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-   -   General discussion - Mom and Dad Esq. (http://www.lawtalkers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=107)

viet_mom 11-24-2008 10:10 PM

Re: Or grandfather
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy (Post 372192)
I agree that I have no reason to stick my nose into their business. But he's an Uncle - he gets to interfere. In my family, uncles often interfere in their nieces and nephews lives, even when they're not the father.

Hello all. It's amazing how strongly people feel about pro and anti medicine for kids. Vietbabe's Aunt (my Sis) scolded me for not immediately putting Vietbabe on meds when she was diagnosed 3 weeks ago with "severe ADHD" (causing her to be very behind in language/phonics and other learning issues). Yet...just a few hours ago I met with Vietbabe's teacher for parent/teacher conference (she had read Vietbabe's neuropsych. report which recommends meds as an option) and when I told her I wasn't putting Vietbabe on meds, she was so relieved she actually shed tears and told me she was upset to see the medicine recommendation in the report b/c she hates the thought of Vietbabe's personality changing (despite terrible learning, she is so happy and confident and sweet) and thinks she can work with Vietbabe academically. She even told me she'd spoke with her husband about how she was so worried Vietbabe's Mom would put her on meds and she and hubby were hoping I didn't.

Wow! Such strong, heartfelt emotions from both my Sister and the teacher on different ends of the spectrum! I think if your kid (like mine) is not having behavioral problems and is happy and confident, maybe it's easy to say "No" to the meds (and just keep working on other ways to help learning...we're doing Orton-Gillingham private reading tutor$ twice a week). But when you see your child anxious or depressed....I imagine it is harder to dismiss taking meds. Are we sure the Xanax would be taken regularly? Or maybe only during very difficult times. Most everyone I know that takes Xanax pops them only during a tough time. I have a stash of a similar drug that I take every once in a while if I'm legitimately upset by something and I can't sleep. But that's only b/c I'm allergic to alcohol. I imagine I'd have a glass of wine instead. Truth be told, I like the pure effect of the Xanax-type drug without the side effects of wine. I think if my teen was up all night crying over being jilted by a boyfriend, I might be fine giving her a Xanax the next night to help her sleep. That sort of thing. Sorry for the long post.

Atticus Grinch 11-25-2008 01:39 AM

Re: The Mama, the Mama -- Tradition!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski (Post 372338)
and on a day when i gave you world class advice, there should be only a selection of my advice posts in your final list for post of the day

What I do want is for you to stand there in that faggoty cartoon avatar and with your Harvard mouth extend me some fucking courtesy. You gotta ask me nicely.

Greedy,Greedy,Greedy 11-25-2008 10:45 AM

Re: Or grandfather
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by viet_mom (Post 372349)
Hello all. It's amazing how strongly people feel about pro and anti medicine for kids. Vietbabe's Aunt (my Sis) scolded me for not immediately putting Vietbabe on meds when she was diagnosed 3 weeks ago with "severe ADHD" (causing her to be very behind in language/phonics and other learning issues). Yet...just a few hours ago I met with Vietbabe's teacher for parent/teacher conference (she had read Vietbabe's neuropsych. report which recommends meds as an option) and when I told her I wasn't putting Vietbabe on meds, she was so relieved she actually shed tears and told me she was upset to see the medicine recommendation in the report b/c she hates the thought of Vietbabe's personality changing (despite terrible learning, she is so happy and confident and sweet) and thinks she can work with Vietbabe academically. She even told me she'd spoke with her husband about how she was so worried Vietbabe's Mom would put her on meds and she and hubby were hoping I didn't.

Wow! Such strong, heartfelt emotions from both my Sister and the teacher on different ends of the spectrum! I think if your kid (like mine) is not having behavioral problems and is happy and confident, maybe it's easy to say "No" to the meds (and just keep working on other ways to help learning...we're doing Orton-Gillingham private reading tutor$ twice a week). But when you see your child anxious or depressed....I imagine it is harder to dismiss taking meds. Are we sure the Xanax would be taken regularly? Or maybe only during very difficult times. Most everyone I know that takes Xanax pops them only during a tough time. I have a stash of a similar drug that I take every once in a while if I'm legitimately upset by something and I can't sleep. But that's only b/c I'm allergic to alcohol. I imagine I'd have a glass of wine instead. Truth be told, I like the pure effect of the Xanax-type drug without the side effects of wine. I think if my teen was up all night crying over being jilted by a boyfriend, I might be fine giving her a Xanax the next night to help her sleep. That sort of thing. Sorry for the long post.

Orton Gillingham works wonders. You may want to check out this program - they run a teaching program, where they teach O-G to people who agree to take on a number of students. The program is free, and in many areas they actually need more kids. But, they are a bit picky about who they take - they do an assessment and figure out if they think your kid is likely to be highly benefited by their program. Our oldest had her reading level jump 6 grade levels after one year. You also might want to look at RAVE-O (the pilot is here: http://ase.tufts.edu/crlr/raveo.html ), which may turn out to be the next thing after O-G.

viet_mom 11-25-2008 11:26 AM

Re: Or grandfather
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy (Post 372375)
Orton Gillingham works wonders. You may want to check out this program - they run a teaching program, where they teach O-G to people who agree to take on a number of students. The program is free, and in many areas they actually need more kids. But, they are a bit picky about who they take - they do an assessment and figure out if they think your kid is likely to be highly benefited by their program. Our oldest had her reading level jump 6 grade levels after one year. You also might want to look at RAVE-O (the pilot is here: http://ase.tufts.edu/crlr/raveo.html ), which may turn out to be the next thing after O-G.

