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Napoleon Dynamite

Quote:

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
Lithium makes idiots tolerable?

Never leave jewelry on dead relatives?

"God, I need to sell a silly patent?"

I have nothing to ass. Just wanted to change the re: line.

(It's Napoleon, not Napolean!!!!!)

Carry on.

question re practical ways to dump someone

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Thats because usually its never totally over. You're always kind of connected in some emotional sense to any ex, so if the ex keeps saying, "but there's still a spark", she's right. People fuck up dumping when they say "Its over" because that invites a rebuttal. You have to dump with the line "I can't continue. I have feelings for you, but there's no future, so it must end." That tells the ex that no fanning of residual sparks will work.

This is why its always a mess to fuck exes.

Agree. I've never really had a bad break-up. There was a reason I dated that person in the first place: b/c we got along and understood each other (or she was really hot). Regardless of whether it works out, that connection will likely remain. I've never had a person change so dramatically that the connection disappears.

Quote:

Originally posted by Oliver_Wendell_Ramone
A party where I ended up sitting on a couch with our own ABBA. We ended up making out.

You are a good kisser. Next time -- neck bites. I like neck bites.

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Originally posted by ABBAKiss
You are a good kisser. Next time -- neck bites. I like neck bites.

Thanks, and likewise. And duly noted.

Quote:

Originally posted by Oliver_Wendell_Ramone
Second, I had a really weird dream last night, and feel compelled to share at least parts of it. (Sorry, Thurgreed) I was lost in a strange and unnamed city. Somehow, I eventually ended up in an apartment where, to my surprise, a female partner in my firm was sort of mock-pegging a male partner. I say "mock" because they did not actually have a strap-on. She was just sort of dry humping him from behind. They were filming it, apparently for some sort of partner video. Eventually, other partners from my current and former firms showed up, and it turned into a party. A party where I ended up sitting on a couch with our own ABBA. We ended up making out. Disappointingly, it did not go any further. Even in dream state, with a raging hard on and ABBA's TITS!, I had that "wait a minute, I'm married" moment. So I left the party to look for my car, which I had lost earlier in the dream.

My office dream interpreter says that either you took the percodan too close to bedtime, or you have huge unresolved issues concerning a pet you once owned. She's thinking sheep, but that's not totally clear.

I turned off the game a little before halftime beause I can't bear to watch massacre, even if it is Oklahoma, so I missed this:

King Kauffman

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...which turned out to be the most entertaining Orange Bowl halftime show I've ever seen.

This may have had something to do with the fact that I rarely watch it, but with the possibility of any further football entertainment so remote I figured I'd sit through this year's, especially after I heard the public address announcer call it "The biggest jam of the New Year, featuring multiplatinum recording artist Kelly Clarkson, country music sensation Trace Adkins and superstar Ashlee Simpson!"

There were scattered boos for superstar Ashlee Simpson, proving that the fans in Miami had no ear for surrealism. Or sarcasm.

Clarkson sang her current single, the video for which hilariously has this most famously manufactured pop star in history banging it out onstage in a club, garage-band style. Her microphone malfunctioned briefly at the start, and she spent the entire rest of the song -- an upbeat nose-thumbing breakup song during which she's supposed to look all defiant and tough-chicky -- looking like bullets were whizzing by her head.

People in no physical danger rarely look so scared. Anyone who's ever played one real club gig never wears that look onstage again. First-class entertainment, and an appropriate accompaniment to Oklahoma's meltdown.

Next came Adkins. I'm not a fan, but he quickly showed professional capability that wasn't going to be any fun so I fast-forwarded to the superstar.

Oh, my. I've been to karaoke Tuesday at Big Jim's Trucketeria, friends, and I've never seen anything like this. Sweetheart, pick a key. Learn a move or two. Try lip-synching. Oh, wait, never mind that last one. It was a staggering display of incompetence matched only by the Oklahoma secondary. I can't remember ever seeing a performer so devoid of singing ability, stage presence, looks or anything else anyone not related would want to see twice.

When Simpson's song mercifully ended, the crowd united in booing. Sooners and Trojans, fat cats and cheap seaters, locals and tourists, 77,912 strong, they found one thing all night they could agree on: Boo!

It was great. Then the football players came back, the butt-kicking resumed, and it got kinda boring. Ashlee Simpson, superstar, is a tough act to follow. She won't be around much longer. I'm going to miss her.

Did anyone else see it?

Bobby is Long, indeed

Quote:

Originally posted by taxwonk
I can live with the stretch marks.

Well, you have to. But we were talking about Scarlett.

TM

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
I turned off the game a little before halftime beause I can't bear to watch massacre, even if it is Oklahoma, so I missed this:

King Kauffman

Did anyone else see it?

Yes. Whatshername from American Idol indeed looked terrified, and as for Ashlee, I commented to my viewing companion, "she can't sing, dance, or dress to flatter her figure, and she's not hot." Given her inability to move her hips, she can't be a good fuck, but we do know she can move her lips, so maybe that explains it. Her relation to Jessica doesn't. Unfortunately, I left the room before the booing, and missed that. I would have loved it.

As for the U2 video debut, who cares? It's just a rehash of Where the Streets Have No Name, and hasn't everyone in the world seen Bono kiss a teenaged girl from the stage and make her swoon? That was hot back when I was a teenaged girl (at which point I would have swooned had Larry Mullen done it) but now it's just lech-y.

question re practical ways to dump someone

Quote:

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
This is very smart advice. A little melodramatic in the phrasing, but very good.

I disagree. Telling someone there are still feelings but there's no future is translated like so: "He's telling me that he still cares, but unless I change (in some minor way), there's no future."

When it's over, say it's over.

And if you're weak and you fuck them after you want it to be over, you deserve what you get.

TM

question re practical ways to dump someone

Quote:

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
I disagree. Telling someone there are still feelings but there's no future is translated like so: "He's telling me that he still cares, but unless I change (in some minor way), there's no future."

When it's over, say it's over.

Essentially the breakup advice is the same as the firing advice. But Leagl might have taken things too far:

http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/01/04/she....ap/index.html

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On his first day on the job, the new sheriff called 27 employees into his office, stripped them of their badges, fired them, and had rooftop snipers stand guard as they were escorted out the door.

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Fuck the bowls. Just fuck the bowls. I'm not saying USC didn't deserve it. They probably would have crucified Auburn, but fuck the bowl system. The day I waste 3 hrs watching USC and OK duke it out is the day I admit Camus was right and step in front of a fucking bus.

Over 500 yards of offense. I love it!

Pete Carroll must love the BCS. Hell, that would give me an excuse to go no-huddle up 30 in the end of the 4th quarter.

Quote:

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Larry Mullen

I was hot for him back in the day. Here is a little story: he lives in my friend's building and according to the doorman, does not tip the staff at Christmas. It's upsetting when your childhood sort-of crushes turn out to be el cheapos.

question re practical ways to dump someone

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1. True. But a nut will stalk no matter how the cord is cut.

2. Absolutely. I will never listen to any jackass tell me about his/her saga involving the rekindling of a relationship after drunken booty call. Jerk off or use your vibrator to get past the horniness.

question re practical ways to dump someone

Quote:

I didn't translate it like that at all. I took it at face value - it's basically what my husband and I told each other and is a pretty honest representation of the facts - i.e. we have feelings for each other but it's not going to work. So end of story.

question re practical ways to dump someone

Quote:

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I didn't translate it like that at all. I took it at face value - it's basically what my husband and I told each other and is a pretty honest representation of the facts - i.e. we have feelings for each other but it's not going to work. So end of story.

And ditto for me.