Mass-holes Invade Texas!
 

I believe I ran into this issue a couple years back when I consulted Miss Manners' Weddings for a delicate etiquette issue (can I tell people who invite their small children to my wedding to screw off?), and she was very unhappy with the idea of people using toasts, etc. to joke, even rather gently, about the bride/groom because of the mortification potential.

I have heard a few "Wow, has s/he been around the block a lot!" toasts, which did not go over well with naive relatives who took the assumption of nonvirginity as a horrid insult.

It's been a while
 

I started the process by filling in the first screen. Who I am. What I like. How to reach me. All marketing crap. Then, I hit enter, and it came back saying I had skipped my zip code. So I filled that in, and hit enter. Of course, the two password blanks had turned blank again, and so it came back and said to fill in my password. So I did, and hit enter. Then it told me that my e-mail already existed in its databank, and so I should use the OLD password, and I changed it. It popped back up, pointing out that I had to fill in both password blanks. So I did, and I hit enter. Then it told me that I was detail-oriented and believed in getting things done right. Uh huh.

Mass-holes Invade Texas!
 

When budweiser is using such toasts to sell it's beer, you know they're not appropriate at a wedding.

Chix wrestling in mud, on the other hand, is always appropriate, at a wedding or otherwise.

Mass-holes Invade Texas!
 

I know an idiot who made several poorly veiled references to taking various drugs at Dead shows with the groom in front of the bride's family, despite the fact that bride's brother and father were both superconservative midwestern lifelong military men, dressed in uniform. The groom turned purple and nearly killed the best man. I think it actually fucked up their friendship pretty badly.

I had a Catholic wedding because I was born a member of that ridiculous cult, but I eliminated the mass and all other silly observances that most Catholics rudely put their guests through. Some of my meddling relatives were peeved, but I told them if they had a problem, they could raise it with my atheist father in law who paid for the wedding and is 6'4 and wrestled and played rugby in college. Seemed to shut them up.

It's been a while
 

Anne, you're an Observer!

That means you're one of the more kind-hearted people around. You are unusually intuitive, and you probably understand yourself, as well as others. That also means you're a good mediator — though you may prefer to spend more quiet time on your own than most.

Because of the self-knowledge you already possess, you are better equipped than many to steer your life in the right direction. Understanding more about the components of your personality will reveal unique information that even people like you might not realize. And the better you know yourself, the more confident you'll be making decisions that affect your life.


No surprises there.

Golden Globes Fashion Review
 

Someone's probably already answered this, but I think it's because she's an incredible germophobe. Like, it's a really big deal for her to take her gloves off when she's on Leno or something like that.

It's been a while
 

They should not give you your age in minutes. That made me feel really old.

Mass-holes Invade Texas!
 

My God, I hope, errr... I EXPECT, that my daughter will have sown her oats before her wedding. I'd be terribly upset if any of my kids didn't get their ya yas out before settling down. And I'd be appalled if anyone thought my family so provincial and parochial that my daughter might be a virgin on her wedding day.

Mass-holes Invade Texas!
 

I'm thinking that's not the appropriate metaphor. Perhaps it's just me, but perhaps her field should be plowed, or something.

Mass-holes Invade Texas!
 

Well, you're *never* going to be able to trade her for a flock of sheep with that attitude, bub.

Mass-holes Invade Texas!
 

Sex metaphor timmy.

Mass-holes Invade Texas!
 

Maybe he's a farming timmy.

Mass-holes Invade Texas!
 

I'm just wondering about The Speech some poor kid will get from Mr. Dangerfield while waiting for his date to come downstairs. But I'm sure sebby's daughter will be hot, so that should make it worthwhile.

Mass-holes Invade Texas!
 

Nah. Oats are sown.

But I'll be a sebby timmy, too: what happened to not having kids? I thought you were going to be a cat without kittens?

Golden Globes Fashion Review
 

Not sure who the dragoon dude is, but if it's this guy, there's a small problem, in that he's already Lucius Malfoy...

http://images.google.com/images?q=tb...er/harrypotter



(I am embarrassingly well-versed in all things Harry Potter...)**






**As if I needed to add to my Dorkorama c.v.


Edited to try to include another picture -- but it just won't work, dammit!