Lockdown
 

Actually, it SOUNDS like great fun. It's cute...the first time. Thanks for the advice on the different locks. I'm thinking that the reason the Allen (Allan?) key didn't work was because the key went to an entirely different doorknob (the bathroom upstairs). I had a key for the upstairs bathroom doorknob because I had just replaced it with a new one when I moved in. But I didn't replace the nob on the downstairs bathroom (the scene of the crime) because I stopped buying "prettier" doorknobs when I saw how much money they cost. I assumed the Allen key would work the same.

Oh well. What sucks is I just KNOW it will be another 6 months before I get around to buying a new doorknob and another 6 months to actually put it on.

Vietmom

Buying Drugs Online
 

So sorry for being a serial poster.

I'm looking to get some drugs for my cat who is now living with the gal who adopted him (and peeing all over her place). The drugs are supposed to help that. I can't go to a vet b/c they say I'd have to bring the cat into the appointment to get the prescription and the cat doesn't live with me. And I can't tell the gal to bring him for a number of reasons. Is there any way I can just get these drugs and give them to her to try out with the cat. They are called Buspar and Amitriptoline (sp?). I see all the spam about getting meds online....do I have to pretend I'm sick and get some online doctor to prescribe or something? Any ideas?

Buying Drugs Online
 

Buspar & Amytriptylline are fairly commonly prescribed for UTIs and/or psycho-induced peeing problems amongst the feline population. I know cats who have taken those medicines. One went through many meds over some years before the vet hit on one that worked -- which showed the problem was, at its core, not what had been suspected.

Problems:

(a) No reputable vet will prescribe drugs without an examination (as you've found)

(b) Even assuming that the veterinary version of the drugs are identical to the ones used in humans, the dosages for a 150 pound person and a 10 pound cat will differ significantly. The course/length of administration may also differ. How much will you give the cat and for how long?

(c) When you buy from some online pharmacy, without consulting anyone you know to be a doctor or pharmacist, it seems to me that you increase the chances that the drugs bought might be counterfeit, say weakened versions of the same pills or merely compressed talc, sawdust, sugar, etc. How will you know, and what recourse would you have?

I would not suggest trying to fake out some Internet doc to get human pills from some warehouse in Simi Valley, and then trying to figure out what dosages to administer by looking on the Net. There is a reason that veterinary school is at least as hard as, and harder to get into than, medical school.

If the chick who has the cat doesn't want him to pee all over her house, she needs to take him to the vet. Nice of you to want to pay for it, to minimize her suffering and that of your cat. That's the way it goes.

S_A_M

Lockdown
 

Why not just reinstall the old one in the interim-- asuming that the knob was not flushed? (Or, is that the plan?)

It isn't that tough to do.

S_A_M

Cat Pee
 

I doubt the pills will work by themselves - the cat has a learned behavior and needs to unlearn it, though maybe the pills will help while he learns the new behavior. Did we have this discussion before? It sounds familiar. 1-800-Pet-Meds will call the vet to verify the Rx, so that sort of site is out too. I would just have her send you the bill after she goes to the vet. Plus it is possible he does have a UTI or other problem of that nature.

I own a psycho-pooping cat. I have done lots of research on the matter and have plenty of ideas, if you are interested, but none of them worked consistently for my cat. He is banished to the outside. (I am against putting cats outside for the most part, but in this case, it was the cat or the hubby and my sanity).

The vet told me that the occasional cat cannot be box-trained and from what we have gone through, I am inclined to believe it. I have had 5 others that are/were prefectly well box-trained.

-TL

Cat Pee
 

We just may have. This has been happening since the very beginning of 2003. It started when kitty noticed the smell of baby pee on the twin bed in baby's room (where I changed her) but he didn't "spray" or mark this "territory" . Rather, he FULLY EMPTIED HIS BLADDER on the bed fully several times and it was awful. I simply kept the door to the nursery shut. Problem solved.

