OK, so, in sum, I can take my Cadbury worshipping self and my gay lover(s) to this Baptist event without feeling any pangs of remorse? I do know better than to sign up for the well-advertised door prizes which will only get me more Jesus Ladies coming to the house.

You can bring your kid, too.

But have I ever told you about where the Easter Chocolate Bunny tradition came from, in reality?

I apologize for breaking the Board.
 

My friend got her first copy editing job by doing just that.

Of course, she makes dtb look like, um, something that's the opposite of an editing nazi.

In reality, it doesn't matter as long as it's good quality chocolate. And solid...none of that hollow bunny bullshit. Rabbitshit. Whatever.

I apologize for breaking the Board.
 

Ask them in so that you can show them your personalized line of sexual devices in action, available at rock bottom prices.

I apologize for breaking the Board.
 

I'd have to ask RT, but I'm pretty sure that's a felony here.

I apologize for breaking the Board.
 

if you mean Jehovah's witnesses- here is the most valuable thing the NYT has ever taught me:

Sunday magazine endpage article from a guy who was raised JW, on why he left- all interesting, but the main point was when he gets the people at his door all he has to say is that he is lapsed (iforget the actual term) and the JWs run away. Try that? someone wh "knew the truth" but still turned away is scary shit.

I apologize for breaking the Board.
 

No, I'm pretty sure they were Baptists.

I apologize for breaking the Board.
 

Then I'd go with the lesbian angle. Send streaming video to dchef@justice.com.

Replacing my Neighbors With Laurels
 

Always wondered why the neighbors snickered when I told them my 60/70-ish neighbors (to the right of our house) "seemed nice." Now I know. I'm trying to install laurel hedges to block out some of the problems, but one nasty one is that they planted a thornbush on the very edge of their property teetering almost onto mine that grows tons of branches only onto my side -- very sharp and numerous. Every other day I am clipping off branches that jut out a few ft. where we hang out in the yard! I wouldn't care the constant clipping but I have nowhere to put these big thorny branches -- branch disposal is once a year and it has passed. I could throw them onto his yard but I know he'd be pissed and even if I'm "right" I don't want World War III. Seriously, my hands are a mess from these things. The guy is mean, but he's old and has a hearing aid and his wife is totally bonkers** which is sad.

**Eg.: they have assorted "squares" of their backyard roped off with bright yellow tape that says "caution" (but they never have guests??) but there is nothing in the squares. Only thing I can figure is those are the spots they want (or don't want) the aliens w/ anal probles to land on. Oh, and the wife walks around with a dishtowel over her face, with sunglasses over the dishtowel. Which I actually don't mind, given the photo ops.

Okay, thank you for reading my vent.

Replacing my Neighbors With Laurels
 

Accidentally spill something poisonous onto the ground near the thornbush.

Replacing my Neighbors With Laurels
 

Even a dose of salt.

Why not get a medium sized box, and cut them up into that. Then put in the garbage.
?

Replacing my Neighbors With Laurels
 

The neighbors, or the branches?

Replacing my Neighbors With Laurels
 

Both, in the same box.

Replacing my Neighbors With Laurels
 

Hee. And add a dash of that salt you were talking about for good measure?

Done deal.

(Especially since our garbage men would literally move bodies for us.)