So, how about those Mets?
 

The right priority matrix is:

1. Sex with someone new and hot + coke (for purposes of this list, sex with two women at a time shall be deemed the equivalent of sex with someone new and hot)
2. Either one of the above by itself
3. Excellent, very good, or good food
4. Sex with a significant other
5. Weed
6. Jagermeister (simulates #5)
7. Other decent forms of alcohol
8. Sub-par food
9. Bad sex
10. Bad food
11. Bad booze

Seeing the Leafs win the Stanley Cup would be off the charts. Being on an incredible roll at a craps table or knocking someone out at the final table of a poker tournament would be between 2 and 3. Catching a foul ball at a World Series game was somewhere between #1 and #2. Getting a bad lapdance is probably around #10.5.

Is this clear?

So, how about those Mets?
 

These rules do not square with my experiences, particularly if we interpret "the other end of the (truck) scale" to mean "if she orders the surf and turf, finishes it, and has dessert too."

But I don't think I've dated any of you.

Bennifer Assfleck
 

This has got to be a joke. These people are so fucking attention hungry. If not, just go and get married or have a JotP come to your house and do it and then have a party afterwards. Don't they have another movie coming out? That would explain all of this hype. Oh yeah, I like the way Britney Spears is described as a "longtime fan." What, she doesn't even rate "friend?"

Ben & Jen Wedding Postponed!

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck's wedding is on hold! Big stars have already arrived at the nuptial neighborhood, where news is fast breaking that Hollywood's royal wedding has been postponed.

The stunning news is that the couple has postponed due to the relentless media circus. The news has everyone scrambling and is affecting countless plans. Wedding guests are being contacted via telephone and told about the change.

Britney Spears, using a false name, already checked in at the Santa Barbara Four Seasons Biltmore. Access can also confirm that Miss Spears was to be attending the wedding. Just last month she went to Ben's birthday bash. She's a longtime fan of Ben.

In addition to the media frenzy surrounding the wedding, another perfect example of the craziness the couple has been facing are the numerous tabloid reports. London's Daily Mail is reporting that Jennifer was insisting on a "no cheating" prenuptial agreement, stipulating that if Ben is unfaithful, she is entitled to go after half of his money. Sources supposedly told the paper that Ben has agreed to the terms. The story, however, is pure fiction.

Tune in to Access Hollywood tonight for more details on the postponed Bennifer nuptials!

So, how about those Mets?
 

I dunno. Cooking for women can lead to both vast quantities of food and considerable other activity. But the key was always pacing. Somewhere between the second and fourth courses, definitely not after dessert, was a good time to make a move. And there is something about the kitchen floor...

But when you cook at home you can pace the meal over many hours with several bottles of good wine, and are not simply stuffing it in as fast as a waiter can bring it.

So, how about those Mets?
 

so apparently your priorities are

food
booze
sex

? You woudl rather get your fifty bucks worth than laid? Why not have em both and make a date with TM's momma.?

So, how about those Mets?
 

Not with the women Taxwonk dates.

Thurgreed(so many momma jokes teed up with this post)Marshall

So, how about those Mets?
 

Please explain. I am way confused. She eats light, you get sex? I thought it was "robust appetite, animal in bed"?

I need a guide on how to be a chick. I lost mine years ago. Women are confusing and I don't like it.

So, how about those Leafs?
 

And if they remember to take their geritol, they might just do it this year. (go Niewendyk! and all the other 40 yr olds)

Sad news for Thrasher
 

I'd ask you to send me the sperm, but I don't want the father of my kids to be so obnoxious.

Hey TM, maybe you could oblige me.

So, how about those Mets?
 

Are you impressed, or repulsed?

So, how about those Mets?
 

I find a healthy appetite attractive. If some HOT girl is sitting across from me and eats everything in sight, my thoughts are still on sex.

If she's hot, she can pick her nose at the dinner table for all I care...

Bennifer Assfleck
 

I hate these people. here is the real story- all along it is wedding in october in their fifteen million buck digs in or around Savannah (how can a house cost that much in Savannah?). This SB leak, courtesy of Heather Desnt Exist from Wisnesota to stir publicity for them since everyone is fed up with the other bullshit.

Britney Spears checks in five days early ? Methinksnot. And fuck her while I am at it.

So, how about those Mets?
 

Guys, do NOT think that this same rule applies to you.

Feeeeeeed Meeeeeeee
 

I'm confused. Do you really find a healthy appetite attractive, or is the amount of food consumed just immaterial because, well, she's hot?

So, how about those Mets?
 

No shit. It's been a good day for that, hasn't it. Happy to have played my part with the poker explanation. Any time someone needs some real meaty softballs thrown, I'm always happy to lob 'em.