LawTalkers - Fashionistas you have arrived 3-25-03

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
I vote "hoax." No matter how much they like sports, girls who went to Columbia (Barnard! {cough} Barnard!) do not give good roadhead.

Prove me wrong, Lady Lions . . . stink_stank_stunk@hotmail.com . . . .

You are wrong sir.

Now, while it is a known fact that Barnard girls give bad head (submission to patricarchal oppression combining with the pressure to remain the kind of girl one of those nice Columbia men will marry), College girls are pretty good at it. It is the whole "geek cutting loose" thing, you know, like Catholic girls on a weekend furlough. It's a question of enthusiam.

And as for roadhead, well, after the games, given how hugely the football team sucks, we become inspired experts just by example.

If there is a lack of head-giving among Columbia women, however, you must acknowledge that the primary cause of that. You've seen Columbia men. I recall a college fight song about just that:

"Snore, lion, snore!
If this is sex, I'd rather be a virgin.
You think you're debonaire and cool,
But you know, to all of us you're just a tool.
Columbia! Columbia!
Why can't you keep it up?
So snore, lion snore,
Have you forgotten what your dick is for?"

Hail, Columbia!

ltl/fb

09-23-2003 01:20 PM

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Quote:

Originally posted by Not Bob
Yeah. I hate it when that happens. I mean, so freaking what that Piggly-Wiggly has millions (well, ok, thousands...uh, fine, hundreds -- happy?) of dollars at stake when I go into a trial. So what if I say in opening that "any moron blind enough not to see moldy banana goo on the floor by aisle two deserves what he gets"? Or that I insert the word "not" into the causation portion of the transcript of the plaintiff's expert's depo?

Judges. They can be so anal about that stuff.

Really. I mean, if we had wanted to be in a field where words are important, we would have become like landscapers or something. Geez.

Luckily, SD is like the bestest litigator ever (as he's assured us many times) who can cream any lawyer out there because lawyers are big dumbasses etc. etc. (and if female, highly unattractive which I guess goes toward stupidity as well but I can't quite figure out the connection) and his clients are so lucky to have him instead of some big dumbass lawyer person.

Tyrone Slothrop

09-23-2003 01:22 PM

Ding dong, recession's gone

Quote:

Originally posted by Lexus Talionis
Ahem.

I have it on good authority that Gibson Dunn DC is looking for junior to midlevel lateral associates to work on litigation matters. I don't work there, so don't ask me for details. Just look up the name of a likely associate in that office, tell them that he/she located you, and they'll get $10,000 or so, assuming that you pan out, of course. Maybe they'll even give you some if you're nice.

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

The only problem with this being that you would have to work at Gibson Dunn's DC office.

Tyrone Slothrop

09-23-2003 01:33 PM

Strange Poll

Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
More farm country weirdness: this may be pretty normal for people who have knowledge of farms. It was strange to me.

My car broke down in farm country. Nothing for miles but farms, but I know there's a town about 4 miles ahead so I get out and start hiking it. I come upon a herd of cows. About 100 of them. Their eyes all follow me. As I walk by, the entire herd starts to follow me. I'm on the road side of the fence; the cows are on the other. Coltrane was the pied piper of cows for about a half-mile. I'd look back, and 10 feet behind were the cows. All staring at me and following me. I was pretty amused.

Good God, man! You should be thankful you escaped with your life!

Shape Shifter

09-23-2003 01:35 PM

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Quote:

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Luckily, SD is like the bestest litigator ever (as he's assured us many times) who can cream any lawyer out there because lawyers are big dumbasses etc. etc. (and if female, highly unattractive which I guess goes toward stupidity as well but I can't quite figure out the connection) and his clients are so lucky to have him instead of some big dumbass lawyer person.

I suspect that you're being sarcastic, but c'mon. If litigation is a crapshoot, who else would you want rolling those 12-sided dice?

sebastian_dangerfield

09-23-2003 01:36 PM

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Quote:

Originally posted by bilmore
You probably already know this, but that's a real dangerous attitude in this business, one that can screw you over in a heartbeat if you're not careful. Don't get so tied up in process that you stop thinking about the substance - i.e., the client's fight. Our role in the fights is just what you say - but the consequences to others are real, and will be to you, too, if you are actually believing (and living) what you just typed.

Bilmore,

Dude, when you have people throwing shit in your face all day and demanding the unreasonable and ready to sue your ass for malpractice in a heartbeat because they're fucking sleazbags who'd sell mom and the kids for another buck, you develop a "me first" attitude. I can't stay up till midnight anymore for swine, and being measured only by your most recent mistake is no way to live everyday. You either do your best and let the cards fall where they may or lose your mind trying to produce the impossible.

S(What consequences? No one can put me in jail for deciding to phone it in)D

Theres and Thats

09-23-2003 01:40 PM

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Quote:

Originally posted by paigowprincess
I love this new role you have of SD monitor. I am enjoying it so much that I started to post something about how great it was to see a "lawyers are losers who play Dungeons andDragons " rant by SD when I realized I would be stepping on your turf. I applaud your work in this area for its humor and originality, and also for its backdoor tribute to a classic poster. Much like my Bilmore award, yet totally not like it at all. I think you should take it to the next level, whatever that is, and only you can decide. Because you are Not Derivative and funny. Gcubed could learn a thing or ten from you, madam. Keep up the good work and dont you start phoning it in.

