray!
 

You actually have no idea how close you're cutting, here.

Minnesota, Hooray!
 

I bet that teenager knows what a Venn diagram is.