Daaamn
 

And here I was sure that I had spotted you, based on your previously reported 38DD measurements.

Sad news for Thrasher
 

That's some pretty scary shit, but not surprising. Having never (and I mean NEVER) been late on a payment for anything and holding a FICO score in the mid 800s I have never (and I mean NEVER) been able to understand how grown people can fail to prioritize when it comes to money and their homes. Your house is the most important asset you own (actually, the bank owns it) so don't miss or be late on a single fucking payment, EVER.

How can people not get this? Sell your car, ditch the cable/dish, drop the cellphone, stop eating out, tell your kids NO, get a night job at the Quickie Mart -- do whatever it takes to make that payment and if you still can't for God's sake call the bank and try to work something out. If you fear that you will lose your job in the near future, take out a home equity line now while you can but don't use it -- for five years you can draw against it if you need to and that should get you through the rough times. Credit cards and the inability to defer gratification are the root of all this shit.

I was thinking hard about this last night when my husband's college-going sister called for help because she is $9,000 in credit card debt (you are in college, stop spending money you don't have) and had been working with AmeriDebt (the horror! I told her she was a fucking moron for that one) and was now getting collection letters and shit. Long story short, I gave her advice I never thought I would give to anyone -- get an SLS and pay that shit off (because I REFUSE to cosign a loan or give money to someone so irresponsible) and NEVER do it again.

Vegan poll
 

Of everything in that post, your accusation of me moving to Jersey hurt the most.

TM

Sad news for Thrasher
 

Not surprising at all. And not actually that new, vis a vis families with kids being most likely group to go bankrupt. That's been the case for a decade or two. Financial distress, marital dissatisfaction, having kids just looks more and more attractive.
$9K in debt in COLLEGE??? I thought spending other peoples money on tuition was shame enough. Sane people pay the usurers off in full every month whether they have to or not.

How the fuck did she get a card with a $9K limit on it, anyway?
Refuse to cosign a loan EVER. Cosigning someone else's debt is about as stupid as ... pissing away money you don't have yourself. I wouldn't do that for immediate blood relations, never mind inlaws.

Happiness and Bankruptcy
 

These facts underscore just how scary it will be if the bankruptcy reform legislation ever goes through. In a moral/practical sense, I sort of want people to not be able to walk away from credit card debt through Ch 13. However, on the other moral hand, I don't want credit card companies who rope consumers by offering credit to anyone with a pulse to be able to create a virtual debtor's prison for a large segment of society. Both the foolish consumer and the malicious credit-offerors deserve each other IMHO. In the end, I view losses to the big credit card companies like MBNA as a cost of doing business. Making risky bets is part of their business. If they want to have guarantees of payment, then they must lower their interest to near zero.

Anyone read the piece on happiness in the NYTimes mag this past week? Basically, the piece said that people are horrible predictors of what will make them happy in the future, so they stupidly spend on material and keep the consumption merry-go-round going. I felt a good bit vindicated by the piece's subtle gibes at the "conspicuous consumers" among us. I've always spent wildly on pleasure, but not wildly on material, and it was refreshing to see the writer of the piece basically support a theory I've always had - spend your money and time with friends and family, not on stuff. This article should be required reading for everyone chasing his tail in the current economy.

S(you can't go out to dinner and laugh your ass off with your Jaguar)D

Baby showers (etiquette warning)
 

Huh. I wonder if Judith Martin is getting soft? I was surprised by the mild nature of this response. Article is available free from washingtonpost.com, I'm too lazy to supply the actual link.

"Dear Miss Manners:

My unmarried niece gave birth to a little girl last month. Earlier in her pregnancy, her family sent out invitations for a baby shower. Since she lives several states away, I sent a monetary gift and received a lovely thank-you note in return.

I was later quite surprised to learn that the baby was given up for adoption. Is it appropriate to have a shower when the baby is to be given up for adoption? If this was a last-minute decision, should I not have been sent a note of explanation? I do not wish my gift returned, I just feel as if I should have been informed.

[Gentle Reader,]

As a matter of family news, Miss Manners agrees that you should have been informed, but you seem to relate this courtesy to your contribution to the shower. That is a mistake: The baby was born, you gave her a present and you were graciously thanked.

Now -- could we not look too closely into the question of whether there should have been a shower? The decision about adopting might have been made subsequently, as you realize. But even if not, perhaps your niece simply craved this small ritual and wanted to send the child off with things from her family. Miss Manners is not able to begrudge her that. "

Comments?

Miscasting of the century
 

Compared to this, Assfleck looks liek a member of Tony Soprano's crew in Gigli. NTISIOA.

