How I learned to stop procrastinating and love the law
 

Ok. Give it to me in small words so I can understand.

I've been called a sock but I'm not - I've used this handle exclusively for about 4 years. While I'm new to this board I've been around other lawyer boards for years. I know many of the posters here unless they were on regional boards that I didn't frequent.

Someone earlier seemed to be dissing me about how irrelevant my posts were. Someone else replied that they had PMd me with a note to that effect. I have zero PMs.

So, I freely admit that I missed the joke. I'm new here but not afraid to jump in (even where not wanted). What joke did I miss on today's posts? I was invited to come over to LT. But, if you want me to go away, just be a man and say it straight up.

Keepin' it Real
 

The Apprentice: Haven't watched it yet (its on tape), but one of the contestants has a soft-core past - http://www.nypost.com/gossip/15246.htm (news article, only pic is a portrait), http://www.othercrap.com/images/frank_kristy.jpg (nekkid stills from the movie).

American Idol 3: Coming next week.

The Simple Life: I found the simple life ain't so simple,
When i jumped out on that road,
I got no love, no love you'd call real,
Ain't got nobody waiting at home.
Oh, and there is going to be a reunion special. Yawn.

Average Joe 2: More mean, more carwrecky. What else could one want?

The Surreal Life 2: I actually found myself enjoying this last night. Trishelle seemed funny, laid back, a lush, willing to call Tracy Bingham on her shit, and a horndog. Erik Estrada was boooooring. Ron Jeremy was amusing. Tammy Faye Messner is such a mess is it rather compelling. Vanilla Ice needs therapy. And Tracy Bingham needs to be bent over the pool table until she won't shit right for a week. Previews suggested much nudity and porn star parties with Vince Neil in my future. The world needs more of the three B's - booze, bullshit, and buttfucking.

The Real World - San Diego. More of the same, but appearing to focus early on the difficulties of those with gfs or bfs at home. Another attractive crowd apparently getting in a lot of legal trouble in San Diego (one girl arrested in a bar fight with a Marine, and non-cast member staying at the house allegedly date-raped another non-cast member - http://www.realitytvworld.com/index/...ory.php?s=2135 - while production crews did nothing and then obstructed the investigation. Added bonus points for the Coyote Ugly bartender with the rack, and the South Carolina cheerleader type who proudly announced that she had brought her vibrator. Super extra points for Frankie is a punk-rocker vomiting on the first day in the house.

Celebrity Mole 2: Who is more B-list, Tracey Gold or Tracy Bingham? Save me from this shite.

Survivor All-Stars: Coming soon.

My Big Obnoxious Fiancee: Coming soon. Any show with "Obnoxious" in the title has promise, but I'm thinking the gimmick will grow old fast.

Rich Girls: Yawn.

Last Comic Standing 2: Auditions occuring now. Stay tuned for America to pick another shitty stand-up in this flawed process.

Real World/Road Rules Challenge - the Gauntlet. Peaked with the Abe/Veronica/Rachel threesome in the shower. Now, the only reason left to watch is to root for Sarah and against Coral.

You may now return to your regular content-free programming.

Confidential to Atticus
 

You wound me.
To call me a sock after all these months.
However the thought of being masterpiece sock interests me.
Hmm, maybe I am a sock.

But if you read my post I said that I had been informed of the post, not I have read the post. And to have my gender questioned on a bored that I do not participate on struck me as odd. As if the legend of NFH is bigger than this.

How I learned to stop procrastinating and love the law
 

Go away.









Were those words small enough for you?

Keepin' it Real
 

So what did she do in "Jumping Rope"?

"January 10, 2004 -- KRISTI Frank, a cast member on Donald Trump's new reality hit, "The Apprentice," once starred in a steamy episode of Showtime's soft-core porn series "Red Shoe Diaries" titled "Swimming Naked" in which she was shown swimming naked."

How I learned to stop procrastinating and love the law
 

bye

How I learned to stop procrastinating and love the law
 

Please don't go, I was just kidding.


















