I am a meta-nerd. I can also recite elvish poems in Klingon and tell you some poker odds. I do not go to spin class, or own plaid pants however. There are some lines that men shouldn't cross.

My proud parenting moment is better than yours, dtb.
 

TV is on. The announcer says "Coming up next... Sesame Street." The Brazenette looks at me and screams at the top of her little lungs "I hate Sesame Street! Elmo sucks!"

My proud parenting moment is better than yours, dtb.
 

I've posted this before, but it is a special holiday story.......

My wife was a La leche league devotee- my oldest at 2 was a beautiful (dtb she is beautiful-no?) still being breast fed curly haired little blond girl. She called breasts "nursies."

Anyway, we are all shopping at http://www.bronners.com/ world's largest Xmas store. We were in north michigan in july and just stopped in. It's a place of wonder and peace- all your worries fade away as you walk along aisles of mechanical angels and every Christmas ornaments you might imagine. There is an AISLE of dog ornaments, as an example.

Anyway, our guard is down, Little Kate is walking ahead of us. Coming at us is an enormous fat trailer trash woman. Kate stops and turns to us- pointing "look at her nursies- they're funny!"

Time stops- everyone freezes- they Kate delivers the death blow "She's fat!"

Nice! Be happy your kid is off punching blow up snowmen.

.

My proud parenting moment is better than yours, dtb.
 

This was in public?

We are very proud of his verbal skills
 

Mr. Lex blew his back out a few weeks ago picking up the Lexling at a bad angle from his crib (and then bending back down to grab something else). He yelled, "Fuck!" And so did the baby. Repeatedly. We had to convince him, "Daddy said, 'Stuck!'" Fortunately it worked - not one for the grandparents to hear.

We are very proud of his verbal skills
 

The Brazenette's dad taught her to say "Lying makes the baby Jesus happy". I am so glad I will not be anywhere near the ex-in-laws for Christmas.

My proud parenting moment is better than yours, dtb.
 

I love your kid. Elmo does suck. Whiny, high-pitched little narcissist. Elmo Elmo Elmo.

My husband loves the "cocksucker" story. Something similar is surely in our future.

My proud parenting moment is better than yours, dtb.
 

Careful -- complaining about Elmo to people who lived through Barney is a little bit like complaining about HIV to someone who lived through the 13th century. Yes, it sucks, but if you're allowed to pick your poison you'll pick Elmo ten times out of ten.

My proud parenting moment is better than yours, dtb.
 

The way I get ignored on this board, it's hard to believe I was voted MOST BELOVED POSTER on FB.

My proud parenting moment is better than yours, dtb.
 

Relax. When I said "lived through Barney," I meant Dinosaur. When Sebby called you the "Barney of the Board," I'm pretty sure he either meant Gumble, Frank, or Fife.

My proud parenting moment is better than yours, dtb.
 

W-A-T-E-R

He meant Barney Pennypacker, the namesake of the dorm i lived in Freshman year.

Hank Chinaski
'88 Law '91

My proud parenting moment is better than yours, dtb.
 

My oldest daughter's very first curse word (over a year ago) was "motherfucker." Said it twice in a row. Fortunately, I sucessfully distracted her and she has never said it again (and the wife never heard it).

For quite a while, she would pop out with "Oh, crap!" or "Oh, Christ!" at very appropriate times. We have mostly got rid of that, though.

S_A_M

P.S. I agree with Atticus that Elmo is far preferable to Barney -- and I think Dora, Diego, the Wiggles, and Little Einsteins all beat the heck out of the Smurfs or Stawberry Shortcake. We are blessed.

My proud parenting moment is better than yours, dtb.
 

Our task was to morph the oldest son's appropriation of the word "fuck" into something more benign. "Fiddlesticks" was chosen, pretty successfully.

People still stare, but usually due to wonder at why the child selects a word not in current usage for the past 3 generations.

My proud parenting moment is better than yours, dtb.
 

The baltspawn know that fuck is not an acceptable word. They do not use it in ordinary conversation. However, they love to steer any conversation to include a discussion about a kid at school who uses the word extensively, at which point one can expect a lengthy diatribe as to why the kid is bad for saying "fuck" and a listing of the times he said "fuck" (and "stinky poopy head" - a curse which seems to have much more real meaning to everyone involved), an assurance that no one else says "fuck" in class, etc., the result of which is hear the word "fuck" or "fucking" from the mouth of a three year old about 50 times in a three minute period. A couple of times a day. All in a way that's difficult to argue with.

My proud parenting moment is better than yours, dtb.
 

Send them to me for re-education.