Bitch pretty please.
 

I did what I did so I could talk about banging Kim Possible without sparking a debate about the con law aspects of interdimensional marriage on the PB. I'm a giver.

But coincidentally, I am a bald man walking the streets of NYC in a mink coat and Chuck Taylors. In B&W.

Prettier than the Flower
 

This one is pretty good too


http://i.cnn.net/cnn/offbeat/gallery...bulldog.ap.jpg

Poll: Poem
 

Faith Poem

(a poem about Faith)
I don't know how to do anytthing
I am trying to move mountains with words
But I am an ant
I scribble
I drool
I move like a worm
whose world
(words)
encompassed a mile
How do I rise above?
Where will this worm
find wings?
I look in the mirror
and I see filth
Who is that?
Where did The Angel go?
Why is there dirt
staring back at me?
Why is the soil of
incompetence beneath my nails
Why does doubt paint
blue rings
beneath my eyes and
stain my skin
Why does my spine assume failure
Why do my lips
flirt with they sky;
why do I try to lasso
Beauty with such a
pitiful rope?
Where is the hair of Rapunzel
or Samson?
Where is my sling
Where is my stone,
My gun?
Where is the weapon with which
I may fight this apathy
that feels like sleep
in my limbs
that loosens my brother's smile
That kills my neighbor's daughter
This pen is scrawny and hardly
seems able to ink out
or erase this plague that
infests my
Generation
This Giant, This Ogre
This Beast, This Death
that assumes a million faces,
that borrows my own.

http://www.smoe.org/lists/jewel/angels/poetry.html

"Where will this worm find wings" has got to mean something dirty.

Vote Nader!
 

I think many people, including me, would suggest that re-electing Bush is not an effective way to trying to change a long histry of oppression and discrimination.


Edited to add: I was going to apologize for responding to such an old message on a political topic, but then I saw all the post about bad poetry (which generally means any poetry), starbucks and Paigow reminding us how she is cooler, and classer, than everyone else and decided I wasn't sorry.

VoteBush!
 

Unless one is talking about the oppression of the IRS Adder, you ignorant demosocialist fool!

Speaking of which, my anxiety level is rising in anticipation of April 15th. I hate income taxes and everything the faux liberal elitist slob socialist proponents of the same stand for, as any rightminded citizen of the Red States of Bush Country knows this income tax thuggery goes against the core values on which this once great nation was founded. Our Founding Fathers, Jefferson, Madison, Hamilton, Franklin, Washington, et al. etc.etc. are surely vomiting in the Lord’s great bathroom in the sky as ideals and values that they fought for no longer matter to the commie bureaucrats who have hijacked the Government of the People and created a vilely crude caricature of the land of the free that they created in 1776. Tragically, sadly, sadly tragically, the Great Constitutional Republic that the founding fathers created with the help of the invisible hand of the Lord died a brutal death in 1913.

And now the common man, a man of the people, such as myself, in the great heartland of the former America, is becoming physically sick at the thought of the preparation of the 1040 form.
Income taxes give me the same feeling that any normal red-blooded male (or lady loving lesbionic female for that matter) would get if he (or she) were forced to share a conjungle bed with Hillary Clinton.

OTOH, unlike the demon IRS, at least I have some faith that one way or another the Beast Hillary's going to die one day. Either which way, I have my arsenal locked and loaded for the day one or both of those devil’s spawns darkens my doorstep!

Peace be with all y’all!

From the Bunker,
Dr. Whoopie

VoteBush!
 

Fuck this. Joan and Melissa are on the red carpet in 10 minutes. Focus!

Two hot Brazilians
 

Two hot Brazilians
 

Wow.

Still Not Amused
 

*sigh*

Oscar
 

Renee.

http://cache.eonline.com/Features/Aw....zellweger.jpg

I just don't find her attractive. Nope. Nor do I find:

http://cache.eonline.com/Features/Aw.../rcp.tyler.jpg

Liv very attractive either.

aV

Oscars
 

Uma: disaster. She looked like Gretel puffed out with helium, a waist-cinched meringue. Didn't we already suffer through this stupid bavarian folkwear/proto-gypsy crap for evening wear in the 70s and mercifully kill it then after one season?

Marcia Gay Harden: hideous bulbous 60s frozen helmet-head hair. Nice dress.

Jada Pinkett Smith: was that satin camo? or spit-up splotches on her skirt? A rare misstep.

Nicole: utterly redeemed from the golden globes.

Johnny Depp: has bathed at last.

whatever
 

It's not my fault that you can't comprehend that some people take life and themselves much less seriously then you do. Get over yourself.

