Birthdays
 

Who made up that stupid rule about no-presents-or-parties-for-adults? It's fun to give them if it's for someone you like rather'n an obligation; it's always fun to get them; and it gives everyone an excuse to eat cake and ice cream and drink mimosas. How can anyone possibly object?

Birthdays
 

And maybe get a new purse?? Or show one off?

Birthdays
 

WTF do mimosas have to do with birthdays?

Birthdays
 

I like them with brunch, which is always a lovely time to have a birthday party.

Drink Bud if you want; I just think it's gross with Belgian waffles. :)

Birthdays
 

If we can go back to overrated foods for a minute, I would put mimosas in that category. It's a 1+1=1 problem. Champagne? Good. OJ? Good. Together? Not so much. Of course, the problem is compounded by the fact that most places use crappy "Champagne" (that really shouldn't be called even sparkling wine) and crappy OJ. Me? I'd rather get a nice glass of fresh-squeezed OJ and then either a glass of decent Champagne or a bloody Mary.

Shocking News!
 

A great improvement over some of the other stuff I've writ. . . . . . I mean seen.

See, e.g., "Fertile Imagination" at http://www.infirmation.com/bboard/cl...?msg_id=000RmB
[spree: A "Lesslink"]

Birthdays
 

There's this Tiki bar on the Jersey Shore that sells a 20oz freshly squeezed OJ with your choice of 4oz of Bacardi or 4oz of Absolut - I think it's 8 bucks. Absolutely delicious and goes down like water.

Sitting in the sun, after drinking about three of these awesome things, it's very easy to ...well...forget you're at the JERSEY shore.

not7y(happy hour yet?)S

NEW POLL
 

That is an excellent list. I decided to make it a poll.

ADD to the following list. You can confine your additions to things you have learned about this board and its posters or general things (like in the list).

25 things I have learned in 50 years (by Dave Barry)
---------------------------------------------------------------------
1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.

2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time.

3. People who feel the need to tell you that they have an excellent sense of humor are telling you that they have no sense of humor.

4. The most valuable function performed by the federal government is entertainment.

5. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely
suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

6. A penny saved is worthless.

7. They can hold all the peace talks they want, but there will never be peace in the Middle East. Billions of years from now, when Earth is hurtling toward the Sun and there is nothing left alive on the planet except a few microorganisms, the microorganisms living in the Middle East will be bitter enemies.

8. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

9. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.

10. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.

11. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

12. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

13. There apparently exists, somewhere in Los Angeles, a computer that generates concepts for television sitcoms. When TV executives need a new concept, they turn on this computer; after sorting through millions of possible plot premises, it spits out, "THREE QUIRKY BUT ATTRACTIVE YOUNG PEOPLE LIVING IN AN APARTMENT," and the executives turn this concept into a show. The next time they need an idea, the computer spits out, "SIX QUIRKY BUT ATTRACTIVE YOUNG PEOPLE LIVING IN AN APARTMENT." Then the next time, it spits out, "FOUR QUIRKY BUT ATTRACTIVE YOUNG PEOPLE LIVING IN AN APARTMENT." And so on. We need to locate this computer and destroy it with hammers.

14. Nobody is normal.

15. At least once per year, some group of scientists will become very excited and announce that:

* The universe is even bigger than they thought!
* There are even more subatomic particles than they thought!
* Whatever they announced last year about global warming is wrong.

16. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

18. The value of advertising is that it tells you the exact opposite of what the advertiser actually thinks. For example:
* If the advertisement says "This is not your father's Oldsmobile," the advertiser is desperately concerned that this Oldsmobile, like all other Oldsmobiles, appeals primarily to old farts like your father.
* If Coke and Pepsi spend billions of dollars to convince you that there are significant differences between these two products, both companies realize that Pepsi and Coke are virtually identical.
* If the advertisement strongly suggests that Nike shoes enable athletes to perform amazing feats, Nike wants you to disregard the fact that shoe brand is unrelated to athletic ability.
* If Budweiser runs an elaborate advertising campaign stressing the critical importance of a beer's "born-on" date, Budweiser knows this factor has virtually nothing to do with how good a beer tastes.

19. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will not use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.

