Metrosexuality RIP
 

My friends have discussed the theory that Stacey Pressman is not a real person, but rather an ESPN created "Simone" character. I've googled her name and found nothing. And that picture of her on ESPN2's site looks too digital to be real. Plus, she's funny, smart and she LOVES football (and by that I mean she can explain different defenses). And fake or not, in her picture she looks really hot. Her favorite thing in the world is giving blowjobs, and roadhead is what turns her on the most...

Metrosexuality RIP
 

Are you saying women cannot be funny, smart, and LOVE football?

stream of consciousness much?
 

I just saw the Honda SUV commercial with the wife talking about how the off-road features are important because her husband was raised by wolves. Funny.

Speaking of SUVs, I'm pissed because Hummer uses a great old song, "Happy Jack," in their latest commercial. (Thanks for selling out to shill fricken Hummers, Pete -- oh, and by the way, these Hummers are gargantuan SUVs, not blow jobs from "rough boys.")

And speaking of commercials, I hate that commercial for the ESPN outdoor reality show that airs every 30 seconds or so during SportsCenter -- I am so incredibly sick of seeing that tough guy say "everybody knows I never cry," followed by the shot of him sobbing in the dark.

And speaking of ESPN, when exactly did they decide that they didn't want to show sports anymore? Is this like MTV's decision to stop showing music videos? I blame Disney. Drop the reality shows and bring back Australian Rules football, Mister Eisner!

Metrosexuality RIP
 

Interesting theory. I wonder if espn may have outsmarted themselves if your theory is true. I enjoy roadhead, but my knowledge of defenses basically comes from EA Sports. I may find such breadth of knowledge intimidating. On the other hand, I may find her instruction inspirational. And I'd gladly hit Suzy Kolber, so who knows?

We're all next on Paigow's ignore list
 

But do they have to be entertaining to be acceptable?

Metrosexuality RIP
 

Now, it all makes sense. I couldn't figure out why you kept calling me "Suzy."

Freak.

We're all next on Paigow's ignore list
 

Jesus Paigs, this is a new low. The appropriate reply to Less' post is "uncle."

If its OK to post windbag nonsense on the FB, then why the flaming about others being "blustery"?

I ain't flaming here, I'm just really confused. I'm beginning to think fucking you would be like being in an orgy.

S(A little consistency is necessary... not much, just a little)D

Metrosexuality RIP
 

Of course they can.

But she's Bill Walsh in a hot girl's body.

We're all next on Paigow's ignore list
 

Less, I'm disappointed. I read this opening and expected a sonnet to Paigow.

Thy eternal summer shall not fade.

We're all next on Paigow's ignore list
 

Nonsense, Sebby. Didn't you ever enjoy the neverending personality switches of "The Three Faces of Eve"?

Didja Miss Me?
 

Apparently they have a more refined sense of beauty than you.

We're all next on Paigow's ignore list
 

No way I could do a proper sonnet with the correct rhyming in the octave and the sestet. That said, I would call it "Fourteen Lines About Fourteen Women."

We're all next on Paigow's ignore list
 

If you two don't get a room, it's gonna be more like Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.

We're all next on Paigow's ignore list
 

And with that lame response, bilmore broke the board again. Fuck.

The Day's Awards
 

Well, kids, thanks for tuning in. We've counted up all the votes from the judges, and the winners are in. For a special treat, not only are we giving the first PAIGSoTD award for longest meaningless post, but we're also kicking in the Geraldo award for making it all about me, another derivative little joke which, like all worthwhile humor, ultimately originates from Paigow.

For third place, for her posts on the Bilmore award, the judges name: PaigowPrincess!

Coming in second and often, for her posts on reality TV, PaigowPrincess!

And, coming in first, beating herself yet again, and again, for her lively repartee with Les, Paigow Princess!

And, indeed, for the Geraldo award, do any of you have any doubt?

Remember, it's all about the Paigs! (She's so vain I'll bet she thinks this post is about her...)

Now, everyone, let's look to make this competitive. Remember, long, meaningless posts. You can do it!