cross-posting topic from parents board
 

This topic wore out its welcome over there (not kid-oriented), but has not been discussed here for at least 6 weeks:

How do you feel about elevator etiquette rules and door-holding rules that treat women differently than men?

I tend to think that it is crap and whoever reaches the door first should open it, whoever is in the front of the elevator should exit first. My memories of living in the northeast is that this is the way things worked there and women are getting along just fine, thank you. Others claim that NYC has the fucked up - men in the front of the elevator somehow try to stand aside for women to exit first, but I've never seen it there. Here in Dallas, men are glared at if they dare to enter or exit an elevator first. WTF? All I want is the people around me to move so that they aren't in my way. The most efficient way to achieve this is for everyone to act the same and not have some weird chivalry code that requires men to stay in my way instead of moving along.

Sopranos
 

DD is laminated list hot in my book. And I agree with BRC. Smart, laid back and funny will get me every time.

Well, that, and some really good blow...

cross-posting topic from parents board
 

If we don't let you go first, how are we supposed to look at your ass?

cross-posting topic from parents board
 

As I explained on the parent board at some length (am not going to reproduce here), for efficiency what is important is that there is a system that is understood by all. It's when people are operating under different assumptions that all hell breaks loose and people collide in the doorways.

And, guys who get on or off first were clearly raised by wolves. But that's a side note and unrelated to efficiency.

Honestly, in the door opening, getting off the elevator, I don't feel like I've got some vagina-derived god-given right to go first (however, in other kinds of getting off, damn straight I've got a god-given right!!!!!!!!!! make no mistake)*. I just hate awkwardness, and adjust to whatever system is in place where I am.

*to avoid confusion, note that this is a joke. it is so obvious that I have to make it.

cross-posting topic from parents board
 

There is no set rule. It's all a pain in the ass.

Elevators
Get on and get off. There is no need to wait for women to do so before you. It makes no sense and forces others to wait while some woman is navigating her way to the front of the elevator while the man, who is standing directly in front of the door, moves aside before exiting. What's worse is that there is no one rule, which means some men try to fight their way around "polite guy" too, because they have no idea he wants to get off. But what is stupidest about polite guy is that he will let women enter the elevator first, putting them in the back of the elevator. Then he will let them exit first, forcing them to fight around everyone else to get out, before he exits. It makes absolutely no sense.

If I'm standing there and there are few people waiting to get on, I usually let whoever wants to rush in, rush in first -- man or woman.

Doors
Whoever gets there first should hold the door for the next person after they have gone through. If the next person is more than five feet away, you can let the door go.

People (and it's almost always women) who let you hold the door for them without taking it from you and holding it for the next person should be smashed with the door. I'm not your personal fucking man servant. Catch the door and hold it for the next person you selfish bitch.

Revolving Doors
Get in and push. People (and it's almost always women) who get in and expect you to push the revolving door for them because they don't want to touch it or are just not feeling that strong that day should be trapped in said revolving door for no less than 3 hours.

TM

bangs
 

My favorite is "I must register my most staunch objection!"

Strenously = I'm nervous and can't think of a basis.

cross-posting topic from parents board
 

Concur.

You might not be surprised to hear that those same women who don't grab the door from you will also not grab the door from another woman who is holding it for them. I guess we are all their personal (wo)manservants.

I've never encountered a woman who would not push the revolving door though. there are sometimes awkward moments by the revolving doors if a woman thinks she should be allowed in first. This, of course, would be counterproductive to her if she was unwilling to push it.

cross-posting topic from parents board
 

This is a HUGE pet peeve of mine, especially when a person enters the door first but stops pushing when another person enters.

Long time since we had a fat fight -
 

A propos of this very thing (how novel!), there was an article in the NYT yesterday about Pavarotti's "farewell" to the Met, the funniest (or saddest) part of which was the following:

Physically he has never seemed heavier. Bad knees and bad hips have made him almost immobile. As he lumbered about the stage, sometimes propped up by his Tosca, the soprano Carol Vaness, you wondered why he was subjecting himself to the ordeal of a staged performance.

When Cavaradossi is shot by a firing squad at the end of the opera, poor Mr. Pavarotti had to sink slowly into a pile of beanbags, bracing his fall with his arms outstretched.


I saw him in that role several times many years ago, and he was phenomenal (duh).


Required Linky thingy

cross-posting topic from parents board
 

I hate getting busted doing that. It happened yesterday. I gotta help on how to check chicks out discretely. My wife claims chicks check out guys out at length and men never know it. I guess there's a whole pile of tricks to how to do it slyly, and I need them.

Because of my lack of skill, I now have to share the elevator with a young lawyer who thinks I really dig her ass.

cross-posting topic from parents board
 

Perhaps if you looked at the whole chick rather than part by part, it might seem a little less obvious.

Of course you could just be a little more discreet about it.

My favorite line from that episode is an oft-repeated one in our household, to wit: "If you don't like it, I know somebody who will!"

cross-posting topic from parents board
 

Is she hot?

cross-posting topic from parents board
 

If you know how to check out someone's ass and face at the same time in an elevator, I'd like to patent it.

cross-posting topic from parents board
 

Eh. That's the funny thing. It was just an ass, and I was partially zoned out. I could have been looking at anything, but I was looking at her ass, and she caught me. I guess there's a bright side - it probably made her feel hot...

... or it just grossed her out.