Defining "Good School"
 

Concur. Best reason for Catholic school is that they will discipline your child and they won't apologize for it. My parents were more liberal than my school, but secretly they liked that the school wasn't afraid to kick my ass to the curb. The possibility that I would shame myself and my parents and lose all my friends by getting expelled was a serious motivator. The school had no obligation to give me a place to spend the day.

If you can possibly afford it for middle school or high school, send your kid to a school that can kick bad kids out --- charter, private, whatever. It might be your kid who deserves the boot, but it makes for a better environment. Public school's biggest (and in some areas, only) drawback is that kids have rights, some of them constitutional. This puts some administrators on eggshells, which some kids and parents exploit.

However, I concur with Hank about economic diversity.

Defining "Good School"
 

Well that is a good argument for private/Catholic school. What grade do you all consider "middle" school? Around here it is 6, 7 and 8th grade. As for economic diversity, the Catholic school here would have kids from basically two towns (one mine) and neither are wealthy by any stretch. Mostly blue collar. And somewhat ethnically mixed.

Dude, you know I was on the fence on that one, and besides that was right after I accidently threw away all those client documents. Do you think my subjective opinion that you seemed bright would have went far back en?

By the way, remember that analogy between the destruction of Sodom and Gommorah and the need for sanctions that you worked into the draft motion to compel in the KMart lawsuit? You know: Rules are clear-they have been ignored- punishment must be sure....

Ole' man Harness finally did use it, first he took out the part where you equated hiding documents, to putting other stuff where God didn't want it put, but otherwise it was used intact.

strattera
 

Hi all. I was just put on strattera for ADD/ADHD. I'm wondering if any of your children have been placed on it and how it's going for them?

Defining "Good School"
 

And this, my friends, is the reason many public schools have the problems they do. They are forced to deal with disruptive trouble-makers. (Of which my son was one -- in preschool anyway -- so far, kindergarten has been a smashing success -- all 7 days of it!)

Not with grade skipping, but I started school a year early and was a full year younger than many in my class. I still did well, but was more immature than the other kids and since I was a painfully shy child, an extra year would not have hurt at all. The Lexling will be one of the oldest in his class and we are OK with that. Me for social and academic reasons and Mr. Lex for, um, football reasons.

Defining "Good School"
 

That's why my kids won't be going to public schools in Dallas (elementary is "recognized" and falling, middle and HS are "acceptable" by state ratings). They're also violent, and the local middle school had a kid stabbed to death in the door of the school last spring.

We live within 2-3 miles of most of the major private schools, and they're all damned expensive. We've already started the "mother's day out" affiliated with one of them, to give us a leg up on admissions. I literally don't know any other lawyer in Dallas ISD that has their kids in public school.

I'm a product of an economically/racially diverse public school system, in the DFW area, but it seems like that was a different time. I wouldn't feel safe at all putting my kids in the local public schools.

Dude, I didn't mean you. Mea culpa. You are totally well-adjusted, even though you went to Spence. Best friends again?

strattera
 

I assume that it has different effects on adults than on children, so I doubt that its effect on someone's children would correlate.

Defining "Good School"
 

Have you checked to make sure his underwear are supportive enough?

strattera
 

No drugs for my kid.

No.
My grade school wanted me to skip a grade (fourth, I think). My parents refused at the time, and have offered various reasons why over the years. The problem was, my best friend in school was given the same offer, and his parents accepted. I'm sure everything would have been fine if I had skipped fourth grade but had a close friend in fifth grade.

In retrospect, with how much private school cost, I think my parents would have skipped me just to save the cash.

I did very well in grade school, but my parents had no idea what I was being taught. My parents liked the religious nature of the K-8 schools where their children went, but they might have had second thoughts if they knew what nutjobs they really were. On the plus side, I'm inherently skeptical of organized religion and predisposed to fundamentalism of all kinds. I don't think that's what they were shooting for, but unintended consequences...

Yes and no. I started 1st grade a year early (more or less "tested out" of kindergarten), and because I had a late birthday I was about two years younger than my classmates.

My elementary (parochial) school also proposed to my parents that I skip two grades -- go from 3rd grade straight into 6th. My parents refused to permit it. I was not told about the offer for years, and have been grateful ever since that my parents refused.

