Counterpoint
 

They are the Boba Fetts of the Timmies.

Poll
 

Chocolate seems to be doing the trick much more pleasantly.

It might be a tumor...
 

Since you bring up the topic of disgusting tumors, I will tell you all a little story:

My dog had this little "bubble" thing on her leg. It was the color and size of a tick that is ballooned-up with blood. I tried to pull it off, and realized that it was no tick -- but some kind of growth (eew).

So anyway, I just left it there, but now it's grown quite a bit. It's now about the size of a kiwi (the fruit -- not someone from NZ), and it's pretty revolting to look at. In fact, I brought her over to my barn yesterday, and one of the barn managers said, "Eeew -- what's that thing on her leg?" (Mind you, this is a dude who shovels shit for a good part of his day.)

I think it's just some skin thing -- and it doesn't seem to bother her, but maybe I'll have a vet take a look at it. Better yet, I'll just have the equine vet have a look-see the next time she's at the barn, as my doggie will be taking her vacation there while we're on our vacation (see that? -- two birds, one stone, &c? -- they don't call me a know-it-all for nuthin'!).

Counterpoint
 

Your first sentence escapes me; am I androgynous? Whatever. I just like the way pantyhose feel. I still read Playboy and prefer my beer out of cans. I have a pistol and I fucking love Jesus.

I get bored with the time-space continuum thing. Call me simple, but I like my flicks to proceed sequentially. I can dig flash forwards like those in Easy Rider, but following a cat running around in the recesses of his mind doesn't do it for me. I got the deeper philosophical point, and it was artfully done as far as flicks go (why they had to make everyone look homeless and bedraggled I don't get, but Kaufman seems to like that imagery), but once that point is made early, where else do I go? I just sit for another hour and wait for the end.

Your last sexist generalization is unfair, as though I've never loved and lost. Actually... I have never loved and lost. There was only one chick who really burned me once. OK, maybe two. Yes, it was two. Maybe my inability to appreciate emotional loss in relationships hobbles my ability to get Chucky K's flicks. I'll update you after I fuck up my marriage. Jesus, did I just say that? That better not happen. They'd find me dead in Costa Rica with a pile of festering sores on my privates and a distended liver.

I watched Before Sunset on Sat nite with the wife. We both agreed that its overrated. That one is very sequential, and very boring. Its just watching "prelude to a fuck" for an hour and a half. That franshise was phoned in from the start.

Poll
 

Step 1: Don't be creepy.

Most of us can stop reading right there.

Counterpoint
 

not a bad way to go, considering.

Poll
 

I think that the pamphlet is fine up until the end part. The final step, of course, is the most crucial step, so if the FBer fucks that up, then they're SOL and they need to find a different hotel bar, a different FB Betty, and start all over again at step one. It's a pain in the ass, but most worthwhile things are. The good news is the FBer has one more story for em's aresnal.

Counterpoint
 

Sorry -- I was unclear. I was just trying to be helpful. You asked was there some sort of exercise program you could undertake in order to "understand" ESSM and such. Barely's theory was that it was perhaps a sex-related issue (i.e., that chicks dig the movie, dudes don't). I was suggesting that you could undergo a sex-change operation (or maybe that's too much -- perhaps estrogen therapy?) with the happy [albeit not guaranteed] outcome of your new-found appreciation for ESSM.

(Gosh -- that's a lot of explaining for something that wasn't all that funny to begin with.)

Counterpoint
 

I've tried. Lord knows I tried. I view doctors with a fear thats hard to understand. This game of chess with the liver police can only go on so long. I've been ducking the Dylan Thomas/Keith Moon speech for some time now, but the old lady's making me get a physical come the new year. I might be facing a less enthusiastic weekend agenda come 2005.

But so far, never an STD. Thats one hurdle I can't figure out how I cleared in law school and college.

But I have had the "test", which, as anyone who's ever had a projectile inserted there can attest, is as close to hell as you'll come on Earth. All that pain, just for a doc to say "I think you're severely dehydrated and overstressed. Get some sleep and stop drinking." Fuck you doc. I was neither dehydrated nor stressed before you brought out that goddamned wand and treated me like a Guatanamo detainee..

Counterpoint
 

I know it was unfair; that's why I included that bullet-proof disclaimer. I would never suggest men don't have deep feelings about love/loss -- I know that's not the case (hell, it's a dude who made the movie!). Perhaps it's the ability to identify with the emotion/experience via celluloid that is sex-based. Eh -- who knows? I'm just making this up as I go along (as if that weren't obvious).

Not sure how that last sentence fits in, but I certainly hope never to be updated if that's the only thing that will allow you to appreciate ESSM. (I wouldn't generalize to all C.Kaufman's movies -- I've seen them all, but purely by accident, I assure you -- I wouldn't have even known they were all related-by-writer had I not read the board today.)

BJM was entertaining, but if there was some deep meaning in there, I certainly missed it. Adaptation - I would say there was more to it than BJM, but it didn't register with me in the same way as ESSM.

Counterpoint
 

Charlie Kauffman wrote Being John Malkovitch, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, Adaptation and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. He's written one more, but I'm blanking on the name and I haven't seen it. I've liked all of them but Adaptation (which I understood, and appreciated, but didn't really like). I LOVED ESOTSM, and until today, I didn't think it was a chick flick. I didn't find the movie confusing, and I loved watching the reverse love story. I also loved watching the main character eventually learn to let go and simply live in the moment of his memory. I loved the hopeful optimism of trying out something that you know is doomed for failure. I'm not a big Jim Carrey fan, but I thought he was perfect for this. It's one of those movies that resonated with me.

I loved this movie too, and I cried for about an hour after seeing it. It's possible that my emotional state at the time had a lot to do with it. I thought it was emotionally honest and it was more complicated than it's predecessor (which I also loved).

Counterpoint
 

Its not you; its me. 1/2 hour ago:

Mr. D: "So how are you doing... are you feeling any better?"*

Mrs. D: "Well, I made it downstairs."

Mr. D: "Have you gotten out of bed?"

Mrs. D: "Did you hear what I just said?"

Mr. D: "Well, it sounds like you're feeling better."

Mrs. D: "Could you pick up some ginger ale on the way home?"

Mr. D: "Do you want anything from the store?"

Mrs. D: Hang Up

I'd say my inability to communicate was a symptom of multitasking, but I have no desire to turn this place into a house of lies.

* Wife has flu.

Counterpoint
 

On second thought GWNC, maybe I will offer that condom.

Counterpoint
 

That is so sweet.

But I will say this, like SD, I have never had an STD. I analogize it to those people who smoke 2 packs a day and live until they are 100 and then die of botulism or something.

It might be a tumor...
 

Poor dog.

How does she feel about themes of loss and what might have been?