As well you should. I have no idea how I worked full time with children for eight years, and got everything done at home that needed doing. God, that sucked.

Domestic staff?

Good lord, woman. That is what help is for.

OK, this is sad. Our family dog has cancer and is not long for this world. Any suggestions about how to explain this, etc., to the five-year-old?

Depends. Did you want to lie or tell the truth?

"Okay, Junior. We'll want to be really gentle. You need to get really close. You don't want something to go wrong and put him in more pain. Now, we're just going to slide the barrel up here to under his ear and sloooowly pull the trigger..."

No? How about:

"We had to take Rusty to the farm. He's got lots of grass and tress to run around in. He was playing with the cows when I left. He's very happy."

Isn't a good first lesson that everything dies?

Tell him that the dog is very, very sick and he's going to die soon and go to heaven where he won't be sick and won't be in pain any more.

Children are far more able to deal with the concept of death than we think they are. For one thing, they have no sense of their own mortality, so they really don't process it the way we do.

How to Raise a Vegetarian
 

Sometimes it's good to understand the "circle of life".

Show him the Lion King, then take the dog off to the fields, and let the boy see the vultures the next day.

He'll always remember the lesson.

Agreed. Except to add that you should be sure to explain that it isn't the kind of sick that could be cured by a trip to the pediatrician, or by the application of yucky purple medicine.

True. That helped a lot -- but I still have help for lots of stuff, but don't know how I got everything done (MY jobs) working full time.

"first"?

There's no question about whether to tell him. I guess I was stumbling over whether to tell him before or after.

And "good"? Bite me.

I guess the question is whether or not it will be more or less painful for him to be able to say goodbye.

I was a little older, maybe nine or ten, when my frist childhood dog died, and my parents had him put to sleep before they told me and my siblings. I don't think I came out too scarred.

But then I ate at least one pet without it having too much of an impact on me, so I may be a monster.

Another consideration is how much easier will it be on you if your kid is part of the saying goodbye process. I'm going to be a wreck for at least a month when it's time for the DD to go. I'm not sure I'd be able to keep up a brave face for the kids before then.

________

Tell him the truth. Kids are waaay brighter than we give them credit for..e.g...

#1 - Mommy, what's wrong with jack (the goldfish)

ML- hmmm (noticing that jack is indeed dead) I think jack is sleeping

#1 - Well, I think he's dead. Looking closer, Yep, Mom, he's dead.

Ml - Oh, well how about we get another fish and we can call him Jack Jr.?

#1 - Nah, let's just get another fish and call him Jack!


(interaction with my 4 yr old last week about his dead fish. What he didn't know was that this WAS Jack #2, and spared him the death of the previous one....)


ML

Oh my god. You mean Ricky didn't actually go to a farm? Mommy LIED?