Friendster?
 

Please don't wait until you find true love to tell us your stories. True love is not interesting to anyone except the participants. We want to hear about the comically bad dates and the sex. Also, don't wait until the report is complete; it's never too early to share, your early impressions are probably the most entertaining, anyway.

In other words, put up or shut up.

Friendster?
 

Actually, what you should do, is while you are hooking up, have your laptop and/or PDA (as in a palm pilot not a public display of affection) available, and post the details as they happen. If you have one of those cell phones or PDAs that take pictures you could post, all the better.

It could be our own version of a reality show. Unfortunately we wouldn't be able to offer the winner a million bucks.

this isn't debate camp
 

Um, Skinny? You do remember you're a New York corporate lawyer right?

Dumbass motherfucker, you ARE the man.

It's official: LFB is "Unsexy"
 

I fucking knew it as soon as I read it that you would not be able to resist. Predictable. Shows how little you know though -- my pussies do give a fuck about me so it doesn't apply. :P

Friendster?
 

And bear this rule in mind:
19. Little digital cameras on your cell phone. These are for taking dirty pictures and posting them online, not for snapping your fully clothed friends in bars. When will the populace understand this?

this isn't debate camp
 

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall

I know a street corner where you can join in, talking about the exploitation of the REAL twelve tribes of Israel.

Friendster?
 

I am being disciplined by a lilac-colored kitchen appliance. I am truly frightened. Um . . . truly frightened sir.

It's official: LFB is "Unsexy"
 

Attachment to a human mammal that doesn't give a fuck about you is what really bespeaks emotional damage.

Right, sweetie?

Friendster?
 

Two words: web cam.

Two more: live feed.

Update from the Stalin Boards
 

Yes, they've been reduced to a vast desolate landscape of sockery. But Las Vegas and Steven Tyler are each living proof that even the loins of a craggy wasteland can occasionally produce something beautiful.

Posted today on the SF/SV board:

I like the cut of this man's jib.

Link.

This is old, but Triumph the insult dog on hollywood squares.

http://www.bordergatewayprotocol.net...od_squares.mpg


Oh and this from his site

When you see me on Hollywood Squares, you can rest assured I was offered a lot of money, and that I got to sniff the center square's crotch. Why else would I slum on this poophole? This is a show that's not even good enough for Whoopi Goldberg to do anymore. So when a comic with stylings of my caliber participates, you'd think the last thing they'd do is cut any of my zingers. But apparently they felt some of the jokes would alienate their core audience of shut-ins and mah jong clubs. Here's a taste of what you missed as I feasted on the dregs of show business.

"Hey Ellen DeGeneres, the new center square. What a huge comedown. I kid, she's not here permanently, she's rotating with Burt Reynolds and Alec Baldwin. Interesting...I thought you only rotated with chicks."

"Martin Mull...I knew your career was in a slump. I chased a bus last week and you were driving it. Look at you...you're one year away from being the new Wilford Brimley."

"Little Richard...you really paved the way for me...you were the first major star to have a hand up his butt."

"Anna Nicole, you're gonna be rich. It's not fair. I sniff an old man's crotch and I get hit with a cane. She gets 89 million. Hey Ellen, you get to be center square, but remember, you're very lucky. It's only because Anna Nicole ate Whoopi."

"Engelbert Humperdinck...great to see you again. He and I worked at the same Casino in Atlantic City. I was on stage and he was parking cars. Seriously, help Engelbert out folks. This guy needs a hit worse than Robert Downey Jr."

Of course, none of these made it. But nothing could've saved this Hollywood Squares. The show sucked so hard the sides of my TV caved in.

Update from the Stalin Boards
 

It's so, um, refreshing to see "literally" used correctly and to such effect.

Friendster?
 

Since it's Friday and the board seems to have died suddenly, here's a tale.

I was contacted by a guy ("G"). Not a very interesting note and not terribly attractive but what the hell, I replied. The email exchange was almost immediately boring but I think it's hard for strangers to write emails to each other. We talk on the phone to arrange a date. The conversation was better than the email so I think maybe he's shy.

We meet for dinner. He looks cuter in real life than I expected. I have a better time than I expected. G invites me to a concert in a month's time. I foolishly say yes.

We go out a second time. We meet at a "hip" bar in my neighborhood. He's twitching because the band is not playing the kind of music he heard when he was there earlier in the week. So we mosey down to another place that's a little quieter so we can talk. By 11 pm, he's telling me about which events he did in HS track. I start thinking "Kill me now."

Soon, I say I need to get home. On the street, he shoves his tongue in my mouth. I pull away. Ick, really crappy kisser.

For our third date, we plan to go to an free, outdoor concert. He's super rigid about bringing food and chairs (I'm not allowed to do anything). I'm hanging with friends who live close to where G and I are meeting up so my friend ("F") tags along to meet G. Long story short, F is not impressed. At the concert, I try to find out more about G in an attempt to see the human beyond the robot. G is largely nonresponsive except for thrilling details about tomatoes in his garden and the like. While telling me about his garden, he nodded a lot and I started to think I was out with Forrest Gump. When we part, he does not try to kiss me. I speculate that it's because I mentioned that I'd had a cold the week before.

Fourth date is the concert. By now, I've had enough but felt it would be mean to blow him off right before the show. During the show, G paws me and I'm polite but far from responsive. I carefully sidestep attempts to make plans to attend future concerts together. When we part, he again sticks his tongue in my mouth.

A day or so passes and he emails me to ask me out again. I write back and say something about the relationship not developing the way I'd hope, no thanks. He writes back, what? We didn't get closer because you had a cold!!

This is a typical, not terribly funny date. But I learned if the guy bores me on email, it's not gonna get any better.

this isn't debate camp
 

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick

Of that I've no doubt, unlike say, the plated, who's claimed to be terribly average in the physical department, but for TM to be as hot as he is cool is a statistical improbability.



Change up, SS doesn't need a haircut, because he already has a real job.

Friendster?
 

Shut up or I'll give you a makeover you'll never forget.