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#17 Less
A Parroty
By LessinSF After deciding that Slave should parody "Never Say Never" by Romeo Void ("I might like you better if we slept together") instead of me, and still lamenting my lost "Two Headhunters and a Fax Machine" from the Yahoo days, I offer this: Fashionistaville Another stale Snickers In two day old knickers All of the paras are out at the bars Drafting’s my mission Requests for admission Stuck in the office, at least can’t get SARS Typing away again in Fashionistaville Searching for my lost integrity Some people claim that it was law school to blame But I know I wish I was Charlie Kuralt I don't know the reason I’ve committed this treason Nothing to show but some red Jimmy Choos But they give me solace Along with my Rolex And telling stories of dragons I slew Typing away again in Fashionistaville Searching for my lost integrity Some people claim that it was law school to blame Now I think I should have studied Gestalt I move in a trance Representing insurance Change my shirt, had to cruise on back home There's Friday night Happy Hour With twelve Pisco Sours That trendy concoction that helps me hang on Typing away again in Fashionistaville Searching for my lost integrity Some people claim that it was law school to blame But I know It was the pay and the Vault Yes and some people claim that it was law school to blame And I know It was the pay and the Vault |
#18 TM
TM's Submission
By Thurgreed Marshall (for original formatting click http://www.lawtalkers.com/forums/sho...8937#post38937) Sung to the tune of Eminem's Lose Yourself: Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity To ridicule everyone you ever wanted - One moment Would you capture it or just let it slip? TM's palms are sweaty Fingers weak Arms are heavy There's vomit in his mouth already "LOL" posts are petty He's nervous But online he looks calm and ready To drop bombs But he keeps on forgetting What he should post now The whole board grows so loud He cracks his knuckles But the words won't come out He's chokin', how Everybody's jokin' now The clock's run out Time's up Over Pow! Snap back to reality Where's the depravity? Oh, there goes Francis He choked He's so mad, but he Won't give up that easy Nope He won't have it He knows his whole back's to these Ropes It don't matter He's dope He knows that But he's broke His debt's stacked And he knows Tonight he gets back To his home turns around and it's Back to the office again, yo This whole work shit He better find a way out and hope it don't pass him You better lose yourself in the FB, like Penske We own it and better never let it go (ho!) You only get one shot to post, so put on a show Or live in the Land of Fu for a lifetime yo You better lose yourself in the FB, like Magnus' mommy We own it and better never let it go (ho!) You only get one shot to post, so put on a show Or live in the Land of Fu for a lifetime yo From infirmation we're escaping Now it's their board that is gaping Lawtalkers is primed for the taking Who should be king As we move toward a New board order PLF? He's so 2001... Might as well perform a post mortem Wonk reads and grows harder... he only gets hotter Slave bowls us all over... These hoes is all on him Coast to coast trips... Less is known as the globetrotter Houston's roads RT only knows She drives from office to home but no farther Paigow's the board's very own lunatic daughter Coke up her nose... Leaves and comes back... The false martyr Weed don't post here no mo... He's cold product So we moved on to the next schmoe who flows Shifter's stock rose TS has got power The FB soap opera is told and unfolds It's getting old pahtna But the board goes on Da da dum da dum da da You better lose yourself in the FB, like Finchy We own it and better never let it go (ho!) You only get one shot to post, so put on a show Or live in the Land of Fu for a lifetime yo You better lose yourself in the FB, like GWiNCky We own it and better never let it go (ho!) You only get one shot to post, so put on a show Or live in the Land of Fu for a lifetime yo No more games I'ma change what you call rage Tear the mothafuckin' thong off of red undies' frame EO was nicer in