Halloween
 

Actually, I want to bang JRUSS' unfunny socks that were so unmemorable that I couldn't even remember them. The ultimate non-fuck. Not a hate fuck, because that would require noticing them enough to register an emotion. It would be a fuck of something so immaterial and transient that one forgets one even fucked it. Two years later, one is trying to update their list of who they've had sex with and all one can put down is "some unfunny nothing that took up time and space, but was ultimately no more memorable than jacking off to Brittany Andrews for the eighteenth time, or was it nineteenth, who knows or cares?"

principles question
 

How in the hell could showing off one's tits be a huge matter of principle? Its a set of boobs for chrissakes. What principle could there be which precludes anyone from showing off a very common body part with which everyone is familiar. Its not like we all haven't seen it before...

People in the United States need to be naked more and open about sexuality more. The notion that certain body parts are off limits to public view has no rational basis. That people debate whether breasts may be shown as a matter of principle underscores just how parchial and out of touch we are.

principles question
 

$560,000 (amount of my mortgage).

Let the reverse auction commence.

principles question
 

Yet it would take $1m, and not a penny less, and tax-free as well, for you to flaunt your dick on national tv?

It's a dick and some jiz for chissakes.

A Sad Day for Chef
 

No. I don't think you got my point. Your whole last post was, as usual, automatic pilot. (Terms like "vehement disgust and noxious self-righteous judgment" and "moral shortcomings of a pop singer seem an utterly ludicrous target for ire" or "I'm not as perfectly moral as the rest of the laudable idealists on this board", etc. all show me that you don't really listen. You look for phrases that enable you to post the same old crap under the guise of "creative writing.")

If you want to limit the argument to taking your clothes off, I would say that your misunderstanding my argument. I'm not trying to impose my subjective morals on Britney or anyone else for that matter. If she expresses regret for posing nude or almost nude, I think I can say that selling out (should it lead to more money down the road) for her wasn't worth it. She made like $30 million dollars last year. The extra 5, 10 or 20 million that the skin shots could possible get her over the course of her career (which we can all agree isn't going to implode tomorrow, with or without those shots) is really pointless when you're talking about that kind of money. I am not assigning my morals to her. I'm questioning whether the reward for posing is even significant to her (relatively speaking) considering the feelings she has or may have about herself for doing it. If she is full of shit about regretting doing it and loves every minute of it, then more power to her. Sell yourself to the highest bidder.

But my observation changes when it comes to the dad who is pimping his daughter around to the highest movie of the week bidder and making her do a bunch of interviews about something that objectively speaking couldn't have been a very fun time for their family. You seem to be all for selling out in that scenario, arguing that she seems to be okay and the money she makes during that "small window of opportunity" will make up for any pain she may experience as a result. Bullshit. Money can't help with that.

And you can have the last "creative" word on this topic.

TM

SDs greatest hits
 

Oh come on, aren't you always extolling the fact that you can impassively look at your own foibles? You have contributed to a board catch-phrase, one that shall live on long after you have gone! You should be proud...

Anyway, if there were any way to link directly to posts, I would do so, but if there is such a thing, I haven't uncovered the way to do it. But to get to the point, I was laboring under the delusion that I was the first to point out the ridiculosity of SD's "argument", but I was wro-hong (sung in Patsy Cline voice). Several people beat me to the punch (although, I think while I was busy posting a long-winded answer, these other pretenders stole my thunder.

The following are ripostes (in chronological order) to SD's effort at persuasive reasoning:

IN FIRST PLACE: our fearless leader, leagl (Post #15841)
Leagl's contribution was the timeless:

Oh bitch, please.


IN SECOND PLACE: Greedy-cubed (Post #15853)

(Relatively high pith-score on this one: )
As a general rule, this line only precedes total and absolute BS. Come on, dude, we need higher quality BS from you.