There is a real tough balance between the intellectual and social issues. I did real well academically all through school, and am convinced both that I needed to start school early and that I needed the challenge to keep interested and motivated. I'm also convinced that I could have handled the work reasonably well if I had been put ahead farther, but the social dimensions might have been a nightmare.

As it was, I was two years younger -- and two years makes a huge difference socially essentially until the later part of college. I turned 16 during my senior year in high school, etc., etc.

I had a very hard time socially in 8th grade (age 12) and in HS. Fortunately, I grew enough between 9th and 10th grade that I was of a size with my peers, but it was not easy. If I had been even younger (i.e. if I had been skipped) -- I might have been young enough that I would have had an easier time in H.S. (they might have taken pity and watched out for the kid). Even so, I would not have wanted to start college at age 14 rather than 16 -- I would have been even more socially maladjusted than I obviously am.

I would NOT worry too much about being a year younger. The kid will live.

S_A_M

(eta "NOT")

Sofas
 

So I finally picked out a sofa and coordinating chair -- upholstered in a camel cover -- and my Sister warns that I should instead get a darker color or something in a pattern because of the Vietbabe. I think my Sister's right that the sofa will show even a small juice spill. What have you all done when choosing new furniture with youngsters? Anyone use the internet to buy a sofa or to get ideas?

Thanks.

Vietmom.

Sofas
 

I basically buy garbage. http://www.lawtalkers.com/forums/sho...553#post123553

Sofas
 

How funny the same thread is going on there. Er....sofa buying that is; clearly Thurgreed is childless with that big Scotch Guard-less white (not even cream!) sectional sofa.

Well, if anyone has any ideas on a sofa/matching or coordinating chair with ottoman, I'm all ears. I would love to order a custom couch from Taylor King which has a ton of different fabric/pattern choices but they take at least 10 weeks and I need a sofa like yesterday since my cat peed all over the current sofa (since got rid of him) and the Babe and I are sitting on these in the meantime and my butt is starting to hurt: http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0...1.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

My sister says a sofa with a darkish print that has an eclectic/Moroccan look would look good in the room, which is an eclectic mix of stuff from my travels, especially Southeast Asia and Africa. Normally I would go searching for some antique but no time. Two pet peeves: I hate when sofa arms "end" before reaching the full length of the frame, and I also don't like when the entire back of the sofa is a bunch of loosely collected pillows.

I realize this is not the designing lawyers but board, but hey you never know.

Kid friendly furniture
 

It depends on whether you let the kid and/or kid's friends and/or pets anywhere near the furniture.

There are loads of lovely (and sometimes expensive) upholstered pieces out there - I like to buy antiques at auction and re-upholster myself, but there are lots of other options. Check Ebay live auctions for furniture sales near you - it's usually cost effective to buy Victorian walnut or oak pieces - they are often beautifully made and the wood frames are orders of magnitude better than modern pieces.

However, as your sister wisely pointed out - children will stain the upholstery fabric, and no matter what anyone says, it is hard to clean unless it can be taken off and machine washed.

So if you want practical, you really need slipcovers. Places like Pottery Barn have acceptable, if not very exciting, slipcovered ottomans/chairs/etc.

You can also skip the whole upholstered route, and go with Smith and Hawken type teak furniture (they have indoor lines), with cushion covers that can be machine washed.

Failing machine washable, leather is the next best option, particularly dark leathers, which won't show juice and tomato sauce stains.

Sofas
 

Vomiting babies and toddlers are a strong argument for leather upholstery (a position usually advocated by a male in a pair). So far, I've won this argument with regard to one club chair and all cars. I gave in on the sofa, because even with the additional wipe-clean practicality, that's a lot of damn leather in one room, and I'm not a coke pimp or a cowboy. Barring leather, you don't want anything in a velvet texture. Microfiber is good, but can start to look sloppy after a few years of abuse.

Eventually, someone is going to regret the home design trend away from the "living room as museum/natural preserve" of prewar houses. Going from living room + family room to simply "great room" means you're entertaining fellow adults in phantom pools of yesterday's baby vomit. I'd rather have a house with a parlor that's used once every two months by adults only.

