Signatures
 

I think you should look to someone who has a kitty avatar.

so my roomate in college was a pathological liar. Turns out she was stealing from me as well. Someone told me that they had seen her in one of my dresses. When I went to look for it, it was gone. I asked her about it, she denied it. Later that week when I was down in the laundry room, I saw my "dry-clean only" torn to shreds in the washer. I asked around to see if anyone knew anything about it. No. Weeks later, when the pictures from the winter dance came back, there she was, in my dress.
After she had been kicked out of school for grades, we found out that she had not only stolen money, clothes and food from us, but she had stolen someone's bike and had been caught shoplifting at many stores in the neighborhood. Turns out she had a heinous drug/alcohol/food addiction that she could not support on no income.

speaking of Ed Belfour's back
 

Is this word -- effrontery -- spelled correctly? Spell checker says yes (or rather, it didn't say no), but it just looks wrong. Not that the person I just sent an email to with that word in it is some sort of spelling timmy or anything.

Oh, and per the re line:

Pat Quinn is Not Pleased
goaltending woes continue
will Dryden suit up?

SF Sues California
 

Can a city sue a state?

San Francisco to sue California
over gay marriage prohibitions

Issue gaining traction nationally;
Bush says he's 'troubled' by S.F. actions

Also, I'm not going to get political here, but it sounds like Bush is softening. I remember a time where he said he would absolutely without question oppose gay marriages. Now he just says it troubles him.

sue me sue me sue me

Good god
 

"So when somebody has B.O., the "O" usually stays with the "B".
Once the "B" leaves, the "O" goes with it."

I'd have better not just gotten some cab driver's "O". My god did he stink.


There should be a B.O. squad that patrols the city like a "Smell
Gestapo". To sniff 'em out, strip 'em down, and wash them with a big, soapy brush...

Signatures
 

I am not Prudie. Leagl is probably not Prudie. Must be PLF, who really should have a flower as an avatar. Or at least a kitten dressed up like a flower like it's in Genesis or something. Or whichever musical group that had Phil Collins in it dressed as a flower.

Good god
 

I'll support your program if you support mine. That people who NEVER brush their teeth should have their mouths sewn shut so as to prevent the breathing of the breath that smells like something died. Or at least keep these people off public transportation so that they can't sit next to you. I always get the guy who wants to sigh a lot after he's had something die in his mouth.

speaking of Ed Belfour's back
 

You spelled the word correctly.

Hopefully the person you just sent an email to with that word in it is not some sort of pretentiousness timmy or anything.

Farking around.
 

Engineering undergrad bluffs his way through two-days' worth of global econ lectures to Chinese Ph.D. candidates; basically just reads textbook aloud.

And in other academic hijinks, someone finally took a professor up on that old chestnut about an automatic "A" for stripping nude in class, and the school doesn't even have the decency to follow through with the promise.

Farking around.
 

If people were so shocked and appalled, they should have stopped the kid before he did it. I assume that would have been possible unless he was wearing stripper tear-aways. I think the professor could have pulled out the Triumph line at the time of the disrobing -- "eye keed, eye keed"

You know who I hate?
 

Joe from The Real World Miami season. What a turd. He looked down at everyone else because he was in the process of getting an MBA, tried to make them all rely on him for the business plan then totally bailed once they did rely on him, almost flunked out of business school because he wasn't paying attention to what was going on when he needed to, dated that crazy freak tall girl and made coo coo noises at her while proclaiming to all how wonderful his relationship was, and otherwise generally annoyed me.

It all came flooding back to me when I saw an ad for his book about his experience on the series. I hope his publisher charged him to publish that rag. What a loser. I'd put him in my death pool picks just out of spite, but I'm not sure any major news outlets would bother to carry his obit.

Hmm. I feel a lot better now. Continue.

In Praise of Maura Tierney
 

Let us now come together in praise of Maura Tierney. Ms. Tierney is an actress equally adept at comedy and drama. Even when she has to play down her looks, she's always appealing onscreen, but in a way that never threatens the female audience. On NewsRadio as the overachieving Lisa Miller, she complemented ace comic actors Dave Foley, Phil Hartman, and Stephen Root. On ER, her Nurse Abby redeems a show which has not been compelling for several years. She's completely credible in whatever role she plays, even when the plot isn't.

