Anybody Have Kids While in Law School?
 

Not here. The impending arrival of our first was announced to me two days after I completed the Bar Exam. Timing was just about perfect.

Anybody Have Kids While in Law School?
 

I'll let you know after the paternity hearing.

Anybody Have Kids While in Law School?
 

Give that man a cigar (apparently the first of many). Wonk and Billmore, your stories are heartening; Hand - something like that was the plan, would that my wife had timing like yours; Pony - yikes (thought probably all too true).

I used to joke about how I would get stuck with all girls because things couldn't once slide my way easily. Murphy found a way to one-up my defeatism.

Thanks for past and future comments.

Anybody Have Kids While in Law School?
 

Two thoughts, that aren't silly:

1) How many paper courses can you take in the Spring? That allows you to control timing somewhat, by avoiding exams.

2) Can you do a clerkship, and take the bar after that? Or maybe your firm will let you take it in Feb.

Anybody Have Kids While in Law School?
 

I disagree with this. Anything short of triplets and I'd go ahead and take the bar immediately. But if at all possible, don't work while studying for it. No one will blink at just studying for the bar the summer after graduation, but if you try to take it some other time, you'll be studying for the bar, raising a kid, and working. While it's doable, I think you'll find that the area that gets shortest shrift in that situation is raising the kid, and this will be disappointing to you.

So sign up for Barbri, take a morning class, read another two hours in the library and then go home. Catch another hour or two of study while the kid naps. You'll be okay.

I guess the other question is: do you already have a job in hand? If so, you're in a lot better position. Last semester grades will be much less critical. Getting As when you've got a three day old may be a challenge, but Cs are a different matter. It would be highly unlikely for a firm to pull an offer for bad last semester grades under the particular circumstances.

Anybody Have Kids While in Law School?
 

2
Numbskull. dads don't do shit for the first 2 years anyway. Who cares.

My own story is sort of instructive. baltassoc's sister was 8 months preggers while I was studying for the bar. So the normal "stop and pop" tension relief i had during LS was not available while bar cramming.
we did stain a dress or two IYKWIM

Anybody Have Kids While in Law School?
 

I'm sure it goes without saying after your treatment of my nephew, but I'm glad you aren't my dad.

Anybody Have Kids While in Law School?
 

I kept the program from a Bar mitsvah I was at last month because there was a solid anecdote about people who criticize others. The Rabbi was explaining why God would rather you work on improving yourself rather than to point to flaws of others. Then there was this great yiddish term for someone who criticizes others. I can't find it though, so I can't post it. I had hoped it would really help several people here to change their attacking styles. anyone know the term?

Anybody Have Kids While in Law School?
 

Did you give the kid any money? Maybe you should have thought of your own responsibilities first. 'Cause Justin is tired of wearing the baltspawns' hand-me-downs. I mean, sure, they fit, and when you come down to it clothes are clothes, but every time he wears the jeans with the butterflies on them the other kids beat the crap out him. You'll be glad to know, though, that I took the pink "Daddy's Little Princess" shirt out of the last box we sent. I just figured it would hurt to much.

the leaving is the hardest part
 

I think most have given advice on how to help the kid, so I won't add to it, but here's some advice on how to help YOU deal with it: if you can, come back and take a peak and see your kid when he/she's done sobbing so you don't feel so awful. Vietbabe loves daycare but every single morning without fail is totally hysterical sobbing when I leave; real, huge sobs and real tears. But then I go make a call on my cell or get coffee and peak back and see her playing and happy and it makes me feel a lot better for the day. (Even though I have effectively removed her from one orphanage and put her in another, but whatever.)

Vietmom (just kidding; I'm so over that thinking)

Anybody Have Kids While in Law School?
 

Its not silly at all, Chief, but I'm inclined to agree with Balt and try to gut out the bar in July. I will reconsider my plans to take two (current state and target state) and take my prospective target state as necessary.

Clerking for anything higher than traffic court is not really viable for me. My field of law is federal, limiting my opportinities to clerk and raising the bar to clear.

I dislike paper classes and it shows in my performance. I'm better overall at targeting an exam, preping for it, attacking it, and getting it over with. Partially why I want to do the same with the bar.