P.S. Kitchen chairs, if not just wood, should be upholstered in nothing but leather. Wet sponge = problem solved.

P.P.S. A couch lives or dies by the quality of the seat cushions, not the upholstery. Spending $1,200 on a couch you will set fire to when your oldest is 16 is an option, but for $3K to $5K you'll have 16 years of better sitting. I'm impressed with Baker furniture for deluxe quality. It's hard to justify $5K for a single piece of furniture, though.

I skipped a grade, but it was when my family moved from one area of the country to a very very different area of the country. I have no idea whether I would have been happier and/or more normal if I hadn't skipped. I remember a bunch of kids at the new school saying that I wouldn't be able to graduate from high school unless I went back and completed that grade. If an earlier grade is skipped, or if your kid goes to school with non-morons, this won't be an issue.

Don't move your kids halfway across the country when they are in grade school if you can help it. Really, really don't do it twice.

ETA the moving thing may be different if your kid will be in an environment where all the kids get moved around a lot (e.g., military bases). God. Now I'm depressed.

Defining "Good School"
 

Yeah, having kids dragged into an office and whacked repeatedly with a paddle with no apology to the parent, and no explanation to anyone, is really the best possible environment. Or, having your kid be punished and failed on a project for having the wrong texture posterboard, without any apology to the parent or the kid, is also a great environment. I don't think that "unafraid to impose discipline without apology" is really a fabulous way of evaluating a school, beddy-boy. There's a balance.

Sofas
 

I disagree on the velvet thing, at least insofar as synthetic velveteen-like fabric (I would agree that long-nap silk velvet is a thoroughly bad idea in a house with children of any age, and most adults). We have something like this on our living room sofa, a room that sees some kid use, but not as much as our family room (we live in a 1910 house and finished the attic to serve as family room). I've found that the velvety nap keeps the spitup from soaking into the fabric, and if you get to it quickly, it can be wiped off without leaving a spot.

The upstairs family room has a navy blue leather sofa that my husband brought into our marriage. I've never really liked it, but it doesn't show dirt or spills, that's for sure (granted, we don't eat up there).

I'm a big fan of slipcovers. Both my couch and loveseat in the living room have them. The loveseat was a piece I already had, and I had new slipcovers made by a very skilled seamstress, and it looks upholstered. It did run me $600-800, but the original piece of furniture was purchased from an old lady going into a nursing home for $50 and has down cushions (!), so well worth it. The big sofa was purchased from a local custom-furniture shop. I had them make it a foot longer than usual (so a large adult could actually sleep on it), got to pick my own fabric and it was still only $1100. I should have made them redo the slipcovers (I asked for fitted, and they're definitely not), but it was still a good deal.

So I'd recommend looking for a local custom-furniture place, not a big national chain (the one I bought my sofa from has two locations here in Stumptown). I'd also recommend custom slipcovers as a great option if you like the shape of something you already have, but are tired of the fabric. I found my person by asking the local high-end home fabric store for recommendations.

tm

Does school quality matter?
 

I think good schools can make a huge difference to any kid, and I am shocked to hear several opinions to the contrary from a group of highly-educated professionals. How can anyone who has seen the difference between a good and a bad school setting think that it makes no difference? In my view, moreover, good schools matter even *more* to the kids at the margins (super-smart/learning-disabled), because the best schools are the same ones that have resources to devote to those kids' special needs, and that have teachers who are skilled at differentiating instruction across whatever classroom spectrum they are presented with.

Even if you focus strictly on raw, objective educational outcomes (standardized test scores, college placement, etc.), there is a significant gap between strong and weak schools -- you may not be able to accurately weigh Andover vs. Exeter, but you can sure tell the difference between New Trier and the Chicago Public Schools. And the gap is even bigger if you take into account the "soft" aspects of quality of education -- is the learning process stimulating, inspiring, rich, deep, multi-layered, differentiated, etc. More talented, better trained teachers, smaller class sizes, better tracking of kids with appropriate peer groups, adequate concentrations of highly talented and special-needs kids, all contribute even more to those soft aspects than to hard outcomes.