the beginning But her mood's all changed Someone should chew up and spit out every single pj page So I keep postin and writin' in this space called cyber Best believe google aids the Grinch as a writer SD's pain inside amplified by the fact That he can't get by as a nine to fiver DTB provides the right type of life for her family NotBob's so old the guy's ready to buy diapers Genre: horror movie... DS is a filer... that is her life Stayin' ketchupped is so hard and it's getting even harder Pepper used to office-TCB Plus Remember when Arby caught her a Prima Donna The Fugee Mama drama screamin is it Too much for me to wanna Stay in this spot Should I scroll or not It's gotten me to the point, I work like a snail I've got To formulate a plot To grab the partners' pot Success is my only mothafuckin' option Failure's not Barely, I love you But all this email's got me so I'm sick of the lawyer's lot So here I go it's my shot Feets fail me not Cuz I gotta take the only opportunity that I got You better lose yourself in the FB, Like RP We own it and better never let it go (ho!) You only get one shot to post, so put on a show Or live in the Land of Fu for a lifetime yo You better lose yourself in the FB, Like leagly We own it and better never let it go (ho!) You only get one shot to post, so put on a show Or live in the Land of Fu for a lifetime yo (You can flame anyone you set your mind to, man) TM |
#19 Not Bob
Don't Cry for Me, Fashionistas
By Not Bob [Enter paigow, on a balcony overlooking a crowd of FBers. She is wearing white and looking remarkably like Carolyn Bessette after throwing an ashtray at JFK, Jr. -- sad eyes, icy blond hair, matte red lips. An expectant hush falls over the crowd.] Paigow [starting softly, gaining strength as she goes]: It won't be easy, you'll think it strange When I try to explain how I feel That I still need your love after all of my posts You won't believe me All you will see is a girl with blood blue Although she's messed up some of the time Her family paid Mayflower's crew. I had to let it happen, I had to post Couldn't stay all my life lurking here Reading chefster's sex polls, staying out of the fun So I chose PAIGOW! Running around trying everyone new But no GA impressed me at all I never expected them to Don't cry for me, Fashionistas The truth is I never left you All through my chris days My war with JRUSS My spats with Thurgreed (like Slave, he's hairless) And as for Lester, and as for Slave I never invited them in Though it seemed to the boards they were all I desired Less is deluded Slave is not the solution he promised to be So I post here all of the time I love you and hope you love me Don't cry for me, Fashionistas The truth is I never left you All through my chris days My war with JRUSS My spats with Thurgreed (like Slave, he's hairless) Have I said too much? There's nothing more I can think of to say to you. But all you have to do is look at me to know that every word is true. [paigow bows to the applause, backing gracefully back off the balcony] |
#20 Paigow
Please, god, I need the Big Lebowski on DVD
By paigowprincess GOOD POSTS BAD POSTS In the days of yahoo I learned what it means to be a GA Be funny, be honest, be mean From infirm to lawtalkers, posters work with what they gather No matter how they try I keep reading the same old blather Good posts, bad posts Slave has no hair Though evenodds left white For a brown skinned man Coltrane still don't seem aware Two thou Less fell in love With a wingnut sweet as could be It only took him couple of secs' Til he splooged on Fugee She swore that Jesus would save his soul As she washed his splooge off Less turned to porn, pot and beers To practice delaying the getoff Good posts, bad posts chris doesn’t like much hair A real big breasted bisexual with garters and thongs Too bad Slave used all his Nair (Guitar Solo) Good posts, bad posts Thurgreed’s had his share Remember his revolting flirts with seductress c square? Nobody seemed to care I know what it means to be alone To be blackballed by the fb cool clones I don't care what the KooKoos say I'm gonna post here each and every day cheval posted songs that made me cry so gcubed, try an order of pith on wry |
#21 Penske
PLF?