I give you Oxygen as Exhibit A. Ms. Tierney plays a cop into S&M who has to save a rich woman from a kidnapper. Despite its B-movie shell and rip-off plot, Ms. Tierney rewards you for spending ninety minutes with her.

Exhibit B is Scotland, PA where she sinks her claws into an updated version of Lady Macbeth with an earthy performance that makes the whole film rise above post-ironic, hey-can-we-get-Christopher-Walken-to-play-Macduff cheese. Her husband, the director Billy Morrissette, wouldn't have anything more than an SNL sketch without her.

Now with Welcome to Mooseport Ms. Tierney plays opposite Ray Romano and Gene Hackman as the love interest. One clip shows her throwing her underwear at Mr. Romano, who is worried that he will lose her to ex-president Hackman. I'm guessing the movie doesn't deal with the fact that Mr. Romano should have been insecure about his status with Ms. Tierney a long time before Mr. Hackman arrives in town.

Ms. Tierney deserves better than we have given her. For that, she deserves our praise... and a better agent. Str8, I'm looking in your direction.

edited to add link to imdb.org 'cause I'm so freakin' considerate.

various
 

Jack, would have been a better "in praise of" if you'd included a picture of Maura or at least a link to a picture. Now I have to go look her up to be sure I'm thinking of the right person. Initially I was thinking of the chick in "Just Shoot Me" who was in "Sex, Lies and Videotape."

Today, I was driving back from lunch and there was a bright yellow H-2 on my left and another behind me. Yuck. But happily one of them had turned off somewhere when the other one passed me and I realized that if one of those ever hit directly on the side of the car, my entire window (or the passenger's window) would be slammed by the front bumper and it's accoutrements. That is just CRAZY. It almost seemed like the window would receive the first impact because, you know, the delicate H-2 needs a big honking grill on the front to protect its fragile lights. I am sure, SURE, that must just be my imagination.

But, and prepare yourselves here, I am about to say something nice about SUVs, kinda. I like the Honda Element ad where it is made with all the legos falling from the sky, because the Honda Element has always looked to me (and obviously everyone else) like it's made out of legos.

In Praise of Maura Tierney
 

I rise in support of Rep. Manfred's resolution, adding also that Ms. Tierney has also distinguished herself by rising to the Herculean challenge of adding some modicum of gravitas and pathos to a Jim Carrey vehicle, a feat previously accomplished by substantially more esteemed actresses like Laura Linney (and soon Meryl Streep). This, among her accomplishments, is deserving of some recognition.

I confess my esteem is motivated somewhat by my unlimited love of the name "Maura" and my desire to bang the shit out of this particular Maura.

You know who I hate?
 

Half-credit answer.

The full-credit answer is that you should hate everyone from all seasons of the Real World. You should even think that the parts of AHWOSG date and almost ruin the book. That show is no more redeemable than an extra value meal after it has been digested. You want it. You don't know why you want it. You sort of don't want it while you're having it. You still can't stop yourself from finishing it. You're sick after it. You're disappointed in yourself for wanting it in the first place. You resolve to never want it again... until you want it again.

Of course, the only exception to that rule is Julie from the first season. She was adorable and had the good sense to never appear on anything ever again. Exception proves the rule.

http://www.mtv.com/onair/realworld/a...then_rw1_5.jpg

Except when looking for this picture, I see that she co-stars with Heather and other Real World alumni in Norman's film comedy The Wedding Video. I guess some laws really are absolute.

Cautionary Tale
 

Beware of those who idolize fictional characters from Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas:

An 18-year-old Westchester man agreed Wednesday to accompany authorities to Wisconsin to face charges that he murdered his parents and uncle last weekend in the family's rural Wisconsin farmhouse.

. . .

While the investigation continued, a clearer portrait of Tomporowski emerged in conversations with friends. They described him as a young man who idolized a Johnny Depp film role so much that he dressed like the character. . . . The teen's distinctive clothing style--a Hawaiian shirt, floppy hat and cigarette holder--was borrowed from Depp's role of Raoul Duke in "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas," his favorite movie.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmp...gesinwisconsin

Jesus, Jack, the putting the picture of some random chick in that Real World post after leaving it out of the Maura Tierney post is just like a huge slap in the face. Ouch. Ooooh, or I made someone's ignore list!