There is no solution.
 

Well, then clearly the answer is to ban oreo cookies and all other cookies, cakes, rolls, donuts, candy bars, sugary cereals, sugar itself, fatty foods, and bubble gum.

There is no solution.
 

Can you imagine a world where there are no fat people? No eating disorders? No wrappres from vending machines and McDonald's littering the street? It would almost be like NYC bars without smoke.

Oreos
 

I did--raise my taxes and increase public money for healthy parenting and other initiatives. It's at least as worthwhile as raising 'em to pay for a roadway or a nuke. Institute a living wage while we're at it so that parents can afford to feed their kids decent food. If the FDA wants to ban the use of food additives with no positive value or the Dept of Ed wants to ban junk food dispensers from cafeterias, I won't object, but I assume the food industry sure will. However, just as I don't think a parent gets a free pass to beat a kid for years just because they haven't actually managed to kill it yet while social services has been teaching them not to, I think sometimes there may be no other alternative to removal.

I admit I was totally stupid for paying the guy before the work was done, and with that caveat, I need advice.

I had a ding in my car, and I found someone to fix it without going through my insurance company or an expensive body shop. He pulled out the ding very nicely, but he didn't have the paint to fill in the gaps when I first hooked up with him in a neutral spot. He put putty on the places that needed paint, and he told me he'd call me when the paint got in. This was a week ago Sunday.

I've talked to him a couple of times since, and he promised he'd do the paint job over the weekend (some story about the paint not coming in until Friday). I had his number and he had my cell phone number.

I left a message last night that I would like to get my car finished, and I never heard back. I called again this morning and the number has changed.

I do not know whether or not my pestering him for a week has anything to do with the number being changed, and it seems like $200 isn't enough to warrant a change in number, but I'm suspicious.

Anyhow, if that's the case, he's never heard of the internet, because it took me about two seconds to find his address.

So do I pursue the bastard via his home address or do I give up? Do I go there (it's in a part of town that I do not know very well) or do I write a demand letter? All I want is for him to finish the job he's started. I'm pretty sure that he's small time, and I'm also pretty sure that this is one of those instances where the letters "J.D." might be a bit intimidating.

There is no solution.
 

I was thinking Sub-Saharan Africa, but whatever.

not7y(Feed...the...Wooorllld...Let_them_know_its_Christmas_Time)S

Casting Call
 

I didn't realize that I had a friend that worked for ABC.

I just got the following e-mail, if you wish to respond, shoot me an e-mail or a PM and I'll give you the e-mail address. I'll keep all requests for the address confidential.

Got What in Pocket?
 

As this has become an issue, I thought it best to provide a cite: Lyrrics to "Brass in Pocket" from Pretenders fansite.

Like Paigow, I thought she was singing something like "sassy," but the sidestep line fits in with her "new skank, it's so reet" so I'll trust Chrissie's judgment.

Back when the punks listened to reggae...

He's surely not running to get away with your $200, since the bulk of his work is done. (The painting is probably 1/4 of the total.) Like most people who do such work cheap, he's probably usually broke and just got his phone cancelled. Try to reach him a few times via short, nice notes, and, if you have no luck, call MAACO or someone like them and ask how much they would charge to just paint in the spot. By the time you do what you would have to do in order to track down and threaten this guy, . . . well, it would be a very inefficient use of your time. Plus, threaten him, and you just know the paint job will be high quality.

Casting Call
 

If c2ed became the next Bachelorette, that could be the most meta experience of our collective lives.

Paging PLF
 

Guy calls cops to report his stolen gun and dope

A new Smoking Gun candidate for future Darwin awards events.

Job Position for DS
 

Heck, I'm beginning to think they should be providing services in Klingon. If Google does it, why not?

http://www.google.com/intl/xx-klingon/

[spree: Google, in Klingon.]

Attention Hockey People
 

Here's a question. I've never heard it discussed, but it has to have been at some point.

Why don't hockey teams hire a gigantic fattie -- how about that black sumo wrestler, Emanuel Yarbrough -- and just plop him in front of the goal? All he would have to do is move his arm here and there to stop shots from entering the 6 inches of open net. Not Bob? GWNC? Bueller? Anyone? It would be the equivalent of Manute Bol in the NBA or Eddie Gaedel in baseball.

Look at this picture. Look at it! Don't turn away! LOOK!

http://www.tribuneindia.com/2002/20020404/sp8.jpg

I need to know why this couldn't work.

Thurgreed(and that kid E/O saw on tv would have a bright future and his parents would be praised for doing what it took to make him a success)Marshall

"Coupling" Comes to NBC
 

Relocation to Chicago didn't seem to hurt "High Fidelity" much.

Among the BBC programs that, if remade, will result in the death of a television executive at my hands, are "The Office" (because some dumbshit will add a laugh track, and Americans don't have a preexisting base of non-gameshow reality television to parody, so no one will get the jokes), "Ground Force" (which ain't gonna happen, because Americans suck at gardening and don't care); and "Ballykissangel" (which technically already happened, with PAX's "Hope Island," but no one has ever seen that, because let's face it, I'm not gonna watch a network that gave Billy Ray Cyrus a series in which he plays a fucking doctor, for chrissakes).

They can have at "Manchild," "Coupling," and "AbFab" for all I care, as long as they don't try to remake "Fawlty Towers."

Has anyone watched "Monarch of the Glen"? I haven't had time for it, but now that Buffy's gone, I've got a free hour per week, and I think I've forgotten how to read.

Question for DS
 

Is your avatar that chick from Missing Persons (Do you hear me? Do you care? What are words for?)? And if so, is that a reference to your former AWOL status?

Got What in Pocket?
 

I am so hurt. You left me out completely. See post #5587.

Edited to add what does "new skank, it's so reet" mean?