This is nice to hear. As for the Masonic program, that is the first place the doctor directed me to and we have one in walking distance from our house. Unfortunately, there is a 18 month waiting list. Same for all the centers within 100 miles! So I had to find a private OG tutor. I will check out the RAVE-O. Thanks!! (PS-I never knew what those scary Mason buildings were about)

Greedy,Greedy,Greedy 11-25-2008 11:40 AM

Re: Or grandfather
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by viet_mom (Post 372376)
This is nice to hear. As for the Masonic program, that is the first place the doctor directed me to and we have one in walking distance from our house. Unfortunately, there is a 18 month waiting list. Same for all the centers within 100 miles! So I had to find a private OG tutor. I will check out the RAVE-O. Thanks!! (PS-I never knew what those scary Mason buildings were about)

Wow. No waiting list here at all - it's just a question of whether your child is dire enough to get in.

viet_mom 11-25-2008 12:41 PM

Re: Or grandfather
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy (Post 372378)
Wow. No waiting list here at all - it's just a question of whether your child is dire enough to get in.

They did call when they got my application (which requires a copy of a report saying your child needs it). The report clearly states that after 2 years of kindergarten level of schooling, Vietbabe doesn't even have the "precursors" for reading and is at the pre-k level. They said "Sorry but we're booked for over a year but we'll give you a call if a child drops out but that's not likely". Then I begged for the names of instructors who could do it on their own time (and my dime) like at night or weekends and they say the program is free and they don't give out names of instructors. I made every call possible to find an OG tutor, even calling the college in Amenia, NY where it's taught. I put an ad on Craigslist. It was like a full time job getting one. I could go on and on. I finally found one. I don't know how great she is. I'm trying to listen in from another room.

1436 11-25-2008 12:58 PM

Re: Or grandfather
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by viet_mom (Post 372349)
Wow! Such strong, heartfelt emotions from both my Sister and the teacher on different ends of the spectrum!

No doubt.

My niece is on ritilan and is a poster child for how well that drug can work. I could go on and on about how it has made her life immeasurably better, but will spare you.

But, when she had a string of bad grades and not turning things in the parents took her to the doctor to get her dose adjusted and also talked to her about the importance of getting everything done at school. For various reasons the new dose was not going to start for another week.

Between going to the doctor and starting the new dose there was such an improvement the teacher called to tell Mom that whatever happened she has really turned around. Mom was actually mad and assumed that teacher was just treating her differently. It took a bit of explaining to convince Mom that her child may not have needed a med adjustment, just a sit down to go over what was happening. Like what we used to call parenting.

It is a tough balance.

It is only made harder by the fact that you love the brats so much and would literally do anything to help them. The rub is in figuring out what actually helps.

Hank Chinaski 11-25-2008 01:44 PM

Re: Or grandfather
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by 1436 (Post 372392)
It is only made harder by the fact that you love the brats so much and would literally do anything to help them. The rub is in figuring out what actually helps.

so true. that's what makes it easy for Penske to be so flippant here. His kids look just like Atticus' so P. knows they aren't his. Of course, he doesn't realize that the fact his kids look like Atticus' really means their mine, but same result.

1436 11-25-2008 03:22 PM

Re: Or grandfather
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski (Post 372401)
so true. that's what makes it easy for Penske to be so flippant here. His kids look just like Atticus' so P. knows they aren't his. Of course, he doesn't realize that the fact his kids look like Atticus' really means their mine, but same result.

You are a very giving soul.

Atticus Grinch 11-25-2008 07:55 PM

Goddamnit.
 
Pancreatic cancer fucking sucks.

Greedy,Greedy,Greedy 11-25-2008 08:25 PM

Re: Goddamnit.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch (Post 372523)
Pancreatic cancer fucking sucks.

Yes, it does. I am so sorry. I fear to ask whether it is you, or someone close to you, not even knowing which you may find worse.

Atticus Grinch 11-25-2008 08:32 PM

Re: Goddamnit.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy (Post 372531)
Yes, it does. I am so sorry. I fear to ask whether it is you, or someone close to you, not even knowing which you may find worse.

Didn't mean to cause a panic. I promise that if I get a diagnosis I'll break it to the board in a more profound and touching way.

A friend died last night. He leaves behind a wife and three kids, the youngest aged four.

Greedy,Greedy,Greedy 11-25-2008 08:42 PM

Re: Goddamnit.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch (Post 372534)
Didn't mean to cause a panic. I promise that if I get a diagnosis I'll break it to the board in a more profound and touching way.

A friend died last night. He leaves behind a wife and three kids, the youngest aged four.

That does indeed suck.

Hank Chinaski 11-25-2008 09:00 PM

Re: Goddamnit.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch (Post 372534)
Didn't mean to cause a panic. I promise that if I get a diagnosis I'll break it to the board in a more profound and touching way.

i'd invite the socks i don't like to a bar and bomb vest them. but you I'd have a drink with elsewhere before:P

Icky Thump 11-25-2008 09:54 PM

Re: Or grandfather
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by viet_mom (Post 372349)
Vietbabe's Aunt (my Sis) scolded me for not immediately putting Vietbabe on meds when she was diagnosed 3 weeks ago with "severe ADHD"

Isn't your kid, like 2?


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