Ooooh, yes, I couldn't have said it better myself! Ain't she grand? And the anality of her anal comments is just so, well, double entendrish! TM, take note of her subtle anality.

Theres & Thats (not a backdoor tribute)

:sportswav

ltl/fb

09-23-2003 01:42 PM

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Quote:

Originally posted by Shape Shifter [re: SD]
litigation is a crapshoot

And who could be better at shooting crap?

Edited to say the crap would be shooting out of the mouth, not that he would be obliterating the crap of others with a special ray gun or something.

ltl/fb

09-23-2003 01:43 PM

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Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
throwing shit in your face all day

And I hadn't even read this yet!

paigowprincess

09-23-2003 01:49 PM

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Quote:

Originally posted by Theres and Thats
Ooooh, yes, I couldn't have said it better myself! Ain't she grand? And the anality of her anal comments is just so, well, double entendrish! TM, take note of her subtle anality.

Theres & Thats (not a backdoor tribute)

:sportswav

You are not a tribute sock, you are a stalker sock or a fan. A tribute sock would be a dumpy rhodes or the divine miss maude or less effectively, Bilmore's inner cynic. Someone who emulates the tributee. I am not sure of your genesis or when you first emerged, but it would nto surprise me if you started as a no theme sock, or just some random secondary who at the last second thought of going after RP. I think this bc you dont really have effective moves. though i could be wrong.

now granted, RP might be a hard poster to tribute bc, while genius, she doesnt seem to have a visible posting style, beyond the incessant editing. if you truly want to take the challenge of tributing her, you might want to do a really OCD sock. toss in a couple of her known posting traits, like flirting with wonk, talking about long island. its a tough gig, and its made tougher that while RP has a persona, its very meta. A good rule to follow for tributing might be to stick to posters who form a visual image or voice in your head of how they sound as you read them. Thurgreed seems to ahve done this for many. RP, not so much. Actually, I had the image of Mercenary Melissa from Millionaire for PJ before she departed for the Ignore List. Anyway, I wish you luck in your endeavors.

bilmore

09-23-2003 01:49 PM

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Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
You either do your best and let the cards fall where they may or lose your mind trying to produce the impossible.

As long as you have this part in there, I'm not disagreeing with you. I was just afraid you were meaning something less than that.

And, what consequences? Suit, liability over limits, license loss, clients with guns, reputation trashed - lots of things.

sebastian_dangerfield

09-23-2003 01:49 PM

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Quote:

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Really. I mean, if we had wanted to be in a field where words are important, we would have become like landscapers or something. Geez.

Luckily, SD is like the bestest litigator ever (as he's assured us many times) who can cream any lawyer out there because lawyers are big dumbasses etc. etc. (and if female, highly unattractive which I guess goes toward stupidity as well but I can't quite figure out the connection) and his clients are so lucky to have him instead of some big dumbass lawyer person.

Oh Lord, I knew i'd get my nuts handed to me for the "fuck words" rant...

Hey sweetie, I was not clipped by Judge Anal for stumbling and saying "without prejudice" where I should have said "with prejudice." I was using a hypertechnical meaning of a certain word to skirt a court order and the judge threw a hissy fit. I was left to backpedal and got caught with my hand in the cookie jar, but the judge didn't need to be a cock about it. He knows its my job to play with the words to my client's advantage, so he shouldn't get all, well, judgmental on me for doing so.

PS: What's up with the "fat" comment? Where in my post do I deride the obese? And why would you bring up past comments... are you a li' porky and pissed about my prior posts? If so, put down the Ho-hos and go jogging at lunch instead of sitting at your desk writing on this board.

Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)

09-23-2003 01:55 PM

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Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
I was using a hypertechnical meaning of a certain word to skirt a court order and the judge threw a hissy fit. I was left to backpedal and got caught with my hand in the cookie jar, but the judge didn't need to be a cock about it. He knows its my job to play with the words to my client's advantage, so he shouldn't get all, well, judgmental on me for doing so.

I thought Bill Clinton was disbarred.

purse junkie

09-23-2003 02:03 PM

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Quote:

Originally posted by bilmore
As long as you have this part in there, I'm not disagreeing with you. I was just afraid you were meaning something less than that.

And, what consequences? Suit, liability over limits, license loss, clients with guns, reputation trashed - lots of things.

Bilmore, lawyers' reputations can't get any worse. Competency questions are the least of our problems.

As to clients with guns, that's why I like in-house work. What, they're going whack me then have to outsource to some huge firm for $400 an hour? The cost-benefit analysis is clearly on the side of keeping me ticking.

sebastian_dangerfield

09-23-2003 02:10 PM

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Quote:

Originally posted by bilmore
And, what consequences? Suit, liability over limits, license loss, clients with guns, reputation trashed - lots of things.

1. Liability over limits - Good luck. Everything is in tenancies by entireties. Effectively judgment proof in these parts (and there ain't enough to warrant execution anyway).

2. Suit - See # 1 above. I'll offer a stipulated judgment. Just ttry to collect.

3. License loss - Excellent. It'll keep me out of court forever.

4. Clients with guns - Ok, Touche.

5. Reputation trashed - I'll be dead in 40 years. Who cares.

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