Oscar roundup
 

First, the best slideshow I've found so far, for everyone's conveninece:

http://www.style.com/peopleparties/p...umb/030104OSCR

My summary:

They all did pretty well this year. A much higher proportion of really good dresses, fewer complete and abject failures, and those less eggregious than usual.

First - my happy surprises:

Julia Roberts. Looked amazing. I usually am lukewarm about her dresses, particularly the ones the press goes nuts about, but she did really well here. The whole bias cut satin thing did very well by a large number of women this year (Angelina Jolie, Liv Tyler, Sophia Coppola).

Jennifer Garner's dress was superb, and she looked wonderful. I think she tends to look inelegant (too bony/muscular under feminine, clingy dresses - she looks like an underfed scrawny man most of the time) but this was a definite hit. Maybe it's just that the thing had a skirt on it, so it gave the appearance of actual hips & shape.

Next - my "what the fuck was that?" category:

Vanessa Paradis. But I'm getting used to that.

Uma Thurman. She's hit and miss, which I generally respect because it shows one is trying and willing to take some risks. But this was a miss. Salon called it a "Faberge baked potato."

Sandra Bullock. WTF? It looked like she was attacked by the Fredericks of Hollywood Maribou Fairy.

Charlize Theron's nuclear-fall-out-flash-burns. Babe, there's a reason everyone has turned to fake tanner, and it's not just skin health, it's that it doesn't cause that raw, red color that makes you look like you've just been scoured with pumice.

Jada Pinkett Smith. I know the dress was, independently amazing. But she just can't seem to make anything look good. Maybe it's the Jennifer Garner thing - she's too bony, boyish and muscular. Maybe it's that she's little bitty tiny, and therefore the clothes, built for Amazons mostly, just end up wearing her. But she routinely does not look good. I just want to shriek "get some fucking hips and then come back!"

Holly Hunter. Dunno why, and it is nice to see her breaking out some serious dresses, but she never seems to quite make it for me. I think perhaps because she is dressing too young and fluffy, but I'm not sure. Something just doesn't hang together here. Still, as one of the "little bitty and bony-muscular" club, she comes off looking better than Jada or, usually, Jennifer G.

People who looked amazing:

Julianne Moore looked like a Goddess. Which was a relief, because she tends to end up in dresses that show off how aged her figure is getting.

Susan Sarandon. GLad to know being a lefty doesn't prevent her from wearing elitist, consumerist Tom Ford. And it's always welcome to see a woman of her age whose tits can still hold up a bodice like that.

Jude Law's girlfriend whatshername. I love the colors, it was very pretty.

Patricia Clarkson. She has quietly been one of the best dressed people at these things for the last year or two. She always looks gorgeous.

Renee Zellwegger. Carolina Herrera is for old ladies, but it does definitely work. Dislike her though one may, she hits much more frequently than she misses at these things.

Naomi Watts. She was prepared to stand up and take that award. Good for her.

Diane Lane. I know this dress was sort of "suburban mall where the rich middle-aged ladies in town go to get their "classy" dresses for the annual library fundraiser," very Cache, but it still worked.

Annie Lennox.

People who looked "feh":

Scarlett Johannsen. There's been a good bit of buzz about how amazing this dress was, but it just didn't work for me. Didn't fit well enough or something.

Robin Wright Penn. Bag of bones syndrome, again, not really the dress, which was black basic and boring.

Catherine Z-J. Color was amazing, but the cut just didn't work. She should have worn the dress that the woman from House of Sand and Fog was in - that would have been a show stopper. (Might have been on her, too, if she'd gotten her hair away from her face and gotten it properly fitted about the waist.)

Golf and Oscars
 

While watching the Match Play Championships (which Tiger Woods won), I was amazed to hear pieces of In Da Club and Hey Ya being played before it went to commercials. Truly, golf is one of the last frontiers in terms of what stuffy white people will accept. I was amazed. What strides we have made! What break throughs! And then I watched the Oscars. Three brothers in attendance. Will, Jada and Djimon. One nominee. No winners.

I'm not saying someone was overlooked for work that should have been recognized. But wow. That's the lilliest looking audience I've ever seen. And when they brought all the winners to the stage, you see how homogenous Hollywood is across the board -- right down to the sound editors.

TM

Oscar roundup
 

Agreed and agreed. I think that the cut of the top of JG's dress was the right style for her finally. I didn't love the overskirt, but maybe it was necessary. Usually her arms and chest are what makes her look a little off, and this dress finally worked with her upper body shape.

Scarlett's dress was not good for her. seemed to fit oddly in the abdomen/hips. Made her look hippy (not in the spinning, druggie sort of way) even though I'm sure she isn't. Disappointing again. I'm still waiting to see what Ty (?) sees in her. But then due to dvd player issues, I haven't seen Lost in Translation yet...