I have a an offer to stay at the firm I've been with (working full time; law school at night). However, I am concerned about long term prospects should I want or need to lateral. My GPA doesn't have far to go before slipping below what might be considered respectable (see clerkship prospects, above) and I do not want to have to hide from my transcript more than I already do. Point of fact, law school had a side benefit of sanitizing my UGPA (see test-taking preference).

I'd like to think I'll feel the same way about that state of priorities, but right now the timing has me vexed. I've tried to be supportive, but I'm afraid I've been less than ecstatic about the news.

Thanks for the support.

Anybody Have Kids While in Law School?
 

Then fake it. Be faux-ecstatic.

You can't change things (I assume) and it will only lessen the joy for the pregnant one if you are ambivalent. Plus, if you fake it well enough, you may psych yourself out enough to really believe it.

Might as well, at this point, eh? It ain't that hard.

Anybody Have Kids While in Law School?
 

I'm a male currently doing the law school at night/ work at a firm during the day/ rampant procreation thing. Child 1 was born October of Year 1. Child 2 was born October of year 3. I am in Year 4 now and our plan is to have Child 3 in September of next year (after the bar exam).

Grades sucked the semester Child 1 was born, but since then I've been doing much better. I tend to chalk the poor grades that single semester up to "figuring law school exams out", rather than blaming it on a colicky infant keeping me awake.

It's definitely doable, and loking back I'm glad I did it this way instead of waiting. A lot depends on how understanding your spouse is. Remember the golden rule: Happy wife, happy life.

If the child is going to arrive during finals make sure you inform the apporpriate Dean at your school. I have a lot of classmates that have had finals deferred a month or so due to child birth. I imagine in this day and age most schools are pretty accomodating if there is a "birth emergency".

Good luck.

Anybody Have Kids While in Law School?
 

I want to thank everyone for the anecdotes, encouragement, and several comforting good wishes.
But I really do need to get back to work...

What if your kid was 26 and living at home still?
 

Those of you with kids, try to imagine if your kid was 26 and still living at home. Just for this one post, that is.

So I was out with a group of people of varying ages, the youngest was 26 and yep you guessed it, still living at home. Ordinarily I don't associate with people that young, but this was a friend of a friend who I didn't know would be there. But I digress.

So she is 26 living at home and has a b/f also living at home and her parents go away for the weekend. She and b/f have a sex party, complete with cock rings, and parents come home early and find the sex toys.

She is upset and looking for advice on how to put this behind her. I say she needs to grow up and get a place of her own (she can afford an apartment, she was just living at home to save money to buy a house). Others in the group tell her not to sweat it that her parents need to see her as the adult that she is.

I say to the others, WTF?!?!?! She is living in their house at age 26. It is no wonder they don't see her as an adult when she is acting like she is still in high school by living with them. I also say, what a fucking cheap ass b/f to not pay for a hotel and wait for the parents to go out of town to show up with the cock ring.

Others in the group say that they would have done the same thing if they were her age - i.e., live at home to save money and have sex in parent's house when parents were out of town.

Am I living in the twilight zone? Could any of you imagine having your homes used for a sex party by your kids at age 26 because they were too cheap to rent their own apartments or get a fucking hotel?!?!?

I am older than 26, but less than a decade older. Did things change that much in less than a decade?!?!?

What if your kid was 26 and living at home still?
 

Yes.

I'm sorry, what was the hypothetical again?

What if your kid was 26 and living at home still?
 

SPEDSEZWHAT

What if your kid was 26 and living at home still?
 

Depends, is her hoo ha pierced? Is yours?

What if your kid was 26 and living at home still?
 

No piercings, no teeth.

What if your kid was 26 and living at home still?
 

On yours, hers or both?

What if your kid was 26 and living at home still?
 

I'm sorry, but I have to ask: Did Penske register mongoose001 through mongoose766?

If so, I apologize on his behalf.

Please continue.

question about running away
 

I have a question for the wise denizens of this board.

If you have an adolescent child who becomes upset, informs her mother that she hates her and runs down the street to a friend's house, what do you think is the appropriate response?

question about running away
 

Give her an hour or two to cool off, call her home, and then apply whatever punishment or discipline presumably led to the blow-up in the first place.

