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I'll never understand you on this one. Let's look at her pathetic, forced signature lines:

He's not afraid of heights. [Good one.]
He's been lifting. [They've all been lifting and juicing.]
He's no beanie-baby. [I would have fired her on the spot the first time I heard this one if I ran ESPN.]

She fucking suxass. She's ugly. And her teeth get in the way of the rest of her face. I detest her like a sickness.

But, I also can't stand Stuart Scott (and I think we covered why he sucks).

TM

Guilty Pleasure Poll Redux
 

I visit websites devoted to displaying lawyer body parts.

NFL coverage
 

What's wrong with Stuart Scott?

For Tyrone Slothrop
 

You must know a lot more about Ty than I do.

Guilty Pleasure Poll Redux
 

Now there's an idea for a snuff film we can all get behind.

Guilty Pleasure Poll
 

(1) Music/song: I would never be caught listening to the "it's getting hot in here" song, but I kinda dig it. And "Tom Sawyer" - laugh away, you RUSH haters! Ooh - and ABBA* - it was one of the few things my mom let me listen to as a kid and I know the words to every single song. I should add that there is nothing wrong with Nutcracker music at xmas - it's a hell of a lot better than the other crap they play from September on. Now if you wear a tutu while you listen, perhaps that would qualify...

(2) Movie: Better Off Dead.

(3) TV show: If I'm home, Oprah.

(4) Necco Wafers. I will go out of my way to find them. I've discovered they have them in the neighborhood Dollar Store (which, I'm afraid, brings me to another item I won't admit in public).

(5) Buying Halloween candy a month+ early, eating it all, hiding the evidence from Mr. Lex, and then running out to buy the exact same kind to cover the crime.

Bonus Poll - Most hated bands:

Van Halen - I've never liked them.

Edited to add:

*I dig ABBA the person too, but I don't consider her a guilty pleasure - that would be completely diffferent.

For Tyrone Slothrop
 

With apologies to Diane Keaton, you are my new hero.

For Tyrone Slothrop
 

And you are not my hero. My three-year-old son's hero, doubtless, but don't find any solace in that.

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He's a white man trying to act black.

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Kevin Frazier, on the other hand, rocks.

He's what Stuart Scott used to be before all his stuff was played.

NFL coverage
 

Of course, NO ONE is really that funny on SportsCenter anymore. Everyone tries WAY too hard to say something cool. Chris Berman stopped being funny in the '90s. Stuart Scott is the Carlton of sports. ALL OF THE NEW GUYS SUCK.

The commercials are still funny.

Baseball Tonight is still excellent, even though Pete Gammons needs to take his lips off the BoSox's collective dick and actually report on one of the other 27 MLB teams.

NFL coverage
 

He was cool as hell when he started, throwing in a "cooler than the other side of the pillow" or a "boo yah!" here and there. Now, every damn highlight he says something stupid.

"Pookie and Ray Ray and all their kinfolk will be so proud..." [beyond stupid]
"Boo Yah!" [Enough.]
"Oh my gawd, no he didn't" [I would smack him if I were there.]
"You see, what had happened was..." [just not funny]

He bought into his own hype. He thinks we watch SportsCenter for him (same thing happened to Olberman and to a certain extent, Boomer). Wrong. I watch for the highlights. Play them and tell me what happened. Be funny sparingly. Don't quote directly from the rap song you just heard (which you don't realize is actually 3-4 years old) for every highlight. Plus, his eyes are all fucked up.

Thurgreed(Dan Patrick should be on every 11:00 Sportscenter with a mix of Eisen and Mayneski)Marshall

For Tyrone Slothrop
 

Well then, put that running dinosaur out of it's misery already and use the static one from the site.

TM

NFL coverage
 

I agree with most of that. I just think Scott is the biggest problem. And now I have to watch him on non-This-is-SportsCenter commercials.

Only because they don't let them write them.

Gammons is a god. He knows everything about baseball. And I like when they report on Boston because I love watching Boston fans get all excited and then watch as they shoot themselves in the face every September.

You know who's good? Tony Gwynn. Well spoken. And actually adds to conversations with <gasp> real baseball knowledge that is informative and current. They should replace that jackass Valentine with him.

TM

ESPN Anchor Roulette
 

Right on. Great pickup from the FOX scap heap. Total opposite of Scott, who just needs to go away. Losing Rich Eisen is unfortunate, since he's good. Dan Patrick moving to 6pm is a travesty -- who the hell gets home early enough to watch, and it's the late show that's replayed in the AM.

Now if only they'd move Dana Jacobson (or even Chris McKendry) to the late show, it would be all good...