Not

How I learned to stop procrastinating and love the law
 

Okay, I'll bite.

ltl/fb said she was ignoring you. I asked whether she had PM'd you. Since that was an email dumping joke (inspired by the FBA's sad sad situation), her positive reply was not sincere. Since everybody knew that, your post that you had zero PMs was unnecessary and, worse, reflected that you were out of the loop. That's not an ideal response to charges of irrelevance.

I don't want you to go away (so if you don't mind I'll refrain from being a man). If you stay, there may be more opportunities for smart-assedy comments from the peanut gallery that make me laugh. Or you might make some yourself.

But if you make me write one of these earnest posts again, I'll whip your ass with a severed arm.

Keepin' it Real
 

"Swimming Naked" was such false advertising. The protagonists did not swim together naked (or if they did, it was for such an incredibly short period of time that it didn't even count).

Not that I'm bitter about that, or anything.

How I learned to stop procrastinating and love the law
 

Oh great. Now look what you did, you jackass. Now it's back to being just you, me, Slave, Less, Penske, and Penske's socks. And Less and Slave have already slept with all the good ones.

How I learned to stop procrastinating and love the law
 

This is so hot. Grrrrrr.

How I learned to stop procrastinating and love the law
 

No they haven't.



Or so Shape Shifter tells me.

Keepin' it Real
 

I'm quite impressed with this bunch. Two of the girls are outright hot, the punker is very pretty despite trying to look weird. And that stri..er, waitress is average, but my god those cans.

This season has to be more over the top as France was a utter bore.

How I learned to stop procrastinating and love the law
 

Socks are part of the reptile conspiracy? And why, PLF, are you jealous of Slave and Less having carnal relations with hosiery?

Keepin' it Real
 

That S. Carolina girl is just phenomenal. In fact, the state of SC is loaded with those kind of girls. Charleston is like Atlanta with the girl/guy ratio, except that Charleston doesn't suck.

Edited to add that I've always found the Real World to be unwatchable. Things are looking different for San Diego.

Hey
 

Stop trying to chase away the newbies.

Ya jerks.

Hey
 

I wasn't trying to chase it away, she said with dignity. If it thinks on it, it will realize that if it is ignored it is less likely to be flamed.

Not that you were necessarily talking to me.

It probably should lurk at least for a little while and perhaps practice some posts in its head before going on a posting binge. Otherwise it might end up a sensitive nutcase.

Hey
 

It is just lurking trying to figure out the rules before it starts posting again. There is no chance that someone who comes back to post "bye" to a "go away" post will actually go away. It will just be reincarnated in 2-3 days.

Hey
 

I wasn't trying to chase him away. I was being earnestly helpful (nice), even though he did tell me to be a man. I don't think he'll leave. He's not that much of a pussy. NTTAWWT.

How I learned to stop procrastinating and love the law
 

Yay for proper usage!

:band:

Hey
 

Guilty feelings much?

Hey
 

Yes, which is why I have sent many flirtatious PMs to NW Native in the minutes since you first admonished us.

Confidential to Atticus
 

I call shenanigans. There is no chance whatsoever that any oldtimer who still haunts the Infirm boards PMed you, a creature that has only existed since March and which has publicly professed to lack PM ability for most of that time, specially to tell you between Friday 7 p.m. PST and Sunday 4:58 p.m. PST that you had been dissed on the Infirm boards.

Shenanigans, I say.

I'll save you some time, though. Here is the imaginary IM transcript in which you were informed by your friends.