Adolescents tell their parents they hate them on average at least monthly. It's part of the process. The best technique is to ignore it.

Let's Ride Bikes!
 

Any thoughts on the appropriate age for the first two-wheeler? Soon-to-be four Ruth Bader Ramone has been asking for a bike. I don't remember when I started riding, but I think it was older than four. Any opinions/experience as to whether 4 is an appropriate age to leave the trike behind?

Let's Ride Bikes!
 

Based on extensive surveys of our neighborhood, 3 to 6, with 4-5 being most common. But we've seen a couple of them start as early as 3, losing the training wheels by their fourth birthday.

question about running away
 

Concur, of course. However, because this is likely to be a recurring fact pattern, I would encourage the imposition of a rule that the teenager needing to cool off at someone else's house MUST MUST MUST call a third person, neutral and trusted by both sides, to let him/her know where they are. I suggest a spinster aunt, if one can be located. The rules can include the proviso that the trusted third party cannot disclose to the parents where the runaway is until after he/she cools off.

I now know of two separate occasions where "temporary runaway" teens (both girls, NTTAWWT) went to one of their many friends' houses, and Parents at Safe House never thought to call to tell Parents of Runaway she was there --- they assumed too much, or didn't realize the Runaway was spending nights upstairs, too --- and the police got called etc. because the Parents of Runaway couldn't figure out which of their daughters' twenty or so friends was acting as hostess, and all of the friends (at the daughters' instruction!) refused to answer questions. On one of the two occasions, the friends refused to respond even when questioned by uniformed officers, because they had "promised."

Neither girl had any idea how much trouble she'd caused by that simple instruction to her friends not to tell her parents where she was. It makes sense to play out the scenario in advance, so the potential runaway knows that it's not just her parents to whom she's causing agony.

Clown About Town
 

After a really fun 6 months of house searching in a seller's market, enduring the home inspection "no YOU fix it" process, bargaining for a lease extension and the flat out tramautizing move (am I a box bitch?), Vietbabe and I are now the proud owners of one of the 100 very modest, identical cape cods on a quiet street in suburban America. So much for the "privacy" of a home -- everyone is so close that for the first time I need "window treatments". Which leads me to my question about clowns....


The Babe turns two and I was going to have just the cousins over around 2 pm on a Sunday (only day available) for cake and have the clown from last year do his thing for an hour at about 3 pm. But....I don't know what to do about the neighbors, all of whom have kids (at least 2; all young) because none of us have fences, our yards all sort of go together and they'll all see the clown. I've met many of the families already and some have brought "welcome" gifts.

My feeling is the more the merrier so I would welcome the kids over. But do I go around to the different houses and give personal invites (I don't have phone numbers yet) and can I just serve sheet cake for the kids and not even have food offerings for the adults? I am a beginner to "neighborhood protocol" and this environment is so strange. I saw/heard the "ice cream man" for the first time the other day and was so flummoxed, I bolted after him, chasing him down the street like the bionic woman!!

Clown About Town
 

In our neighborhood, there is no "ice cream man" of which you speak. There is a "Music Truck," which slowly travels our suburban streets playing "Turkey in the Straw" at high volume on warm days. The Grinches enjoy the Music Truck, but so far as the Grinch family is concerned, it produces no ice cream.

Street smarts are one thing. Cul-de-sac smarts are another thing altogether.

question about running away
 

And don't experiment. The worst guilt tripped parent story I ever heard happened in Canada. There was a serial killer a few years back who offed young women. One of the early victims, had a fight with mom and leaves. mom says "don't come back tonight, you're locked out for the night." that night she ends up with serial killer husband/wife team. Mom of course regrets the punishment.

Clown About Town
 

Do the Grinches know about Christmas on this utopian cul-de-sac?

question about running away
 

This is such a tough one. If the child generally has carte blanche to go visit her friend down the street anyway, then it may be hard for the parent to verbalize why "running there in the middle of an argument" is so wrong. As one who "escaped" down the street quite a few times myself, I think this is going to happen again even if this runaway behavior is declared "against the rule."

