I Love the Timmy Strikes Back
 

Word! Get the money, dollar dollar bill y'all!

What was that? PLF outed?
 

Did I just hear Joe Buck say to Tim McCarver "you're like a little flower"?!

Sportscasters say the strangest things.

Paper clips
 

Oh yes, yes, yes, indeed. Ten copies of everything. Never enough. My paralegal refuses to do this and thinks one copy is enough, then can never find it and has to break apart the judge's original to make copies.

URGENT -- FB Expert Advice Needed
 

Translation*: Please don't think I'm a virgin.


*All royalties go to the Head for Thurgreed Fund, where his taste is a terrible thing to mind.

Lounge Lizard
 

Hello, fashionable lawtalkers! Montecore, here, with a little update as to my wellbeing. First of all, thanks to all of you for your extensive lobbying efforts on my behalf. I consider this a giant first step towards protecting the civil rights of all Mutant Inbred Tigers everywhere. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

As you undoubtedly have heard, I am safely out of "quarantine" (again, thank you) and I am resting comfortably at the Secret Garden. I am not longer being exploited by being made to jump through hoops by those whining rhinestoned freakboys.

Trouble is, I actually miss performing. I'm bored. I miss the lights. I miss the adoring crowd. I miss the glamour of the Vegas Strip. And, let's face it, I miss the hookers and blow as much as any cat.

So I'm trying to put a little comedy act together. I'm giving you, my largest supporters, a little sneak peak. I'd appreciate your feedback (ha ha, I'm a natural).

Good evening, folks!!! I'm your furry, funny feline Montecore! Anybody from out of town tonight?

[chirp, chirp]

Oooooooo. Tough crowd. Grrrrrrr! You may have heard me mentioned in the news lately. I've been making headlions! [ba dump dump] As you know, a few Fridays ago, I decided to take a walk on the wild side and sample the flesh of my trainer Roy. Which was too bad. Because everyone knows that tigers like to eat people on Chewsdays. [ba dump dump]

[chirp, chirp]

Help me out here, folks. I don't dance - this is all I do. But seriously, I really feel bad about the whole Roy situation. He's doing better, but still, I just feel sick about it - let's face it, you just can't keep a good man down. [ba dump dump] You'll be glad to learn that everything came out okay in the end. [ba dump dump]

[raucous laughter]

Can't say I didn't enjoy the experience, though. If I had my way I'd be feeding off his corpse like ABC off John Ritter. [ba dump dump]

[more raucous laughter]

But, despite me almost eating him alive, things remain tight between Roy and me. I was at his bedside when he awoke. He asked if I had anything to say for myself. I said, "Yeah. I'm Montecore. Pleased to eat you." [ba dump dump] He said, "Oh yeah? I've got half a mind to have you put to sleep." Lucky for me that half of his mind was in a pouch in his stomach.

[thunderous applause]

Thank you folks. You've been wonderful. Thank you for your support, and I know you'll want to see me working with Celine soon.

Lounge Lizard
 

Tell me this. Does Roy taste like chicken?

I Love the Timmy Strikes Back
 

Actually, I knew "Remote Control" was earlier. I think Aloha was just using that as an example of the first non-music video programming on MTV.

That said, I also liked RC as well as Beavis & Butthead. The thing that distinguished them from dreck like "Real World" and their ilk is that music videos were still an integral part of these shows.

I don't necessarily mind that MTV had 2-4 hours of non-music video programming per day to break things up, especially back when they didn't have the quantity of videos that they have now. (I mean, seriously, how many times can one stomach "We Built this City" (hi Paigow!) played in a day. I also didn't mind the genre shows like "Yo! MTV Raps" and the metal show, the name of which escapes me at the moment.

However, I could give a rat's ass about what Snoop Dogg's crib looks like, or watching Steve-O set his nuts on fire. I saw a tour of Snoop Dogg's crib a few years ago on "The Man Show" and it was far more entertaining than any treatment MTV could give it, and as to the other, I just have no interest. Management at MTV ought to be honest and rename the channel, as most of the programming now is at best only tangentially related to music.

Now that I'm thinking about it, it may have been 1994 that MTV almost completely abandoned music videos. Does that sound closer to being right?

I Love the Timmy Strikes Back
 

Three things:

1. I smell a new board motto.

2. That may possibly be the best avatar I've ever seen.

3. I see you "retired" much like Michael Jordan, Cher, Kiss, and The Who retired, NTTAWWT.

(Either that, or you do PLF almost as well as PLF - Bravo Penske!)

Lounge Lizard
 

Please do, now that you have the taste for human flesh.

Edited to add: Hat Trick!

Lounge Lizard
 

Montecore is a very cute kitty cat. Love the avatar. I personally would like to see him work with Clay Aiken who would be purrrrrrrrrrfect for the show as he already has that not quite human look of too much plastic surgery. He is Robin to Siegfried's Backman.

I Love the Timmy Strikes Back
 

It was also, I think, one of the earliest known appearances of Adam Sandler on television. I believe he played both "Stud Man" and "Stick Pin" Quinn, Colin's cousin who was always recently released from juvie.

I Love the Timmy Strikes Back
 

That'd be Headbangers' Ball, and I think its still on at like 3 in the morning.

I Love the Timmy Strikes Back
 

It was sad, actually. The day they first played the video for "Evenflow," you could see all the hair bands die.

P(a damned good day for me, by the way)J

Game 5 Haiku
 

"Why work out?" Wells quips
challenging the Baseball Gods.
Kiss 6 mill goodbye

Fish lack strong closer
let the stormtroopers get close
good thing Lee is tall

Whiskey-voiced cliches
unlike Lisa, knows the game
I heart Jeanne Z

Furiiiinnngeeeeyyyy!
 

Your zero-trick lizard has a trick. He barks!

And stalks.

And he has the remote control. You know I can't stand star trek, so can you come in here and take him outside?

[or maybe feed him to Robust Puppy?]