I challenge anyone here to think back to his or her best, most stimulating, exciting, content-rich class ever, imagine substituting five classes like that for your five worst classes ever, and say that that would have no effect on your life today and the kind of person you are. How could you not want that for your kids?

I'm personally a public-school devotee, and agree with the folks who have said it's important to expose your kids to a spectrum of class, race, etc., that they aren't likely to see in a private school. But it's a far cry from that to saying that *whatever* they get exposed to in school is helpful.

Does school quality matter?
 

Oh bullshit. Hoity-toity private school makes your kid a wuss. I went to public school in a bad neighborhood and I turned out just fine, well only a little bit fucked up, well fucked up. Well, maybe your're right.

Show and tell
 

The eldest Gaplet has reached the "show and tell" stage now that he's in kindergarten. We're expending efforts trying to encourage him to take something mildly informative or interesting, like a lemon from the tree in the backyard, instead of the shiny new Lego toy he's assembled.

New note to self: Fruit from the trees in the backyard - OK. Items from the hydroponic basement -- not OK.

[spree: preschooler takes Mom's pot to show & tell. Hilarity and arrest ensues.]

I AM SOFA KING!!!!!!!!
 

.....We Todd Did. I almost bought an eggplant colored sofa - had the credit card in hand. Have decided to lay off the sofa hunting for a while and just ordered a cheap futon (delivery - Friday) to tide us over until permanent seating arrangements are decided. (Somewhere to sit other than cat pee furniture)

Thanks so much for all your responses:

Leather/Coke Dealer-Cowboy:

Very funny. It's interesting so many of the men favor leather and the ladies of the house protest. I tried out some leather ones by lying down on them and.....I felt like I would be lying on a dead animal every day (oh, no, please don't counter with a menu of what is in upholstery - I eat sausage too). Lying on the leather couch also felt like I was curled up with a guy in a leather jacket (NTTAWWT). It was all too weird. Chicks simply don't dig leather. [*Edited to say: chicks simply don't dig leather SOFAS that is]

Slip Covers:

That would seem to be the way to go. On the other hand, I'm so busy and procrastinate on household things I know I'd never take it off to get it dry cleaned, or I would but then it would be another month before I put it back on.....etc. I will try it though.

Atticus posted a link to furniture I think called "Baker's". I had decided to order custom made from Ethan Allen when I was on their website (changed my mind) and I guess I also had Baker's web site up too. I mistakenly thought Bakers was Ethan Allen and broke out in a sweat over the prices. Ouch!!

Overall, I find it hard to go the custom route because I can't see past the fabrics/colors to look at the structure of the sofa itself. I see colors I like and then want to buy the sofa even though you can use the colors on any design of sofa. I'm now too confused to proceed further and can't wait for the futon to arrive. They made me pick out a futon cover and handed me 50 swatches and I got panicky.

Thanks again for your help!

Defining "Good School"
 

Hit with a paddle? What are you, 60?

Defining "Good School"
 

No. Obviously, either I had a throwback teacher, or we grew up in different areas. Or both.

Defining "Good School"
 

Yeah, me too. I got the paddle twice. The first offense was making a paper airplane (I consider this legitimate, even though I'm not in favor of corporal punishment). The second offense was reopenning the supply cabinet in art class to get out a pair of sissors I had forgetten a moment before (albeit on a day where several kids were completely out of control). This offence got me rounded up into the troublemakers, and then we were all marched down en masse to the principal's* office for THREE wacks each. I believe this incident is the root of my lifelong suspicion of authority figures and the justice system.


* Every time I write this word, I am reminded of the mnemonic we were taught in school, I think in second or third grade: "It's a principle that the PRINCIPAL is your principal PAL." This taught me not only how to spell each homophone, but also the concept of irony.

Defining "Good School"
 

No, Atticus went to that school he always mentions on PB. You know where 11th grade history taught him the failings of the Marshall Plan and how the Dresdan bombing was unnecessary. Meanwhile you and I were coloring maps and getting hit.

I would bring in funny patents to my kids school for a talk every other year when they were in elementary school. One was a diaper for your parakeet, one was a lady on a roller for dance practice, syringe with a bunny head so its not scary....