So....having been on the other side of the fence, I would recommend that when things have cooled down, the parent and child have a talk and the parent make clear that running away -- even for a short period of time -- will absolutely not be tolerated so some sort of compromise must be reached when the child feels so crazy that she feels she needs an escape. Maybe an arrangement where the child gets to go to a specific room and be by herself and the parent isn't allowed (for a certain amount of time) to enter the room so the child gets to have the space to herself? This means Mom/Dad can't stand outside the door of the room shouting whatever it is that is making the child so crazy (whether legitimately or not).

If some sort of compromise can be agreed on, I would reduce it to writing (but in as non-legaleaze terms as possible, no pun intended) and/or get the friend down the street (or friend's parent(s)) to be aware of the new arrangement/rule (so they don't harbor a criminal so to speak). I am not saying the parent should change their views or punishments if the child takes the escape route. The only point is to provide the child with some sort of escape when they feel (rightly or wrongly) they're being hassled to the brink -- or to give the child some sort of "big guns" he/she can get out when the child wants the parents to know how extreme the child's frustration level has become in a certain situation.

I hope I'm not being too child-oriented with this approach. Good luck.

Vietmom

question about running away
 

Here I am! Fourth cape cod down on the left on the cul de sac. We like to call ourselves the "cool Aunts" though.

And so begins a lifetime of sisterhood. Even today I'd do time before ratting out a sister/friend. This phenomenon is well known and standard OT for a teenage runaway (a long one that is) is to eavesdrop/record the phone calls of friends/siblings `cause it's rare to get info voluntarily. So.....I'd be sure not to put the child's friend in a bad position and see instead if the child can be made to inform her friend of the new rule. Of course, if the child shows up breathless at friend's and says "the rule has changed; don't tell anyone I'm here" there goes the rule.

question about running away
 

But this anecdote also serves as the basis of why a parent is dead-fucking-serious about the threat that he will call the cops and send them around to everyone's house if he doesn't hear from the mutual check point that the kid's okay.

question about running away
 

How're you ever gonna keep them on the farm once they've seen The Village?

Let's Ride Bikes!
 

If she's big enough to ride a bike with training wheels, then she's big enough to ride. Just be aware that at first, you'll have to help her with the change in leverage and the differing mechanics of a big-kid's bike.

question about running away
 

Numbskull has a kid who is young enough not to know its the fucking ice cream truck, yet he still gives advice on how to deal with the most challenging situation in raising a teen. He's like a walking Sealab episode.

Let's Ride Bikes!
 

Get it done early. Start with training wheels. My 10yo kid (who is athletic, skis and skates very well) just learned to ride a bike this weekend. Once they get older, there is baseball, hockey, soccer & basketball every weekend that occupies their time.

question about running away
 

If you want to make friends, you should be friendly.

{Tip: Do not Google Image search for "Stormy Waters" at work. Holy Bejeezus!}

Fiesta!
 

Anyone have any tips for a 1yo's Bday party - other than keep it short and between naptimes? I am gathering ideas for Nov.

Fiesta!
 

I kept it very simple. I had a circus tent, balloon making clown, magician, live farm animals AND pony rides, pizza, sub sandwiches, a pinata, complicated food for the adults, matching mother daughter outfits from April Cornell with pinafores (Joan Crawford!), personalized party favors for each child, a big sugary birthday cake, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches shaped in the form of butterflies, stars and other cookie-cutter shapes which I made every night and froze in my freezer for a month.

We had a BLAST. To do it all over again, I'd skip the pb sandwich artwork (not worth it), sub sandwiches (not eaten), complicated adult food (they ate pizza), live farm animals (overshadowed by ponies and clown). I'd have a party with pizza or other one themed food and a simple cake, and just kick back and watch a really fun clown. Our clown makes balloons AND ALSO does a mean magic show which required child-audience participation and I have to say the magic show was the hit of the party even for the real young ones who were enthralled. (Actually, the clown is also a personal trainer and is really hot under all that white makeup). Don't spend too much time thinking about party favors - just get some goodie bags, kids don't care. The pinata was also a big hit - they got really medieval on that thing.

Okay - got all that? Sheet cake, pinata, clown who can perform some other function (heh heh) besides clowning, some food. Oh and stick a boom box outside with a CD of some pirated/downloaded classics like Elvis, and 50's stuff like Runaround Sue/Tequila, etc. The kids enjoyed that too.