20. You should not confuse your career with your life.

21. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

22. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

23. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

24. Your friends love you anyway.

25. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

-- Dave Barry

Thurgreed's addendum (Greedy boards specific):

1. People are greedy.

2. Fluff/sex, politics and money are the only topics people really want to discuss.

3. Being able to curse freely is more important than one would think.

4. People want to be heard.

5. K racing is stupid.

6. Paigow is nuts.

7. People don't work as hard as it seems they do when they're bitching about their jobs.

8. Some GPs are NOT so bad.

9. People know more about you than you think.

10. There are very few people in any danger of losing their job if they get outed.


Thurgreed's addendum (general):

1. The ratio of funny male comics to funny female comics is like 10:1.

2. Rich people are generally the cheapest people around.

3. It is almost impossible to be in a bad mood if you have an ice cream cone.

4. Although most people are generally stupid, the collective intelligence of a room with a significant amount of people when it comes to trivia is almost always impressive.

5. Lawyers are no more slimy than politicians, brokers (Wall Street and Real Estate), journalists and executives of large public companies.

6. If you have no idea, say, "I'll look into that" or "I'll get back to you" or "Interesting."

7. If you have no idea, do not say, "Uhhhhhhh."

8. Debt is bad.

9. There is almost no reality in "reality tv."

10. If someone has done something other people enjoy, they want credit no matter what they say or how humble they act.

11. Paigow is nuts.

TM

Monkey writing
 

My writing style has been likened to the monkeys.

See Bilmore's keen [FN1] observation and suggestion

FN1: "Keen" here is used in the non-Normal Mailer vernacular.

Birthdays
 

In Reims/Champagne region of France, a large group of 20-somethings threw in some OJ after champagne had been served to us...to the horror of our servers. They were appalled. It was awesome.

Give us a break - it was 10:30 AM and we were ALL hungover...

Birthdays
 

In the fruity alcoholic breakfast drink category, I'd much prefer a belini to a mimosa. La Strada used to have bottomless pitchers of belinis on Sunday, before it burned down.

That place was INSANE for Sunday brunch. People doing coke on the bar, both women and men stripping, jello shots and belinis consumed in mass quantities, all sorts of sex in the bathroom. All before noon on Sunday. The last time I was there was for the last Westheimer Street festival, and some stripper was celebrating her new boob job and showing everyone. The cop manning the door pretty much decided that as long as no one inside was complaining, she wasn't going to do anything about it. I remember being very hung over the next day, looking at the receipt with my drunken scrawl on the bottom, and being shocked. Apparently I bought shots for about 60 people. The same guy who burned down Zimms, Sierra and that greek restaruant hit La Strada a few years back, and there hasn't really been a good replacement, though I hear that the new Berryhill Tamale next to the Chinese consulate is becoming rather insane.

opinions sought please
 

Ok - I am going to a wedding and making a dress for it b/c I got this great red silk fabric and it will look lovely. I was thinking of making a dress like this:

http://bluefly.speedera.net/zs.bluef.../prodImage.ms?

but was told recently (by a woman in the fashion industry) that my collarbones are too bony for dresses like that. I disagree but what do I know. So, although it is not really me, I am now thinking of making this kind of dress:

http://bluefly.speedera.net/zs.bluef.../prodImage.ms?

So I need an opinion. Is the second one more wedding appropriate? Is the first one really inappropriate for someone with allegedly bony collar bones? (I would have a wrap or something so not totally exposed all the time). I'm kind of torn. the second one just doesn't feel like me.

And this is my first attempt at posting a picture, so I apologize if I fuck up.

Fixing pictures, er, maybe not. In general URLs of images should have the extensions .gif, .jpg, or .bmp at the end. I tried to go back to the source URL to find the picture, but I got a 404 error.--RT

I'm just inept
 

Ok - I clearly don't have a clue when it comes to posting pictures. yikes that was bad.

Oh Cabin Boy, the Captain seeks comfort
 

Less,

I met you a year or so ago, and you sat across the table over the course of a few hours (first in a bar and then in a restaurant). We chatted, drank, and ate. We chatted and drank some more. You did not exhibit the time-honed (and time-honored) spittle-wielding trait that Paigow continually describes.

Of course, you did not offer to buy me a Tang, I am a male, and I am not a mongoloid, so perhaps I did not trigger this Skinnerian or Pavlovian trait.

That being said, Less, whenever I see your moniker, I visualize this wild-eyed, crazed, spittle-frothing person that, in turn, leads me to think you should consider finding an avatar from SNL's Queen Mary, replete with a drool bucket and a cabin boy. Paigow -- while wrong -- certainly has painted (smeared?) a great caricature.

Happy Friday.

Monkey writing
 

Ah, the classic Hideki "money v. a life" argument.

Three (!?!) years ago.

Memories . . .