But then he smelled the pee pee on the upholstered furniture downstairs (I guess from when the baby climbed on the furniture) and started peeing on those pieces. And so began a long stinky journey which included (1) endless Internet purchases of Odormute; (2) living in a house that smelled worse than a phone booth in the bad part of town; (3) curling up with my kid to watch cartoons on the couch and then realizing she was sitting in a pool of cat piss; and (4) crazy episodes of me, outside in my pajamas in the winter at 2 am, with the baby monitor strapped to me, trying to slowly drag various pieces of now-urine-drenched antiques (from my long gone Grandmother) out onto the street in the cover of darkness, hoping someone would take them or the town remove them, but needing to get them out so when Vietbabe woke up she didn't come down and climb on them and I had no more clean towels to throw over the hideous things.

When we finally had NO SEATING AT ALL in the home, I got rid of the cat and that was just recently. So, yes, we've probably talked about this. Now that he is still doing it at the new owner's home, and he doesn't have a UTI (checked with vet 3 times) and is on special food already for urinary tract, and all behavior stuff has failed, he is either going to have to be "made an outdoor cat" or put to sleep. But he's declawed and spayed and scared of the outdoors. If the meds don't work I'm going to have to put him to sleep. If I take him to a cat shelter, the whole cycle will begin at a new home and another move would really agonize him. Does it seem cruel to put a cat down under these circumstances?

Cat Pee
 

My cat always seemed interested in the outdoors and the weather is mild here. I don't know. I would be inclined to try that first, assuming you have a garage or shed to put a bed and food into and aren't on a major road. Poor kitty. Is he older? Maybe he won't go far if he is - mine lays on the driveway most of the time and hunts mice at night.

Does school quality matter?
 

I've joined the discussion late, but I'm with CT. Your kindergartener who can read and do math will, in fact, do just fine academically in any school. The real question in my mind is where that kind of child will learn the attitude about learning that will help them succeed whenever they get to the level that is actually a challenge for them- whether that be middle school, high school, or graduate school. If the child is in an elementary school where (i) the teachers are equipped to deal with challenging kids at different levels; and (ii) the families involved in that school value education and reward intellectual achievement, they are most likely to develop the tools that they need.

The turtles were both reading at 4, and the youngest (in kindergarten) is already doing simple multiplication in his head. None of this has anything to do with the school, but my comfort level that they will be given the opportunity to push themselves, and will not develop the attitude that they don't ever need to try, has everything to do with the school.

That doesn't mean it has to be private school. Mine are in a very good public school system, and unless they start losing interest, I have no intention of sending them to private school, at least until high school. I already know they are smart- what they also need is to learn how to get along in the world, which doesn't only contain private school kids.

Practical advice: I wouldn't be wedded to test results, though I would not send my children to a school that continually came up short. Also don't be blinded by class size. An experienced (and good) teacher can do more with 25-30 kids than a lousy teacher can do with 10. Look to how the parents interact with the teachers and the school, and look for elementary classrooms that are structured in such a way to allow different learning at different paces. You can tell a great deal by walking into a classroom and looking around, even if there are no students present. In my opinion, all elementary school classes should avoid the lined-up desk routine, and should have a part of every day in which students do roughly the same thing (i.e., reading or writing), but independently, so that a child who doesn't need to practice phonics could be looking things up in an encyclopedia (you can see daily schedules usually on a board for the kids to read). Last but not least, look critically at the in-class library- is there one, are there books of different levels, are there reference books, and are there areas that are clearly designed for sitting and reading.

Just my two cents- apologies for the long silence, and equally long post.

Yertle

Flu shots for infants (yea or Nea)
 

Newbie dad here.

What are your thoughts on flu shots? I never had them as a kid (old school), but it appears to be fairly mainstream practice for infants.

Flandababe is 9 months old now; a brief search on the net seems to be filled with several pros and cons, etc.

The Ped has the vaccine available; take him in for one, thoughts?