Naught_from_Here: Whassup?
Penis-key_Material: LOL!
Penis-key_Material: YMMV!!
Penis-key_Material: Indeed.
Penis-key_Material: Say, Atticus be talking shit about you on Infirm, like some Ironweed-talking punk.
Penis-key_Material: TUALBIMM!!!!
Naught_from_Here: I'm going to beat his bitch ass down!
Naught_from_Here: Punk mutherfucka!
Penis-key_Material: Indeed.
Purty_Little_Floral: Whassup?
Penis-key_Material: Indeed. LOL!
Purty_Little_Floral: Did Penske tell you about Atticus yet?
Purty_Little_Floral: Mutherfucking bitch-ass bitch!
Penis-key_Material: Wierd that.
[EOM]

How I learned to stop procrastinating and love the law
 

Welcome, NW Native. I do remember you from That Other Board.

For the most part, if you haven't been an "FB Regular" on That Other Board, you'll be called a sock, a fake, and, eventually, "Penske."

They don't take kindly to non-Regulars here.*

-pc

* Amongst the Regulars, Atticus is the most regular of them all. Totally. (Do a search for "twosies" and you'll see what I mean).**

** I know Leagl hates it when we talk about poop and such, but I couldn't resist a cheap pun. Sorry.

Hey
 

More like defensive in a self-righteous kind of way.

Confidential to Atticus
 

I cannot believe you saw and saved that conference transcript. You seemed to have omitted a few indeeds and flowery rants, but other than that, it is complete.

Confidential to Atticus
 

OMG!! How did you get that? Are you secretly stalking my computer?

And go ahead and call shenanigans, I don't know him.

And for the record, you really need to work on your reading comprehension which has obviously declined in the decades since you took the bar. Nowhere, ever do the initials PM appear in any of the cited posts, as you know, I lack the PM abilities.

Still not ambitious, still not attached
 

Hey
 

You know me better than that.

Still not ambitious, still not attached
 

JHC man, how many boards do you post on? Feldon.

Hey
 

Good job.

Hey
 

If you love someone new, flame them, and if they love you back they will stick around, smelling like charcoal.

Hey
 

You didn't really respond guiltily. The others did though.

Confidential to Atticus
 

No, that's the bar at the strip mall in Petaluma where Atticus likes to "write his briefs."

Hey
 

Hey, Leagl. Notice we haven't heard from Hank in 4 hours? He must REALLY like your avatars.

I like them too, but...

Hey
 

Haven't heard from Sebby either. Maybe there's some sort of contest going on. What's the over/under?

Still not ambitious, still not attached
 

Techie question:

Is there any reason whatsoever to purchase the costlier "HDTV built-in" over the "HDTV-ready" television, since to get the HDTV signal you still have to pay the cable company an extra charge, which includes a decoder rental?

Hey
 

I believe you were trying to think of the Dead Milkmen song "If You Love Somebody, Set Them On Fire"

To the tune of "Light My Fire" (at least to begin with):

Know that it would be untrue
Know that I would be a liar
If I was to say to you
I didn't set your house on fire

But it's just the way I am
Have to take it for a fact
Life can really burn you up
When you're a pyromaniac
So...

If you love somebody
Better set them on fire

I went to your house last night
Dad called me the human torch
Got a little pissed at him
So I burned down your front porch

Now I feel a little better
About throwin' gas on your dad
But you know it's hard to quit
And besides he started it

I just bought a brand new lighter
And I just can't wait to use it
With a can a' kerosene it's lots a' fun
You can't refuse it

Oily rags are special things
You know to me they're diamond rings
Maybe we can have some fun
Maybe we can burn someone
So...

If you love somebody
Better set them on fire

Know that it would be untrue
Know that I would be a liar
If I was to say to you
I didn't set your dad on fire

If you love somebody
Better set them on fire

If you love somebody
Why not set them on fire?

If you love somebody
Better set them on fire

If you love somebody
Why not set them on fire?

Hey
 

He's crazy about them. He's given me two of the ones I have used. Searches ebay for them it would seem. I think maybe it is an illness.


Sebbie on the other hand is just crazy.

Hey
 

Sounds like perfectly normal red-blooded American male behavior to me.

Now if the ladies on the covers were, how shall I say, Rosie O'Donnell-esque, then I'd be concerned.