Proud moments in parenting.
 

Translation: Ollie's kids will like the noir one day, too.

Father's Day in Anaheim
 

So I spent Father's Day with the Gaplets at Disneyland. Because -- let's admit it, guys -- we can moan and bitch about wanting to watch the games all day, or searing some meat on the grill, but what we really want to do is spend some time in Anaheim. Am I right, or am I right?

By the way, Disneyland says "hi."

So while I was sitting in a flat boat listening to It's a Small World, I contemplated how much Disney (and theme parks generally) are about time management. Really, they're almost entirely about time management, as attested by the existence of the sprawling cottage industry dedicated to maximizing your fun/minimizing your dollars and headaches at these things.

I was reminded of this scientific discipline when I saw Disney's new Finding Nemo Submarine ride, located, somewhat improbably, in Tomorrowland.

http://www.mouseinfo.com/gallery/files/1/NemoSub3.jpg

For the last month or two, the greater Southern California area as been saturated with a media blitz worthy of a major motion picture, all dedicated to this friggin' ride. It "launched" earlier this month.

Anticipating the deluge, I was wary of getting anywhere near it. Instead, I encouraged the boys instead to focus on Buzz Lightyear or Autopia or PleaseGodAnythingButThat. Fortunately, they were content with those options, and we didn't have to have an argument about Nemo. But I could see from afar the attention it's getting.

I remember press reports suggesting that the ride is designed to process about 3000 passengers per hour. That's a Herculean number, to be sure, but it only makes more daunting the line that assembled to ride it. At the end, the sign suggested that the wait time was 150 minutes.

No, really. 150 minutes.

The ride itself lasts 12 minutes. I honestly couldn't think of a justifiable reason for a 2.5 hour wait in the sun for a 12 minute payoff, at least not one that legitimately could be found within the confines of a children's amusement park. So we moved on.

Gattigap

Duff beer for me, duff beer for you . . .
 

Doesn't this suggest that while about time management, it's about maximizing the amount of time you can wait without revolting?

Father's Day in Anaheim
 

aHHHH, as a youth a typical Friday night involved a 4 hour wait for a 12 SECOND payoff . . .

Double stroller update
 

So after going back and forth, we bought a Phil & Teds Sport (the successor to the e3), and I tried it for the first time this weekend (albeit with only 1 kid, because No. 2 isn't scheduled to make an appearance until August). It's light, agile, and my kid was comfortable, which si all you can ask for.

Double stroller update
 

Did you get an iPhone yet?

I Am a Cliche
 

We ended up getting a Honda Odyssey EX-L with DVD. It's huge, with more bells and whistles than we've ever had before (leather seats, zoned climate controls, in-dash CD changer, DVD system, 15! cup holders, heated seats, etc. etc.).

tm

I Am a Cliche
 

I only have 8 cup holders in my sedan. Damn. I feel inadequate.

I Am a Cliche
 

But you don't have any kids. So you could pack in 8 big gulps just for you. Or 4 big gulps and four of those tubes of cookies in cupholder size packages.

Mmmm (zero cupholders and proud of it) Burger

I Am a Cliche
 

What do you drive? A Yugo?

I Am a Cliche
 

I like your sig line almost as much as if it were one I had written. I don't drink big gulps, but I may have to get one of those Simpsons drinks at the Kwik-E-Mart. I can't remember the name. I may have a sinus infection.

At Citibank we will meet accidentally.
 

She wants the car with the cupholder armrest. Can you blame her?

I have four cupholders in my Geezermobile sedan. I use all of them at once on occasion, primarily when I am stocking up on bottles of Ale-8 and Wink for those long drives to depositions in Beaucoup Egypt and Fur Peace.

I Am a Cliche
 

A squishee?

I Am a Cliche
 

A car made for driving, not imbibing. Appearances to the contrary, I can go without food and water for durations greater than the usual car trip.

At Citibank we will meet accidentally.
 

Not Bob dropping the Cake references. Hip. Ster.