Flu shots for infants (yea or Nea)
 

If the Flandababe is in daycare, I'd definitely get the vaccine. If not, it's a bit harder to weigh the pros and cons. My Ped has always been pro shots, so we've leaned toward yes, but I know the question is not a slam dunk. I think the cons tend to be overemphasized, but that's hard to argue to someone whose baby is one of the unlucky few to have a bad reaction.

Flu shots for infants (yea or Nea)
 

Context - a pack of kids, youngest now 8.

We never got a flu shot for any of them. Never had any problems that arose because of that lack. They were all, at various times, in daycare, and so had lots of exposure to illness. Amongst my friends, people had a few problems stemming from the shots themselves, but never from flu.

(To clarify - everybody gets the flu. If you're of normal health and strength, it just comes and goes. No problem. If you're elderly, or frail for some reason, I might consider the shot.)

Oh, and, congratulations!

(Still looking for a "stitches and broken bones" shot.)

The Lexling is 10mos old. (Hey - if you were here, we could have a playdate!) He is not in daycare and other than runs to the store, he doesn't really get out...and even then, if he is in his stroller, he doesn't come into contact with too many bugs. I would still consider getting him a flu shot, but as it is, our ped is reserving them for the older and sicker. If he were in daycare, I would take him in asap - the flu (not a cold, the real flu) will have you and/or spouse-Flanders home for at least a week with a miserable inconsolable baby and then you will both get it too and be home for at least another week and be miserable and inconsolable.

BTW, anyone considering getting pregnant might want to get one too - you can't get them in your 1st tri and high, prolonged, fever in the 1st tri is strongly correlated with schizophrenia in the baby (well, later). I read an article on this recently and is scared the bejeezus out of me. Here's a LINK to a similar story.

-TL

I suppose I should note that this is one of the reasons our Ped has been such an advocate of shots and we have been receptive: a sick baltspawn means two sick baltspawn. One sick infant is bad; two is grueling. We do everything in our power to keep the kids from getting sick (not that other parents don't, but it's something we tend to be really aware of - we're backing off a bit now that the baltspawn are a little easier to handle). You haven't really lived until you've had two 14 month olds simultaneously vomit on you.

Blech. The 9mo old twins down the street are sick. I saw the mom and dad yesterday; they looked positively haggard. Then again, having 9mo old twins, they don't normally look too refreshed.

Flu shots for infants (yea or Nea)
 

Thanks!
Flandababe is no longer in daycare. The Ped wants to administer the flu shot at the upcoming 9 month vaccine appt? My concern, in the rare event there was a reaction, how could we ever tell what the reaction was to? Also, not exactly jumping on the bandwagon to introduce a smorgus borgus of chemicals into the poor little guy.

Flu shots for infants (yea or Nea)
 

I would love for us to get flu shots this year. I may qualify, since I'm currently doing everything in the power of modern medicine to get pregnant, but Magnus, 4 and healthy, does not. We did get the flu last year, and lost half of December (I had fever for 4 days, Magnus for 7; he ended up with a double ear infection and was lucky to avoid pneumonia), meaning no Christmas tree, several missed parties, no homemade candies to deliver to friends and neighbors, two weeks missed school, etc. etc. If it becomes available for him at some point this season, hell yes I am getting it.

tm

Flu shots for infants (yea or Nea)
 

We're already on that bandwagon and I've been trying to figure out where to get a shot. We didn't do Xmas last year due to the new Lexling, but that was much more fun than what you just described. Eww.

Flu shots for infants (yea or Nea)
 

Heh. I caused such a stink last year trying to find a place to get a flu shot for the Vietbabe (and her then Nanny and me too) my town ended up rounding up extra flu shots and giving them to those who requested (demanded) it. Although I didn't get the flu last year, I got Pneumonia almost exactly a year ago and it knocked me on my butt so bad I ended up hospitalized and then recovering at my parents, with my Nanny driving to their house everyday. What a nightmare.

If I can swing it, I'm going to get them again this year though I heard it is impossible because of....well, whatever it was that happened: 50% of some company's batch being bad or something. It would be so disastrous to be the sole wage earner and unable to work for 2 weeks, and also the sole parent if the Babe and I both get it. So is it even harder to get them this year?

