Maybe he was . . .

Then he should damn well be polite enough to call beforehand so I will have time to change the poopy toddler before he arrives and feed the baby so he's* not starving and gnawing on my arm the whole time.

I hope you are taking notes, Burger.







*The baby, not the lawyer.

Although I'm sorry this happened to you too, it makes me feel better knowing this happened to you, too. It makes me feel less guilty/stupid/whatever.

Damn, I hate hospitals.

Breastfeeding stuff
 

I don't have much to add (since I never pumped), except to echo what others have already said about breastfeeding being difficult for almost everyone, and doable for almost everyone (I did have one friend with "insufficient glandular tissue" who found out her baby was crying all the time because he was hungry).

With Magnus (and I've probably posted about this before here), he acted like I was trying to kill him and refused to latch on for his first week. I had to pump and feed him with a syringe. He finally did latch on, but for another few weeks only forcibly (I had to use the football hold with my hand on the back of his head to keep him on). Breastfeeding was only easy after about three months, but then we kept it up until 16 months (gradually eliminating feedings starting at a year--I would plan on not going cold turkey if I were you).

With Thor, it's been much much easier from the get-go. His latch isn't perfect (I have a really fast flow on one side, so he tries to pull back so it comes out slower), and now he's getting to that distractable age that results in my nipples being stretched in uncomfortable ways as he tries to look around while still attached, but overall it's been much easier (except for yeast and reflux issues, but those are whole other stories).

Part of the reason I think it's been so different is because of very different birth experiences, which I've also posted about here. For us, shorter labor + really short pushing stage + no epidural = happy baby who nurses and sleeps well.

As for the pushy nurses, I may be experiencing a geographic difference, because I never had them ask to give either of my kids anything. But then the babies basically never left my room (they're both uncirc'ed), and there weren't any complications that required separation. Do you have a birth plan? That might help.

Feel free to PM me with any other questions.

tm

For the record, it happened with me too. Planned c-section. They brought her over to me while I was being sewn up so that I could see her, but I certainly did not hold her. At least an hour more went by until they brought her to me in recovery.

That it happened to me probably does nothing to alleviate the guilt/stupidity/whatever.

Heh. To be fair, a lovely nurse brought the baby over to me to let me see her and kiss her, and my husband held the baby for several minutes while they stitched me up.

thats why I had my second at a birthing center!

ml

A friend of mine is a nurse midwife and had both of her babies at home in her own bed. She looks so happy and comfortable in the pictures right after the babies were born.

I don't think I could do that--especially with a first child--even if I knew there was an extremely high likelihood that everything would go fine. I'd want to have emergency equipment on hand, just in case. Maybe with a second child, where I know what to expect with a birth. I think that at my age, though, a hypothetical second child would be a higher risk pregnancy (assuming at least a year or two between kids, and assuming the first kid isn't any time soon, and assuming no twins (that predisposition passes down the mother's side, right?)).

The birthing center seems like a nice compromise, though.

NOTE: RT is not pregnant and has no plans on being pregnant any time soon.

Another issue is the mess. No way I'd want to be anywhere near my wool carpet at that moment. Bad enough that my water broke at home this time. After just one time of amniotic fluid leaking onto the rug, I decided to head for the hospital to let them deal with cleanup. And don't get me started on the actual delivery!

tm

Hunh?

From subsequent posts, it sounds like this policy is somehow connected to C-section births (which, as it happens, didn't happen with us). With vaginal births, I don't see how this kinda time element would come into play.

Am I surmising this correctly, or is there something else I'm missing.

I think the lengthy delays all involve c-s, but even with a vag. birth they do take them away for a period to measure, wash, immunize, etc. The old school policy was to keep them in the nursery for ages and ages while mom recovered (and then bring baby back eventually, full of formula, of course).

The potential mess was the first thing I thought of when I read RT's post, but then I don't know nothin bout birthin no babies, so I wasn't going to be the first to raise the issue.

Yeah, the whole put-the-baby-on-mommy's-bare-tummy so they can bond thing is a newish invention. They used to just hand the baby to a waiting nurse to be whisked away, dried off, suctioned out, etc. Now they do the drying and suctioning while the baby is on mommy. At least here on the west coast. With Thor, the anesthetic for the stitches for some reason didn't take (this was the one drawback to not having an epidural) and I was howling, so they told the SFC to take his shirt off and bond with the kid. So there are some nice shots with the baby nestled up against a fur carpet. ;)

tm

Wow. This was not at all our experience. Federalism works! In our neck of the woods, I think the nurses were prepared to pee in any bottles of formula they found to stop them from being used.

Vaginal births, no epidurals, no Pitocin. Slimy, bloodied babies were immediately placed on belly and held by me for as long as we wanted -- we were encouraged to let them suckle for a while as well.

Frankly, I think the "let's give the baby a bath" pressure comes from the fact that the nurses find it easier to do all at once. Once that shit dries, it's harder to wipe off with just water and mild soap. Why should nurses be any less lazy than any other American worker? They want to finish up and get back to their dirty nurses' chat boards on company time.