How does one do it?
 

No easy answers there- congrats on the brazenette, first.

some ways others have coped (some of these are mine, not all): sneak in all the time you can get (I used to wake up early to work, then play for a little while and go in on the late side- others have different strategies)- it won't make you stop missing her, but it helps each day to know you've had some real time; look for child care closer to work so you can visit, or have dad bring her by once in a while for lunch until the acuteness of it all wears off a little; call her and talk to dead air (this one's for you, anyway, who cares if she can't talk back); make her bedtime as late as she can stand it and still be rested in the morning, so she can have some time with you in the evening after dinner; close your door if you have to cry and go ahead. For me, when I stopped pumping at work it made a big difference- a combination of hormones being back in balance and not having the regular reminder that the pump ain't the real thing (only when you're otherwise ready to wean her, of course).

It's never easy; at some point you will know whether its going to get better for you or whether you need to make a change. Good luck!

Ummmm....How does one do it?
 

My suggestions (besides getting up a littler earlier in the morning):

1. This doesn't work for everyone, but I used to get Vietbabe up around 11 pm before I went to bed and played with her. She was all goofy and tired, but she was able to go back to sleep no problem after about 30 hour or 45 minutes of play. The next day when I was at work I felt like I had snatched some quality time. Worth a try.

2. While at work, at lunchtime shop for clothes, toys and such over the Internet. Looking through the toys on the Internet and thinking about what the little one would like is fun.

3. At lunchtime, I'd walk to a grocer and wander to find some new foods for the little one to try, like new fruit, or pick up bananas, a little toy or blankie here or there.

4. If you commute by train or bus - put together a photo album or some other task while on there. If by car, call friends and family by cell phone. Doing any of these things will involve doing something or talking about the little one, and will also free up your time when you are not working/commuting - so more time to spend with the little one.

PS - the Mommy Brain gets better. I was unable to engage in analytical thought until a few months. It comes back, it really does.

Good Luck!!

Vietmom
(No more fever; back to normal!)

Overnight Extra Pay
 

Hi fellow Mom and Dad Esq's. I'm curious what "extra" you'd pay a full time Nanny who spent the night (during the workweek) because of a business trip. In addition to spending the night, she stayed an hour later the next evening after her usual leaving time. She is really wonderful and I want to err on the high side. She's been working usually 8 am to 7 pm (because of a big project) M-F and she clears 500 a week (I pay her taxes). We never discussed payment for this type of thing and I don't expect too many overnights throughout the year. I gave her 1/2 day off the next day and will give her cut hours the rest of the week but I'd also like to give extra money on payday.

Thanks!!

Vietmom

every parent's worst nightmare
 

Escaped gorilla snatches two-year-old.
(spree: CNN)

every parent's worst nightmare
 

That does it! Bring in the biplanes; we're taking that mofo* down!

*Special bonus points to anyone who catches this reference.

every parent's worst nightmare
 

Um, Jim Brosnahan?

every parent's worst nightmare
 

Penn & Teller reference. My wife was pulled on stage for MoFo in the old off broadway show. I hope this isn't too outing.

every parent's worst nightmare
 

I'm not sure an escaped gorilla is more a nightmare than a teen daughter coming after you. At least with the gorilla you can hope the cops show with tranquilizer darts.

every parent's worst nightmare
 

Saw the 2 year old girl on TV last night; not looking too bad (cut on left side of face, just some bruises and no real damage from where he jumped on her). She liked the cameras.

Let me say I have many far worse nightmares.

And I worry about far more unlikely scenarios, too.

every parent's worst nightmare
 

Some perspective: a resident of the community around the zoo (a neighborhood identified by many with poverty and violence more than its proximity to the zoo) said he was worried about his children going outside, not going to the zoo.

Also, it appears Little Joe didn't just snatch up the child randomly- she was being held by an 18-year-old who was trying to hold the pavillion doors closed so that he couldn't escape. Whether that was good judgment or not on her part, it is somehow a little less alarming that he would strike out at someone he believed was fighting with him than to think of him roaming the park like a predator comitting random violence. And I have to believe that in a match between gorilla and 2 year old, she would have been much more badly hurt (she was released from the hospital with some bruises and stitches) if he really was trying to harm her.

I know its terrifying for her and her family, but there's talk around Boston of euthanizing Little Joe, and I think someone's got to stick up for him.

every parent's worst nightmare
 

The 18 year old sounds like a real pistol. When the gorilla grabbed the kid, the 18 year old got the gorilla to come after her instead, suffering a bit in the process. That's the 18 year old I want watching my kid.


One thing that I have found amazing here in the big city is how little ability people have to interact with or deal with animals, even domestic ones. The youngest greedseed is afraid of almost all animals, and it's tough to fix that because greedseed isn't around them. You go to the zoo and there's always something (maybe not enough) between you and the animals. You go to a petting zoo and the animals are ultra-docile, in a small space, and overwhelmed. For bigger kids you can do things like horseback riding, but that's really not appropriate under age 5 or 6. Anyone have any good places to go, maybe weekend trips somewhere in the Northeast, to expose kids to animals?

every parent's worst nightmare
 

How about finding out about volunteering at the local humane society or similar animal adoption organization? Ussually they are happy to have someone walk the dogs or cuddle the kittens...

You get to teach the Greedseed about animals, how to approach them, care for them, etc...and you get to teach the Greedseed about volunteerism as well. Double whammy.

every parent's worst nightmare
 

There's always the classic Drumlin Farm. At least it was considered a classic when I went there 25 years ago (or whatever).

every parent's worst nightmare
 

Excellent idea.

And yes, Drumlin farms is a classic, but at this point we've overdone it. The other good place we've found in the same vein is Shelburne Farms just outside of Burlington, VT.

every parent's worst nightmare
 

I totally agree. The absence of basic exposure to common sense information about animals may explain why the 18 year old chose to engage the gorilla in conflict, rather than take the baby and get out of the way.

Around this time of year, there are often "farm festivals" in various communities that straddle the suburban/rural line, with access to farm animals, sheepdog herding demonstrations, stuff like that. There are also still functioning dairies and other farms within easy range of the city that might give tours, or at least let kids peek in and see what the animals do. Ranger Rick magazine (yes, its still around) is also a big hit in my house, as are the various Nature-type programs about wild animals.