TOTALLY unrelated topic but a very brave (crazy?) young man just approached me this evening at the pizza parlor when I was with Vietbabe, introduced himself, said he didn't see a ring on my finger, confirmed I was single and then asked me for dinner.*** He just called to firm up a day (and tell me more about himself). Yikes. I was wondering how I should handle the logistics. I am usually very traditional and the men would pick me up at my house. The problem is, whenever the date is, both my parents will be babysitting for me so he'd be coming over, meeting my mother and father (!!) and kid (well, he met her already) and that would seem a bit much for a first date. Thoughts?

***ETA: Oops. That would be "asked me TO dinner", as opposed to "asked me FOR dinner" ("Hi, I'm Chris; are you single? Good, bring me dinner, bitch!")

Flu shots for infants (yea or Nea)
 

I'm sending you some diagrams . . . .

Flu shots for infants (yea or Nea)
 

Meet him there. Not to be cynical, and I'm all in favor of sex for the sake of sex, but you know that guys tend to think single moms are easy b/c they are hard up for sex, right?

Not that single moms have a monopoly on being easy and hard up for sex, but it's like one of those probability things, apparently. Big plus if you seem to have enough money to support yourself.

On the other hand, sex is fun. Fun fun fun. It's great. Best invention ever. So go fuck this guy's brains out, if that's what you want to do. But it's good to have your own transportation.

Flu shots for infants (yea or Nea)
 

I guess this explains why you're always offering to babysit. You little minx.

Flu shots for infants (yea or Nea)
 

It's a first date, she says she's traditional, and you have her and they guy making the beast with two heads before they've said more than a couple sentences. And I'm not sure going to a complete stranger's place on a first date is the safest thing in the world.

At the same time, I think meeting him somewhere makes sense. Meeting Mom and Dad on date one just doesn't have a lot to recommend it.

Flu shots for infants (yea or Nea)
 

You are totally not disagreeing with me. I said she should meet him someplace. If she wants to have sex on the first date, and her parents and kid are at her house, she either has to go to his house or they have to go to a neutral place, like a hotel. Otherwise, she will run into the disapproved by you meeting mom and dad on date one thing.

And there should be three heads involved in fucking.

I'm not saying that she WILL have sex, just that it's fun. On a separate note, I said that guys sometimes think single moms are easy pickings -- that was just a caution, since it does not sound like she has dated much since she got the kid and it may not be something she has been exposed to.

Sheesh.

Flu shots for infants (yea or Nea)
 

I just think it's unbecoming to go on at great fucking length about sex when I'm sure she has enough on her mind. Sex, sex, sex. Is there anything else you think about? MAYBE, just maybe, it's not all about fucking sex.

Didn't they just make you rewrite all your defered comp arrangements or something.

(Oh, but if he does come by, have him fix the doorknob.)

Flu shots for infants (yea or Nea)
 

Why do you keep using "fucking" as an adjective when you are ostensibly discouraging talk about sex? Perhaps you aren't getting any?

I bumped the nqdc rewrites to someone else.

What's so funny about Peace, Love and Understanding?
 

Forget it.

What's so funny about Peace, Love and Understanding?
 

JHC. The answer to her question was to meet him at the place.

Then, as a sort of side note or bonus, I was saying, hey, in case you have been out of the dating pool for awhile, be aware that guys sometimes target single moms as more sexually frustrated (and therefore available/easy) than other women. And as having less time to sort through guys or whatever. Not that that is necessarily going on here, but it's a safety/annoyance issue.

I was also saying that she may be aware of the sex thing and fine with it, and expressing my view that sex for the sake of sex is fun and if that's what she wants, go for it.

Then you were all stupid about how she shouldn't go to his place to have sex, as if there's really any other choice on a first date when M&D are taking care of the baby.

WTF, do you think it's FRIDAY? I was being nice.

What's so funny about Peace, Love and Understanding?
 

