Dante Test
 

Naughty Altar Guild jokes aside, "pillar of salt" was a Hebrew euphemism for a barren woman. Lot's wife was punished for her disobedience by being made sterile. The reason the story makes it sound literal is that she's never mentioned again, and so to the modern ear, she sounds horribly dead. But she's not mentioned again only because she could no longer do anything Biblically relevant (i.e., bear great heroic children).*

Not everybody would consider this a punishment, mind you. I think Bilmore would have gladly gazed upon Sodom. And I'm sure Slave does so daily.

A(Will the real Cliff Claven please stand up?)G

P.S. I vaguely remember posting this story on the Stalin Board, but it's my favorite illustration of why fundamentalist wingnuts are always completely wrong about the Hebrew Bible, so I'll post it again and again.

Bass ackwards
 

Absolutely. But while we all have a suspicion that women bring in as much dough as the men, none of us are sure of it. On the other hand, I am very sure that the men are on the court longer.

Bass ackwards
 

Wires crossed in the brain, I meant three. Both times. Really. But thanks for giving me a chance to edit my post before you quoted it so that the error could haunt me forever.

r(tail wagging left today)p

speaking of puppies
 

I've finally "met" the person who buys those posters of the little kitty cat hanging from a thread with the caption, "Hang in there." When it gets so cute that everyone around you wants to tuaot, you should think to yourself, "Should I really share this?"

TM

Pussy revisited
 

FWIW, a friend of mine just told me that she's pretty evenly spread out all over hell, except for the first two pussy levels.

speaking of puppies
 

Notes to self:

Thurgreed does NOT like pictures of puppies. Delete email from outbox.

Slave kicks puppies. Stay out of his kitchen.

Pussy revisited
 

Taken out of context, this is pretty funny. Also a horrible visual.

speaking of puppies
 

Are you calling her a twat?

What the hell is tuaot?

And, now that twat has come up, is this worse or better than cunt? I don't think it came up. I have to say, once a client (female) used the phrase "pain in my twat" on the phone and the partner in the room was horrified.

speaking of puppies
 

I think he means throw up all over themselves. But I had the same reaction.

Pussy revisited
 

Those of you who are going to spend all of eternity down below me (which includes, by my count, everyone but Deuced) are just jealous.

speaking of puppies
 

It's an off shoot of TUAOM.

TUAOM is my own creation. I decided I needed an acronym if you people were going to insist on using LOL and NTTAWWT, etc.

It stands for Throw up all over myself.

T(uao)M

speaking of puppies
 

I think it's better. Why, I don't know. Maybe just because it is slightly more obscure. Maybe also because I have an audio of an English friend of mine opining that someone or other is a "complete twat," meaning basically the same thing as "prat." But I also have an audio of this friend calling guys on his football team a bunch of "cunts," so that doesn't mean anything.

speaking of puppies
 

Ah. Part of my confusion may stem from the fact that if I'm going to throw up on someone, it's not going to be me -- I find someone deserving and throw up on them.

speaking of puppies
 

When I think of the word "twat" I think of the time some really drunken friends were debating whether it was "more proper" to call a certain area the "t'aint" or the "t'isn't"

A Little Levity
 

Brought to you by one of my colleagues:



On a Septic Tank Truck sign:
> "We're #1 in the #2 business."
> **************************
>
> Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
> "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
> **************************
>
> At a Proctologist's door
> "To expedite your visit please back in."
> **************************
>
> On a Plumber's truck:
> "We repair what your husband fixed."
> **************************
>
> On a Plumber's truck:
> "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
> **************************
>
> Pizza Shop Slogan:
> "7 days without pizza makes one weak."
> **************************
>
> At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
> "Invite us to your next blowout."
> **************************
>
> On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:
> "Hello. Can we p ick your nose?"
> **************************
>
> At a Towing company:
> "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
> **************************
>
> On an Electrician's truck:
> "Let us remove your shorts."
> **************************
>
> In a Nonsmoking Area:
> "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate
> action."
> **************************
>
> On a Maternity Room door:
> "Push. Push. Push."
> **************************
>
> At an Optometrist's Office
> "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right
place."
> **************************
>
> On a Taxidermist's window:
> "We really know our stuff."
> **************************
>
> In a Podiatrist's office:
> "Time wounds all heels."
> ************************ **
>
> On a Fence:
> "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."
> **************************
>
> At a Car Dealership:
> "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
> **************************
>
> Outside a Muffler Shop:
> "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
> **************************
>
> In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
> "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
> **************************
>
> At the Electric Company:
> "We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
> However, if you don't, you will be."
> **************************
>
> In a Restaurant window:
> "Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."
> **************************
>
> In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
> "Drive carefully. We'll wait."
>
> **************************
> At a Propane Filling Station,
> "Tank heaven for little grills."
> **************************
> < BR> And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:
> "Best place in town to take a leak."