By Penske_Account Is he gone yet? Jesus H. Christ, I sure as hell hope so. What a frickin' bore already. By the by, all this PLF retiring crap inspired me to parody a song and in honour of Billmore's College Dayz I picked the Mamas & the Papas California Dreamin'. All apologies to Mama Cass. And the ham sammich. Without further adieu: PLF Dreamin’ All the wit is gone, his posts fade to grey He needs to take a hike and go far away We’d be entertained, if it was back in the day PLF Dreamin’, but he’s got nuthin’ to say Surfed in to Infirm, to reminisce today Well I dropped down to my knees, his work was oh so fey You know that PLF’s work’s grown old While I’m still making hay PLF Dreamin’, but he’s got nuthin’ to say All the wit is gone, his posts fade to grey He needs to take a hike and go far away If Paigow didn’t IM him, he woulda left today PLF Dreamin’, but he’s got nuthin’ to say PLF Dreamin’, but he’s got nuthin’ to say PLF Dreamin’, but he’s got nuthin’ to say |
#22 Monkey
Gigli it isn't
By Chunky Monkey With tounge surgically-implanted in cheek, here is my contributions to the 'don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out' PLF retirement party: To the tune of, what else, Ironic by the horribly misunderstood Alanis Morrisette: Bilmore’s at least ninety-eight Even if he won the lottery, he’d still hang around this place Paigow’s too fly to drink Chardonnay She sucks down Pisco Sours at a furious pace Isn’t this moronic, dontcha think? [CHORUS] It’s plaaaaaain, as the nose on your face It’s played out, but with posts at a furious pace The FB’s about clothes and sports, and things that vibrate Obviously nobody’s thought .. it figures. The old back door, Thrasher refuses to try If her husband ever asked, she’d just wave bye bye bye Replaced Texan could offer tips, if she really wanted to know A negative purity score is damn sexy, yo Isn’t this moronic, dontcha think? [CHORUS] It’s plaaaaaain, as the nose on your face It’s played out, but with posts at a furious pace The FB’s about clothes and sports, and things that vibrate Obviously nobody’s thought .. it figures. Well this board has a funny way of sneaking up on you When you’re eating your lunch and everything’s going alright And the board has a funny way of shooting milk out your nose or tossing your breakfast … in a bag or all over your face A Flower post, about how things are all passe A fringe-ish rant saying everything’s so lame It’s like 10,000 Atticus posts, hey man get a life It’s admiring Evenodds’ ass and you know she ain’t Str8’s wife And isn’t it moronic, don’t you think A little TOO moronic, and yeah I really do think [CHORUS] It’s plaaaaaain, as the nose on your face It’s played out, but with posts at a furious pace The FB’s about clothes and sports, and things that vibrate Obviously nobody’s thought .. it figures. Da FB has a funny way of sneaking up on you It has a funny, funny way of making you want to hurl making you wanna hurl Apologies if I forgot to insult you, I ran out of verses, but will try to do better next time. |
#23 and #24 Shape Shifter
Parody Parody
By Shape Shifter (responding to the parody listed beneath his.) I found this so inspiring, I was able to write 2 songs. 1. (Sung to the tune of "Happy Birthday") Happy Birthday to you That was the stupidest fucking song parody I've ever heard in my life. 2. (Sung to Pat Benatar's "Heartbreaker") Your song is like a dentist’s drill, sinking deep in my teeth No nitrous or novocaine, and certainly no pith You're the right kind of whiner, to release such infantilacy A real Jessica stinker, and you know that you were born to be You're a boardbreaker Humor hater, a mistake Don't you NFH with me! You're a boardbreaker Fischbacher, big faker Don't you NFH - no no no! Your song is like a giant turd, spinning down in the bowl A self parody, so absurd, suffocating my soul I’m glad you’re a West Coaster, so we won’t accidentally meet in a bar You’re a miserable poster, and you like had a gay avatar (nttawwt) You're a boardbreaker Crap maker, faith shaker Don't you me NFH with me! You're a boardbreaker Wiseacre, headacher Don't you NFH - no no no! You're a boardbreaker Humor hater, a mistake Don't you NFH with me! You're a boardbreaker Wiseacre, headacher Boardbreaker! quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally posted by NotFromHere Sung to Pat