All's Well That Ends Well (an ebay story)
 

What's strange about that?

Fast food rumbles
 

When I was a freshman or sophmore in high school one of the seniors got his ear bitten off at the Taco Cabana on Kirby and the Southwest Freeway after a football game after-after party. I don't know if any of the staff at the Taco Cabana were involved in the incident or not.

I was shocked. I figured that sort of thing happened all the time at the Taco Cabana on the corner or Westheimer and Montrose, but I thought that the Kirby location was a little less crazy.

BTW, the advantages of Taco Cabana over Taco Bell are as follows.
[list=1][*]24 hour drive-thru (beware on Friday and Saturday nights since everyone goes there after last call to get food to sober up with, bumper damage may ensue) AND sit down. [*] Margaritas (but not through the drive thru).[*] Fresh flour tortillas made on-site.[*] Less clueless staff. [*] Fresher ingredients.[*] At least four salsa varieties.[/list=1]
I'm surprised anyone goes to Taco Bell in this town

Fast food rumbles
 

I once spent two (2!) hours in the drive through at the Taco Cabana on Kirby. They had it arranged so you can't just give up and get out of line, and there were cars both in front and behind us. It was made even more pleasant by the drunk guy in the back seat.

Nonetheless, no one was apparently injured, but this was before Texas became a right to carry state, so if it were to happen today, the story might be different.

Even should I make it to Houston again and am in need of food in the middle of the night, I don't think I'll be back. Besides, House of Pies is just across the street.

Ummmm. Monte Cristo.

Fast food rumbles
 

Some friends of mine used to run a scam at that drive-thru. They'd order, and then one of them would hop out of the car before the driver pulled up to the window. The driver would pull up so it was a little further than usual from the window, and he'd tap the breaks to signal to the guy in the back to start running. The guy in the back would intercept the order right at the handoff, and keep on running to the Ninfas down the street. Guy in the truck would insist on getting his order, and the Taco Cabana person would shrug and re-do it. Pick up at Ninfas and everyone got to eat for the price of one.

I'm sometimes amazed at what students will do for free food.

I'd agree the House of Guys is definitely more interesting on around 3:00 in the morning on a random weekend than any other all night place in Houston.

Fast food rumbles
 

In HS, we would just go through the drive-through, explain that our order, when we arrived home, was completely fucked up. We would ask for our actual order, but we would mention that we mistakenly had thrown our receipt away. I can't believe how much free food we were given via this method...

Fast food rumbles
 

Back in high school, I worked at a pizza shop in Port Authority. This was the 80s. And anyone who's been to New York in the 80s can guess what Port Authority was like back then. Disgusting. Some of the stories:

1. I had to go to the stockroom to fill up on mini cheesecakes and other small items. The store room was on the second floor near the service elevator. In the back rooms of Port Authority, you would see anything from gay male hookers servicing their johns, female crack hos changing clothes, bums sleeping it off, addicts nodding, etc. On this particular day, three wannabe thugs followed me in and started to go through our stores to see what they could steal. I put up a little resistance, but I didn't really care if they took an armful of overpriced cheesecakes and sodas -- at least not enough to risk a beating. Fuck that.

So, I kind of just let them poke around. In come two of New York's finest. They ask me what is going on. I don't say anything. The cops get the picture. They grab the three guys, line them up against the wall, take out their clubs and start asking them what they thought they were doing. As soon as someone responded, they got smacked. Bitch slapped. Hard. The cops kept asking questions and if the guys didn't answer, they got slapped. When they did answer, they got slapped.

Finally, they asked them what they thought would happen if they ever saw them in the building again and if they should come back. The men said, "No," in the quietest voice I ever heard from a wannabe thug and the cops let them go. Then they turned to me, said something like, "They won't be bothering you anymore," took some cheesecakes and sodas and left.

Watching that was much scarier than if the other guys took a few sodas and cheesecakes and left.

2. I was still working there later in high school and the place had chinese food, deli and pizza. It drew all kinds of people. Commuters, bums, Port Authority workers, drug addicts, etc. There was always trouble. Always someone trying to steal something. The security guard was late that day and I was running the show.

This drunk/high woman came in and walked up to the chinese food stand. She said, "Can I have [a huge amount of food]?" They made it for her and as she was taking the tray when they told her what the total was, she screamed, "I DON'T HAVE ANY FUCKING MONEY! I ASKED YOU IF I COULD HAVE IT!" The two small asian women grabbed the tray back and she went nuts, calling them chinks and japs* and knocking things off the counter.

I sighed, walked over and asked her to leave. She turned and started screaming at me. So, I grabbed her by the arm and started to usher her out. Right before we got out, she turned and tried to hit me. This pissed me off (more than I expected) and I grabbed her by the coat near the neck and threw her out (Like she was Winthorp and I was the Bank security guard). She actually went airborn and landed on her chest and face. Of course, she had a bottle in her breast pocket, which shattered and cut her face. I was as shocked as anyone else.

Every single passerby looked at me like I had just shot her and advised her to sue. The cops came, took her aside, talked to her and then basically threw her out in the street in a similar, but more forceful, fashion.

3. There was a guy in the terminal named Val. A real scumbag. But he was kind of funny. Racist as hell. Would ask what your backround was in the nicest voice. Then he would ask you for money and if you declined, he would yell every single racist word at you he could think of. He was particularly fond of the phrase, "rat spic fuck." Didn't matter if you were white, black or asian, to him, you were a rat spic fuck. He would crack us up because he was so sugary sweet to tourists, asking for money and they were so shocked when he went crazy after they said, "No." He was always filthy, covered in dirt. But he would walk around telling the janitors that they "missed a spot" here and there.

Anyway, I knew him because he was always around. He always wanted coffee and was always short. I usually let him pay me the difference the next time around because it was easier than dealing with him. One time he came in and wanted a slice or something, but didn't have any money. I told him that I wasn't going to let him slide and he went nuts, of course and stormed off. He came back later with $20, asked for a slice, took one bite, through it on the floor and said, "Keep the change!" before storming off. Second biggest tip I ever got in that crap job.

TM

* No idea if she was related to Bill Parcells or not.

Fast food rumbles
 

and today you willingly accept your "free" cable. surprising.

Fast food rumbles
 

I pay now.

But I, and everyone else here, have/has done much worse than steal from a fast food place. Especially at age 16.

Fast food rumbles
 

Wow. That reminds me of the time I worked at Friendly's and mistakenly put butterscotch topping in a traditional Reese's Pieces Sundae. That was a hard day.

Fast food rumbles
 

that actually sounds pretty good. I'm lucky there is no Friendly's around here for a quick little lunchtime sundae run.

Fast food rumbles
 

you realize that some of the posters here are total squares, right? I don't want to name names or anything...

Fast food rumbles
 

You should be able to get the same thing at Braums, which appears to be in your area: http://www.braums.com/StoreLocator.asp?r=1&s=TX

Fast food rumbles
 

That is strength of character, not square.

Uh, well, it would be, for anyone you might be describing.

Fast food rumbles
 

Do you Dallas folk have Amy's Ice Cream? Their Mexican Vanilla Ice Cream is the best vanilla ice cream in the whole wide world.

Fast food rumbles
 

Braums sucks. Sorry to the Texans if this news hurts your feelings.