Pathetically in third place : uh, me :rolleyes:
I'm not going to repost, since it's not all that clever (but it's Post #15874 if you don't believe me) -- unlike the fourth-place finisher.....

In the tradition of better late than never, the GRAND PRIZE WINNER, our very own... TYRONE SLOTHROP!!! (Post #15900) It may have been later, but gets my vote for funniest (and pithiest! My love of pith is well-documented, I think we can all agree...):

Highlights include:
I have to admit that I was prepared to disagree with your post, just like I have your other posts on this subject, but then you won me over with this rhetorical tour de force! "Everyone who's posted on this topic knows I'm mainly correct." Brilliant! I must concur. In fact, I think I'll use this trick in my next brief. It'll start, "Bitch, please. Everyone who's argued in this court knows I'm mainly correct. Et cetera . . . ."

(This has taken up about 1/2 of my day.... I have such a rich and rewarding career.)



Edited to provide helpful links to the posts; thanks to Tyrone's kind tutorial, and then to remove the unintended smiley resulting from using [colon][close paren] without a space -- smiley-haters, be warned!

Halloween
 

Sure, but then you've got flair. The rest of us need costumes.

SDs greatest hits
 

Bullseye! (is that two words?) (whatever, you get my drift)

This may be as close to Universal Truth as we'll ever get.

Tears of a Clown
 

Hi all. No new material at this time. But I would like to thank you all for the (mostly positive) feedback I have received so far on the development of my standup routine. I am fielding inquiries from many parties and some interesting opportunities have been presented. I promise to keep all of you, some of my staunchest supporters, in the loop and will inform you of any major developments at the appropriate time.

But this is not all about laughs, hookers, and blow. I am also committed to raising awareness to the larger obstacles that mutant inbred tiger must overcome. All these obstacles, of course, stem from our exploitation at the hands of powerful monied interests who will let nothing come between them and their cynical pursuit of ever larger codpieces. That's why I call your attention to this:

http://www.nypost.com/gossip/41954.htm

(heart-rending account of how I was torn away from the loving clutches of my mother, Shiva, at the tender age of 5 days)

Is it any wonder that there is such a dark side to this white tiger? Can any of you fully understand the sadness I feel when reminded that, while all of you maintain intimacy with Thurgreed's mother, I hardly knew my own?

So, anyway, thank you all again for your overwhelming support for this troubled tiger. And please remember that, while I may be laughing inside, inside I'm just a mutant inbred tiger cub who needs to be loved.

Edit: Oh, and not to toot my own horn, but I look HOT in the linked (worksafe) picture.

Halloween
 

re: costumes. I was thinking of going as the walk of shame. It's been several years since this has actually happened, but I think I can pull it off - evening dress with oversized sweatshirt on top, heels in hand, messed up hair, slightly smeared makeup, fishnets with some small rips. What do you all think?

Halloween
 

The goal for this board, as in life, should be to have the number of enjoyable people you bang greatly outnumber the nameless, unmemorable fucks you generally cannot avoid in life. A ratio of fifty:one should be okay.

Halloween
 

That is a brilliant costume.

For Dat Phan and Robust Puppy
 

I can't even tell which one is the primary, but they do all suck, in varying degrees.

principles question
 

Are you fucking insane? I just got off the phone with some asshole who seemed surprised that women are allowed to learn to go to law school these days, much less take a job that doesn't involve screwing him for cash. You think that's the stereotype I want to hype?

Make the planet a bunch of oblivious cheerful hippie nudists and there's no matter of principle. Live in the real world, and it's rather a problem.

SDs greatest hits
 

In the top right corner of each post, there's a link that says "Post #____". If you right-click on it, and select "Properties", up will pop a little window with the url* for that post in it. Copy it. Then, to include a link to that post, insert [ u r l = (only without the spaces), and then the url, and then a ], then whatever text you want the link to be, and then a [/url]. Like this. (Quote this post to post a reply, and you'll see the code.)


* Note: May not be the right technical term.