Benatar's Hit me with your best shot... Fringy's a real tough cookie with the long history Of breaking little hearts, like the one in me Greedy's O.K., lets see how you do it Put up your dukes, lets get down to it! Hit Me With Your Limp Cock! Why Don't You Hit Me With Your Limp Cock! Hit Me With Your Limp Cock! Fire Away! Come on Pliffy come on, you don't fight fair But that's O.K., see if I care! Knock me down, it's all in vain I'll get right back on my feet again! Hit Me With Your Limp Cock! Why Don't You Hit Me With Your Limp Cock! Hit Me With Your Limp Cock! Fire Away! NCS's a real tough cookie with the long history Of breaking little hearts, like the one in me Before I put another notch in my lipstick case Penske better make sure I sit on your face Hit Me With Your Limp Cock! Come On, Hit Me With Your Limp Cock! Hit Me With Your Limp Cock! Fire Away! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
#25 NFH
My song
By Not From Here Sung to Pat Benatar's Hit me with your best shot... Fringy's a real tough cookie with the long history Of breaking little hearts, like the one in me Greedy's O.K., lets see how you do it Put up your dukes, lets get down to it! Hit Me With Your Limp Cock! Why Don't You Hit Me With Your Limp Cock! Hit Me With Your Limp Cock! Fire Away! Come on Pliffy come on, you don't fight fair But that's O.K., see if I care! Knock me down, it's all in vain I'll get right back on my feet again! Hit Me With Your Limp Cock! Why Don't You Hit Me With Your Limp Cock! Hit Me With Your Limp Cock! Fire Away! NCS's a real tough cookie with the long history Of breaking little hearts, like the one in me Before I put another notch in my lipstick case Penske better make sure I sit on your face Hit Me With Your Limp Cock! Come On, Hit Me With Your Limp Cock! Hit Me With Your Limp Cock! Fire Away! |
26 ncs
alright I'll post a submission before someone steals my song
By notcasesensitive (unlikely) Board Damage (adapted from Brain Damage, Pink Floyd) the lunatics all want her ass the lunatics want e/o’s ass tm plays games and daisy chains get laughs got to keep on topic or risk her wrath a lunatic shops at the mall the lunatics buy clothes for fall paigow points their wretched faces towards the door but everyday the suburbs get one more and if coltrane’s knees break down many years too soon and if there is no lizard with a pill and if PB explodes with Ahnold’s sex life too I’ll see you on the FB with some ‘shrooms the fashion board is in my head fucking fashion board is in my head leagl had it made, she made the change she’ll re-arrange us or go insane we mock some more and socks pop up you’ll see theres and thats may even bother dear RP and if reality tv shows, moral relativism cause you fear you’ll shout but no one seems to care and if the board you’re on starts kayaking to different tunes I’ll see you on the FB, get there soon… [you'll have to do the whoas that accompany in your head, if it isn't already too 'shroom-addled] |
#27 reba
JPUNK Gives Socks a Bad Name
By reba In order to be a little ironic for my favorite little has-been PLf, I am using a sock to protest JFUCK's incesssantly bad unfunny socking with the fisrt entry into the contest. BRing on the new magic wand lealg. (sing to the tune of BonJovis' 'YOu give Love a Badname') A moron's joke is what you tell Your posts are unfunny, and put me through hell One note socks are so old to me Your socks are a prison, you can't break free Whhoooaaaa, you make the board no fun Whhooooaaa, there's nowhere to run Not even my wit can save us The damage is done Chorus: Post like a fart And he’s so lame JPUKE gives socks a bad name I flame him out yet his schtick’s the same JPUSS gives socks a bad name JRUNT gives socks a bad name Change your name to ConnecttheDots Doesn’t matter your act still rots A teenboy's scheme, everyday a new try From your very first sock you made us want to cry Whhoooaaaa, you make the board no fun Whoooooaaa, there's nowhere to run Not even my wit can save us The damage is done Chorus: Post like a fart And he’s so lame JPUKE gives socks a bad name I flame him out yet his schtick’s the same JPUSS gives socks a bad name JRUNT gives socks a bad name |
Ok, here are the entries (in reverse order) I think I got them all. If I missed any please PM E/O or leagleaze.
Vote here. |
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