You were being perfectly nice. I was simply making the point it isn't all about sex in a post that included the same overblown sexual language you were using (Sex is fun, fun, fun!). It was a rhetorical device.

Vietmom, I hope this has been helpful. Fringey and I will be here swearing about sex most evenings this week. Friday we mud wrestle. Please, come by anytime.

What's so funny about Peace, Love and Understanding?
 

Are you condemning Vietmom if all she wants is some hot sweaty exhausting mind-blowing earth-shaking sex? Prude.

What's so funny about Peace, Love and Understanding?
 

She described herself as fairly traditional.

The only "tradition" I am aware of that embraces exhausting mind-blowing earth-shaking sex is in the Kama Sutra, and that may be described as hot but certainly not as sweaty.

And if Vietmom comes from a tradition of hot sweaty exhausting mind-blowing earth-shaking sex, I take back my recommendation that she not introduce him to her parents.

Flu shots for infants (yea or Nea)
 

Oh dear Lord I laughed hard at this one. Especially since my date called this evening when I was trying to put the new doorknob on (I discovered the "stuff" that goes inside the hole on the side of the door is too big for the hole and the door is so thin that enlarging the hole is not possible).

Speaking of enlarging the hole (!), very interesting discussion about wild sex. I had no idea that men thought of single moms as "easy". At $20 an hour for a babysitter, the thought of wasting those costly hours at a hotel when I could be eating Thai food (and when my parents are home waiting for me) is unthinkable. As for Kama Sutra, I think that is a South Asian thing, rather than a Southeast Asian thing (NTTAWWT).

Flu shots for infants (yea or Nea)
 

$20 / hour !!!???!!!

You need to find yourself a good neighbor kid, and quick. I've got two kids, and never pay more than $12 (well, I always round up). The neighbor kid I pay $10, and got dressed down by her mother last weekend for paying her too much.

Flu shots for infants (yea or Nea)
 

If he'll just fix the darn door, it will be much easier to have some privacy and avoid the hotel. If you're into that.

Flu shots for infants (yea or Nea)
 

Well, the "single" thing is coming into better focus, at least.

;)

FB/LWK cross-post!
 

Well, since we've crossed the threshhold into wild sex involving easy single moms, I guess it's just as well that I cross-post my story from the FB here. The LWK connection exists, tangential though it may be.

I AM SOFA KING!!!!!!!!
 

Late to this thread, but I was the leather sofa advocate in our recent move (to a new apartment with an extra bedroom for baby). It's pretty traditional, not moderne so as to avoid the coke dealer thing, which was Trepidation Dad's concern. It does wipe off like a dream - milk, barf, peas, the mini reese's peanut butter cup leftover from the "dinner" we scraped together upon realizing that neither of us had the energy to go either to the store or the ATM and which I sat on and melted into a smudge of mush at 4 am while feeding the bairn in the dark.

I also recommend highly-patterned Persian rugs if you don't want entirely bare wood floors. If you get nice ones, the wool is fairly high quality and therefore cleans up well, and the pattern hides your sins if it doesn't.

Oh, and I will not tell you guys if I get into a threesome. Sorry.

I AM SOFA KING!!!!!!!!
 

No guts.

I, on the other hand, promise to disclose each and every threesome in which I participate, in full detail.

Don't wait up.

I AM SOFA KING!!!!!!!!
 

Pity. Sounds like the sofa is perfect for it.

I AM SOFA KING!!!!!!!!
 

Watch the rug burns.

Presents
 

In my quest to make my nieces the hippest children in Africa, I would like to get them some good Christmas gifts. They are 4 and 5 years old. They go to London quite a bit, so they do have access to western-type toys, dolls and clothes, but they rely on me generally to cover the US market. I do not know what is hip for 4 and 5 year olds this year, but I have an inkling that Bratz dolls might be a good idea. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Any ideas are much appreciated. Lectures on the evils of turning my nieces into conspicuous consumers have already been covered by my mother.

thanks