One was a paddle with a break-away connector in it. If you hit someone too hard it'd break. So I show them and say "It'd be nice if your principal had one of these huh?

Blank stares all around. They don't hit anymore.

Defining "Good School"
 

Correlation, but not causation.

Did they laugh your descriptions of the other patents?

Defining "Good School"
 

Oh. I forgot. Your boss told you I'm not funny.
I know, ask him if it's okay for you to laugh outside of Fashion.

Defining "Good School"
 

Now now, Hank. Remember, I like your posts -- interventions are only performed by those who care.

Defining "Good School"
 

okay. sorry. The kids like the funny inventions very much. then I read them

http://syndetics.com/index.aspx?isbn...darip&type=hw7

http://catalog.darien.lib.ct.us/search/o?=94879569

it was all very well received- except the paddle- they just didn't get it- in either sense.

When Oh When!!!
 

....can I put out my over 100 Halloween decorations in and outside the house, including flying witches and annoying motion sensored ghouls. Today's Oct. 1 -- can't I do it now? Nary a decoration on even one house on the street.

http://www.thegreatestgift.com/Merch...ack_01_200.jpghttp://www.illuminations.com/images/...kn_lntrn_p.jpg http://www.lyonpuppets.com/zombie1.jpg http://www.yankeehalloween.com/plane...n/witch-lg.jpg http://www.leskincaid.com/Halloween/pumpkin%20patch.jpg

When Oh When!!!
 

I think once October is here the decorations can come out.

We carved a pumpkin last weekend. I know it's a bit early for it but the kids and I really enjoyed it. I imagine once this Jack-o-lantern rots we'll replace it. I'm sure I'll end up carving at least four or five pumpkins this year.

When Oh When!!!
 

Magnus had a field trip to a farm on Thursday, and we came home with several pumpkins which are now beautifully arranged at the top of the porch steps (thanks to architect fil, who is visiting). We haven't put the Indian corn or the gourds on the tables yet, but I'm waiting until the dahlias I also bought at the farm ($2 for a bunch of about a dozen 3-4" blooms) kick the bucket. That and I'm still in denial about summer being over. Today it was in the upper 70s and I wore tshirt, flipflops and capris.

tm

Upper 70s??? I would kill for that - it was 92 with sauna-like humidity here yesterday. We've been promised a cold front, but no sign of it yet. At soon as the temps drop below 80, I'm going pumpkin shopping. I love Halloween - I already have the Lexling's costume. He's going to be a little scarecrow (and go beg for chocolate for mommy).

Lockdown
 

Has anyone ever had a problem with those little Allen keys that are supposed to open a door locked from the inside? Vietbabe locked herself in the bathroom this morning and I was awfully proud that I had put the key in a special spot and remembered where they were. But I could not for the life of me get it to work.

So I removed the doorknob with a screwdriver which only made things worse because I still couldn't get all the metal "stuff" out of the hole (I longed for a miniature chain saw) and so the only good it did was it allowed me to see in enough to watch Vietbabe: (1) attempt to flush down the toilet the doorknob from her end of the door; and (2) climb in the bathtub and take a dump (yelling "Mommy!! I DID IT!!!")

I ended up calling 911. Any tips on how to prevent a recurrence?

Thanks.

Lockdown
 

Keep her on a short leash.

Lockdown
 

Crap that's funny. For a while the baltspawn liked to close the self-locking front door behind people and managed to lock out Mommy/Daddy/Babysitter several times. Now four different neighbors have spare keys.

Our house has circa 1975 era interior door knobs that have a slightly different mechanism. Instead of an allen wrench like key, the lock is set on the inside by pushing in the handle (which has the side effect of making it easier to set by accident, even for little kids), and it unlocks by inserting something in the outside hole (piece of coathanger works well) and pushing until the inside handle disengages. You might look for something like that, especially now that you've already got the knob off and could replace it easily.

But it sounds like part of your problem is that you may have paniced. Just remember it's going to be okay. She wasn't hurt, and sounds like she wasn't even particularly bothered. After the first time the baltspawn locked the babysitter out, they would immediately race to the back sliding glass door to bang on it and smile and wave when whomever was locked out went around to check. They thought it great fun.