What the Well-Dressed Tranny Cop...
 

is wearing:

http://www.boston.com/news/odd/artic...ishnet_tights/

Variation on a Theme -- Found in my inbox this morning
 

The latest scam e-mail (at least I think it's a scam... hey, wait a minute... maybe it's for real!!!) arrived in my inbox this morning. I should probably refer her to the guy whose brother has cancer and wants the Hardy Boys lunch box. They could make a formidable team!

[list]I am Mrs. Serena Jones,a Kuwaiti national I was married to Dr.Harry Jones who worked with Kuwait embassy in Ivory Coast for nine years before he died in theyear 2001.We were married for eleven years and the union unfortunately did not produce any offspring. Before his death we had given our lives to Christ and were living according to the Word.

A few weeks ago i was diagnosed with cancer and the doctor has informed me that i do not have much time to live. Presently I am practically an invalid as the cancer has ravaged my body and i can feel my life slowly ebbing away. I do not have much time to do the Lord's work but He will give me strength to see my last assignment through. My husband, Dr Harry before his death
deposited his life savings of approximately $6.5Million (SixMillion Five hundred thousand U.S. Dollars) with a financial institution in the European continent. Before his death, we were committed to the growth of the church and the propagation of the word, but I can no longer partake in these noble tasks. I need a church, Christian individual or individuals who can continue the work in
our stead. who will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct here into-fund churches, orphanages and widows propagating the word of God and to ensure that the house of God is maintained. To care for the sick, the poor, the downtrodden wherever they may be The Bible made us to understand that blessed is the hand that gives. I took this decision because I don't have any child or next of kin who can inherit these wealth. Though the internet is a seemingly unlikely place to find such individuals, I believe that the Lord hides jewels in the most unlikely places. It is not the means that is important but the message. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace. With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of financial institution in Europe. I will also issue you a letter of authority that will prove you as the original- beneficiary of this fund. I want you and the church to always pray for me because the lord is my shepherd. the Happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein. Hoping to hearing from you. Remain blessed
in the name of the Lord.

N.B-PLEASE I WILL ADVICE YOU TO GIVE THE LAWYER IN CHARGE A CALL IN HOLLAND IMMEDIATELY,HE DOES EVERYTHING ON MY BEHALF AND HE'S VERY UNDERSTANDING AND I BELIEVE HE WILL LEAD YOU TO YOUR SUCCESS IN JESUS

NAME:Barry Gerry Sly
Tell:0031-630-325-549
Remain blessed in the name of the Lord.
Yours in Christ,
Mrs. Serena Jones.
serenajones7@netscape.net


I should give Barry Gerry Sly a ring -- this is probably legit, after all. I am through (through! I tell you) with my cynical ways.

Variation on a Theme -- Found in my inbox this morning
 

It is good to know you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior who died on the cross for your sins. I was worried you were headed for H-e-double-toothpicks.

It was Mel and the Passion of the Christ that showed you the error of your ways, right?

Variation on a Theme -- Found in my inbox this morning
 

If I give my life to the Lord, do I get the divine go-ahead to scam guilt-ridden sinners out of thousands of dollars of their money, too?

'Cause if so, Praise Jesus!

Back on Track
 

Let's get the God/Kitten/Sinner discussion back on track with this oldie, but goodie:

http://www.terminalbraindrain.com/ar...masturbate.jpg

Variation on a Theme -- Found in my inbox this morning
 

THis discussion is not complete without reference to Ebola Monkey Man. Enjoy.

Back on Track
 

I was lucky enough not to have been raised Catholic, so I dont know, but did they really hand out this type of propoganda? And did people really think God gave a shit if you masturbted, much less would wack a kitty in relatilation? not very benevolent.

Ass too big?
 

So, I stopped by one of my friend's parents' house last night to pick up a piece of horse equipment. The mother happens to be English, with a charming accent. As I walked by her, she swacked me on the rump with some papers in her hand and said "Bunny, putting on some weight?" I haven't been able to eat since, even though I haven't put on weight.

For some reason, people with cute accents seem to be able to pull off being obnoxious far better than those with, let's say Queens or Boston accents.

What is the appropriate way to respond to a 60-year-old friend of the family who smacks you on the butt and tells you that you're looking like a fatty?

Ass too big?
 

Punch her in the face.

Back on Track
 

Paigow, check out the weird painted paper-bag things chasing the kitten. No, this is not Catholic (or any other kind of Christian) propaganda. It's a joke.

Have you had your soy chai latte today?

Ass too big?
 

"Breasts finally hitting the ground, are they?"

Ass too big?
 

Tell her she's looking fat herself. British people (I'm just talking about my family, but I think this is fairly true generally) insult each other more than we do here. And it is meant affectionately. I'm constantly teased about my small head and lack of tits. It's just banter, meant to be friendly. Start eating.

Back on Track
 

Can't speak to the Catholics, but the Baptists liked to intersperse this message when the effectiveness of the hellfire/brimstone/damnation posters seemed to wear thin.

Ass too big?
 

Clearly the appropriate response is to feel so bad about the nonexistent weight gain that you stop eating. Maybe when she visits you in the hospital as you are dying of anorexia, with your hair fallen out and your skeletal body covered in lesions, she will feel bad for teasing you.

Ass too big?
 

I was thinking that you'd offer up the vomitorium.