Did anyone read In the Cut, which was quite the book? This is gonna be the final nail in Ryan's career coffin bc the actress most perfect for this role is clearly Catherine Keener, and they are quite a bit different.

Hate when they make bad movies out of good books. (will this inspire a poll?)

Also, I am having just a ballsout terrible time right now and would appreciate it if someone could repost that pic of Bilmore in his lime green thong bathing suit contraption.

Baby showers (etiquette warning)
 

I'm sure she pinned an envelope full of cash to the receiving blanket, no?

sf

Sad news for Thrasher
 

Perhaps the worst advice I ever heard was "You'll never be able to afford kids and there's never a RIGHT time to have them." Ahem, there is a something called wise future planning. You probably ought to consider the huge costs of kids before you go out and have them. Some foolish people I know have had them for a few years now and say "Well, you'll have kids when your 57 and still be saving for college! I'll be on vacation." I usually just smile and say nothing, but what I'm thinking is "I'll be on vacation too, because when I'm 53-58, I'll be at the peak of my earning capacity, and although its morbid to consider, any money we get from relatives passing on will start trickling in to make paying for college, buying the kids cars, etc... easier. You'll be struggling to put kids through school and likely won't have the disposable income to lavish on your college age kids that I'll have because I waited." Now, sure, both schools of thought depend on several assumptions coming true, but I'm willing to bet I'll be flush with a good bit more dough in my 50s than my early/mid forties. Oh, and I'll take those years of tanned relaxation on the beach with my wife now, while we're both young and still attractive, rather than betting on future vacations which may never happen. I'd rather have memories later than bet for a future that cancer/heart disease/accident could take away. There's always life insurance for the kiddies - there's no insurance for a spouse robbed of the best memories of life because you had kids early betting on a golden old age that never came. Its criminal not to get yer ya yas out while you're young and healthy...

S(Oh, and I'm also betting my kids will get scholarships;)D

Sad news for Thrasher
 

I'm not quite sure that I'd rely on a future inheritance on my financial planning. People have a tendency of not dying when you want them to, and sometimes they're not as loaded as you think they are.

Miscasting of the century
 

I read In the Cut, and only remember about it that I was HORRIFIED by the ending. But somehow I agree that Meg Ryan doesn't seem right for this role...Linda Fiorentino, perhaps?

Worst movies out of good books:

American Psycho and Less than Zero, both by Bret Easton Ellis
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Hunter S. Thompson


Bn'(I would have married Bret Easton Ellis, if I'd had the chance...)B

Happiness, Panic, and Good Decisionmaking
 

Sebby, you might want to go back and read the article again. Apparently, we are biologically disposed to cope with whatever decision we make. Had you had kids early, you'd claim that was the best of everything in the best of all possible worlds. Our brain is like a rheostat -- preventing us from being too happy or too panicked.

Speaking of panic, the OM and I were discussing people's behaviors in moments of crisis. Neither of us could imagine witnessing panic at the moment of an event.

His exposure to panic-inducing incidents is higher than mine. When he was fighting forest fires, he was nearly "burned over" with his crew. His crew chief calmly explained that they needed to start running through the fire, then get under their fire blankets and wait. He said it was among the calmest moments of his life.

He had the same feeling when his jump landed him in trees dangling from his parachute with a broken leg and when a fellow jumper ended up in power lines.

You just deal until you're through it.

Question relating to banking
 

Duh.

Baby showers (etiquette warning)
 

I want to have some more bridal showers then. Am I getting married again? Well, no. But I do crave the small ritual of having friends and relatives give me thousands of dollars. Sounds like I have support. I just want some family mementos, preferably ones with dead presidents on them. That's all.

Sad news for Thrasher
 

We will likely be kicked off the board for even having this thread, you know.

Part of me believes that it is best to have kids when you are young, before you get too accustomed to spending your money on yourself and while you have the energy to earn and parent. My folks have a great life in part because they had my sister and I when in their early twenties. Sure they struggled, but it was doable at that age because they didn't know any different. By the time they were in their early forties both my sister and I were out of high school and my parents were making more money and enjoying life. Now in their mid to late fifties, they have been "retired" for a few years, do the snowbird thing in a house on a golfcourse in Fla and spend the rest of the year travelling the country in a motorhome and golfing. They are still young and vibrant enough to enjoy time with their grandson. I will be 46 when my son graduates high school which I think is a great age to step back into my own life.

As for college, although I am one of those who does not feel that it is my responsiblity to pay for my son's schooling past high school (hell, my parents didn't pay a dime for all of my education and I did just fine) I have softened a bit and started a 529 plan. In relation to that, I recommend the UPromise system to anyone who wants to save money for college -- you wouldn't believe the contributions I have accumulated just by shopping, buying gas, etc.